Writing Feedback / Education-sat practice essay; other than school influences on education? [4]

Below is another essay I wrote practicing for the SAT. I would welcome any feedback that can point me in the right direction to a successful SAT essay! Below is the prompt I received and then the essay I wrote. Thank you -kendra

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.
The education people receive does not occur primarily in school. Young people are formed by their experiences with parents, teachers, peers, and even strangers on the street, and by the sports teams they play for, the shopping malls they frequent, the songs they hear, and the shows they watch. Schools, while certainly important, constitute only a relatively small part of education.

Assignment:
Is education primarily the result of other than school? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Education is not simply and intellectual ability that one achieves at school; it incorporates every facet of one's life that occupies any significant amount of time or importance. Such as a book read, a class drama production, a sport played and any other meaningful experience.

A famous quote says: "you are what you read". That can be considerably true because literature has the power to form opinions which in turn shape lives. Therefore, books and articles read are part of a person's education and formation.

Many times extracurricular activities mark a one's personality as well. I have learned many things from practicing competitive artistic skating. From self-discipline to good sportsmanship to self-esteem this experience has only enhanced my life with permanent values. These lessons have assisted me in innumerous other situations in my life.

Although most refer to education simply inferring school classes it goes beyond that. Someone in formed by his or her daily life and personal experiences.

Writing Feedback / Memories are something everyone has! - SAT [2]

HI, this is another essay I wrote to practice for the SAT. Below is the prompt and then the essay I wrote. Please feel free to give me any tips. More specifically I would like to know if it is too impersonal or if it doesn't give a broad view of the situation.

Assignment: Do memories hinder or help people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Memories are something everyone has. Whether they are painful or pleasant each person has a past. The difference is what is done with it. Many believe that the past is irrelevant and mustn't be brought into discussion, however memories can be powerful and life changing. One's past is part of that individual and must be embraced with respect.

Understanding what has past is a significant step towards comprehending the present. That is the very reason our society teaches history in its classrooms; once it is understood we can begin to grasp the complexity of modern society. The same is true with human lives. The past must be remembered with care because it shapes individual lives.

Furthermore, the past also holds the ability to teach. When people reject their past they are truly rejecting themselves the opportunity to learn and to grow. To evaluate a previous mistake is become empowered with antidotes against committing the same offense again.

In conclusion, memories hold strong influential power, and when used correctly that power can successfully enable an individual. They have the ability to teach and mold one's life. One's past must be treated with utmost care and worn with intense pride.

Writing Feedback / Your career must compliment yourself; Career Choice [3]

Hi, This is an essay I just wrote after recieving a prompt and I would appreciate any suggestions. I am trying to prepare myself as best as possible for the SAT and ACT. thank you.

As I grow older I begin to face important decisions, above all the choice of a career. In this decision many factor weigh, including payment, personal talents and job market acceptance. The more I ponder these, the more I realize one thing: Your career must compliment yourself.

One's job should be the continuation of his or her passion. Studies show that those who genuinely enjoy their profession are more probable candidates for promotions. These employee's are the ones who believe in themselves and in the cause they work for. Hence, their work is less likely to exhaust and drain them. It can even be a source of renewal and strength.

However, too many times that is not true. And the career choice comes from family pressure or financial motives rather than personal talent evaluation. This commonly results in an unsatisfied professional who is less likely to evolve within the company.

One's career choice is of utmost importance for it will define the future of that individual. The decision should take into great consideration one's personal desires and aptitudes. This will result in a healthy citizen with a passion-driven profession.

Writing Feedback / A constant topic among political discussions is the extent of Gvt Responsibility [2]

A constant topic among political discussions is the extent of government responsibility, where the public responsibility ends and the State's begins. I firmly believe the control leis with the people. The population withholds the power to decide the society's destiny.

A clear example of this happened in the 1950s with the Montgomery Bus Boycott. This mutiny, lead by Martin Luther King Jr., became a mark in history. The force of the movement caused laws to change and behaviors to alter. It is a profound example of how society can create itself.

Although the population elects representatives to do this job for them, these public servants need continual monitoring. As the British historian, Lord Acton, once said: "Absolute power corrupts absolutely". Therefore, they need steady surveillance. The error begins when shaded trust is formed.

Individuals often complain about the lack of political attention an issue receives. However, the crucial need of individual initiation is forgotten. If the public blindly believed in a self-sufficient government we would fall into a bottomless hole of corruption and inert changes.

The hand of a demanding population must drive politics. In numerous regions this power sits lifelessly in the laps of the people. It is a mistake to neglect the decisions of ones nation. We need to grasp this control in hopes of ameliorating our daily lives and those of our children.