Writing Feedback / Toefl: A person look and dress is more important for success than having good idea. [5]

I`m waiting for your help~ Please check my essay and give some advice~ thank you~!!

Some people may believe that the outward appearance does not treat as a genuine competence in the work place. However, in some occupation groups such as sales representatives, actors, and fashion models, the appearance is the most important element to succeed. Therefore it is quite controversial whether a person`s look is more important than having good idea. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that one`s appearance is significant factor for his or her success. There are main two reasons why I think so: to appeal themselves to others more attractively and to and to present how much they are decent.

First of all, the well-organized outward appearance can be an effective tool for appealing to others. It does not take a genius to think that if a person dress-up with a neat style, he can bring about more favorable responses or positive first impression from others than the untidy style people. There are astonishing research data that supports my opinion. According to a recent news article, a survey is conducted by some research institute, which is about the interrelationship between the people`s clothing style and other observers` imagination of subjective person`s occupation. In the experiment, the researchers set the same person with two different types of dress. One was messy casual style, and the other was formal suit style. When researchers mock this experimental subject person as an interviewee in front of several interviewers, every interviewer gives higher grade when the subject person dresses up tidy style. This phenomenon reflects how significantly people`s look influence on their evaluation by others.

Secondly, tidy external feature means not just for having attractiveness, but it means they are very decent and well-organized person. It is often said that sometimes outward appearances give more exact information about one`s characteristics or perspectives than their introductions or explanations. Most people may agree with that the more people adorn themselves, the more they can get other`s positive attention. However, they also knows that how difficult to keep their tidiness because it requires time, labor, and even money. Thus, if someone seems to have attractive appearance, we should consider their decent attitude. Additionally, those people have a tendency to deal their tasks in well-organized processes as well as their look. In this sense, they can gain more reliability from others, which in turn is beneficial to gather support by others or to manage their social relationships.

In conclusion, there are many advantages for people who hold well-organized looks as I explained above. Thus, if people want to succeed in their work field, they should pay more attention to their outward appearance.

Writing Feedback / Toefl: Being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary [5]

If a company assures their employees with great quality of working conditions such as a workplace, business welfare, and salary, we may evaluate it as an optimal work position. However, because most companies provide limited supplies, most people should deal with the confliction between the ideal pay condition and their own dream jobs. Therefore, it is quite controversial whether being happy with a job is more important than having a high salary. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that without satisfaction for the payment, people cannot enjoy their lives. There are main two reason why I think so: An appropriate amount of wage is a justified compensation of one`s labor, and the majority of people need extra money not only for themselves but also for their family.

First of all, if people cannot earn the reasonable amount of money, then they will easily feel dissatisfaction, even if they belong to their desired companies. According to the recent news article, the majority of workers suffer from the gap between their expectation and actual amount of salary. Especially, in the news article, the author explains a case of some researchers who work at a venture business. According to the article, while the researchers invented some advanced type of antibiotics, because the patent of the new molecules are taken by the company, they only received a less incentives from the company, and their discontent spurred to dispute between the authority and the labor union. With this case, we can think that the salary means not only the money from the company but also it means workers` right in return for one`s endeavor.

Secondly, the one of the main reasons why people want high salary is that they need an adequate amount of money to support their old parents or young children. It does not take a genius to think that the current price level is too rapidly increasing to handle it. From the basic living necessary to educational expenses, the cost of every fundamental element for living keeps increasing. Thus, except a certain rich class, it is the monthly repeated concern for ordinary people that how much they earn and how to use it. Briefly, in this unstable economic state, people`s tendency to pursue the high-waged job is an inevitable phenomenon.

In conclusion, admittedly, if the company abundantly offers the salary to their employee, every worker can work with their satisfaction. Unfortunately, however, if a person were in the situation to select a job based on between his or her work preference and the high salary, it is quite difficult for him to ignore the money condition if he considers the above aspects what I explained.

Writing Feedback / Toefl : Books have more influence on society than the television [3]

There are both similar and distinguishing roles and characteristics between books and televisions. Therefore, it is quite controversial that among two options, which one is more influential on our society. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that since television invented, television has more strongly influenced on people`s lives than the book has. There are main two reasons why I think so: Television gathers people`s attention more effectively, and television programs are more audience-friendly media than books.

Nowadays, televisions are installed everywhere such as individual houses, shops, and even public places, which means that we can watch the TV without any difficulties. However, if we try to use or purchase a book, we may easily feel that purchasing process is somewhat complicated. To read a book, we should deal a series of purchasing process including going a book store, looking for a list of books, paying for the books, and lastly bringing them home. It requires not only money but also time and labor to read a book. Thus, people`s tendency to get apathetic to the book is somewhat natural phenomenon, and the reducing influence of books is inevitable trend among society.

Secondly, each book holds limited themes and genres which reflect authors` particular characteristics. In other words, books are biased media toward authors not audiences. In the current society, people can spend a less amount of rest time. They want to feel relax and enjoy their rest time abundantly. In this sense, many TV program producers attempt to merge several genres or contents in each program to satisfy their audiences. While TV companies make programs with meeting the audiences` tastes, authors have a tendency to put their particular writing style in their publications as a tool for securing their fans and manias. Because it is not easy for readers to accept each author`s writing style, they tend to stick to a certain type of an author or a genre, and this segregated trend in book culture may be too limited to say that the book has bigger power on society than TV.

In conclusion, because TV is more accessible and provides various contents at once, people usually choose watching TV than reading a book, which in turn fortifies TV`s influence on the society.

Please check my essay and let me realize what the problems are.. Thank you x)