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Toefl: A person look and dress is more important for success than having good idea.

Namnam 3 / 8  
Oct 4, 2011   #1
I`m waiting for your help~ Please check my essay and give some advice~ thank you~!!

Some people may believe that the outward appearance does not treat as a genuine competence in the work place. However, in some occupation groups such as sales representatives, actors, and fashion models, the appearance is the most important element to succeed. Therefore it is quite controversial whether a person`s look is more important than having good idea. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that one`s appearance is significant factor for his or her success. There are main two reasons why I think so: to appeal themselves to others more attractively and to and to present how much they are decent.

First of all, the well-organized outward appearance can be an effective tool for appealing to others. It does not take a genius to think that if a person dress-up with a neat style, he can bring about more favorable responses or positive first impression from others than the untidy style people. There are astonishing research data that supports my opinion. According to a recent news article, a survey is conducted by some research institute, which is about the interrelationship between the people`s clothing style and other observers` imagination of subjective person`s occupation. In the experiment, the researchers set the same person with two different types of dress. One was messy casual style, and the other was formal suit style. When researchers mock this experimental subject person as an interviewee in front of several interviewers, every interviewer gives higher grade when the subject person dresses up tidy style. This phenomenon reflects how significantly people`s look influence on their evaluation by others.

Secondly, tidy external feature means not just for having attractiveness, but it means they are very decent and well-organized person. It is often said that sometimes outward appearances give more exact information about one`s characteristics or perspectives than their introductions or explanations. Most people may agree with that the more people adorn themselves, the more they can get other`s positive attention. However, they also knows that how difficult to keep their tidiness because it requires time, labor, and even money. Thus, if someone seems to have attractive appearance, we should consider their decent attitude. Additionally, those people have a tendency to deal their tasks in well-organized processes as well as their look. In this sense, they can gain more reliability from others, which in turn is beneficial to gather support by others or to manage their social relationships.

In conclusion, there are many advantages for people who hold well-organized looks as I explained above. Thus, if people want to succeed in their work field, they should pay more attention to their outward appearance.
richard35568 6 / 14  
Oct 4, 2011   #2
well , material to back up your first reason should be reorganized, personally;)
anyway, i think you can get around 23
basawang 10 / 76  
Oct 4, 2011   #3
I do not understand what did the researchers do.

Besides, you need to use past tense.

4. I think the two reasons in this essay are quite similar.

It would be better if you can develop other reasons to replace the second one.

Good luck
OP Namnam 3 / 8  
Oct 5, 2011   #4
I really appreciate basawang~!Actually I also thought that I stated similar reasons while I wrote this essay..and maybe.. the example of an experiment was quite hard to illustrate... ;; um.. maybe,.. I should try to write essay for this topic one more time..
Enlightenus 1 / 2  
Oct 5, 2011   #5
well, mock can mean "imitate" but I am not sure what you want to say here.

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