Graduate / Personal History Statement - deprived minorities in higher education access [3]

Dear All,

I would like to seek some feedback on my 2nd graduate essay prompt regarding personal contribution/history to promote diversityin the university. Any advice would be appreciated. thank you.

In an essay, discuss how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. Please include any educational, familial, cultural, economic, or social experiences, challenges, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual, or cultural diversity within your chosen field; and/or how you might serve educationally underrepresented segments of society with your degree.

While African-American liberalism has been an elusive revolution in American history, the issues of racial equity in (country) lies within a more subtle and intricate note which evolved from the country's colonial history. Constitutions of (country) established racial quotas for government employment, federal licenses and contracts grants, and tertiary education enrolments to safeguard the special positions of the country's natives. What may not be immediately lucid is that the (races) - two significant racial minorities in (country) - were not considered as natives when the constitution was released in (year), and this remains today, at least on a legal note.

I received my 6 years of secondary education from a community based independent school. Successive government has adopted a policy of non-recognition towards the school's comparatively high academic achievements when compared to most government funded institutions for reasons beyond political, social and economical gain. I was disheartened to find that I was not qualified for local universities admission, when my certifications are deemed adequate by British system. Moreover, under the influence of a ruling government dominated by a majority race, preferential education policies such as university admission and award of scholarship or provision of education loan tilted heavily towards the majority race, depriving the minority races of equal opportunities for higher educations. Consequently, my parents decided that foreign institutions are my best options to obtain quality educations. I witnessed my parents, like every other non-native family, striving very hard their entire lives to secure funding for my tertiary education overseas.

Having been through the hardship of accessing higher education himself, my father has been an advocate of change in tertiary education policies for years and worked alongside with many organizations and politicians in lobbying for non-deprivation of opportunities for the minorities. He pools together financial resources from associates and directs them in place charity funds to help ease the burdens of those in need. This has ingrained a very deep consciousness in me from a young age, where I participated in various charity events to help raise educational funds for the less privileged. One example is when I initiated an event among fellow students to collect household recyclable materials, where (amount) was raised. Though not a significant amount, the effort was highly praised.

My experience and exposure during overseas study has helped me realize that education and wide exposure to globalization ideas are the first steps in raising awareness over the issue. I met fellow (people) who studied overseas, both natives and non-natives. Through our conversations and mingling, I find that they who ventured into foreign country, truly values racial equity and tolerance. Growing up in a country with a rich potpourri of ethnicity, I have learnt to appreciate that racial harmony requires respect, tolerance and be open mindedness in accepting any cultural differences rather than to compare them against my own values. This, enriched by my overseas endeavors, has helped broaden my perspectives of life and ability to blend well with people from a diverse background. To help ease my family's burden, I took up part time jobs to earn my own living fees, which have also enhanced my social skills.

These experiences has allowed me to recognize the difficulties that my parents have been through to send me overseas for higher education, and motivated me in pursuing the highest achievement that I am capable of. I believe that with my unique background, I will be able to share a different experience with my peers, promoting appreciation of opportunities to receive higher education besides the essential values of multiculturalism.

Graduate / Nuclear Engineering - How a mechanical graduate shaped his aspiration in this field. [3]

HI all. This is my second attempt on my SOP for nuclear engineering MS/PhD. I have rewrote the essay and did a thorough research in the fields of study and identified an area that interests me and would like to focus on research in that area. The essay is very long, so I would strongly appreciate any suggestion on which part(s) are redundant and should be cut out. Thank you very much for your time in advance.

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Please describe your aptitude and motivation for graduate study in your area of specialization, including your preparation for this field of study, your academic plans or research interests in your chosen area of study, and your future career goals. Please be specific about why ***** would be a good intellectual fit for you.

Technological advancement has been the culprit in accelerating fossil fuel depletion and global climate change albeit the quality of life it has brought to us. The concerns have invoked a change in the scope today from the insanely fuel thirsty muscle cars to fuel sipping efficient hybrids. My decision to further my education to postgraduate level in Nuclear Engineering has emerged not from the economic aspect in future career, but rather a vision and aspiration of a young engineer in mitigating the energy crisis through a new found interest. The active research and development of alternative resources together with the technical background input from my undergraduate have orchestrated a profound consciousness in shaping my future engineering career, which I am determined to dedicate it to nuclear engineering.

Nuclear energy was first introduced to me by my uncle, who is himself a practising nuclear engineer. I was intrigued by the sheer amount of energy density contained, and the fact that it is virtually inexhaustible. Amidst this time of desperation when the world struggles with economic and energy calamities, I firmly believe that it is inevitable for nuclear energy to replace fossil fuels, economical and technological wise in the foreseeable future. To fuel my developing interest and curiosity in nuclear, I explored the fundamentals of nuclear power plants and the wide scopes of research concerned with the sustainability of nuclear energy through online resources. I find that the more I learn, the more I yearn for a thorough understanding and involvement in the field.

One area of research in nuclear energy that I find resonating with my mechanical engineering background is the associating cogenerative systems, particularly water desalination using the excess heat. I first learnt power plant cogeneration in undergraduate thermodynamics and have always thought that waste heat has been underrated as an exploitable energy source in many applications today, including automotive and nuclear power plants. The presence of radiators and cooling towers indicates that heat energy wastage still exists. Nuclear desalination offers a clever solution by utilizing waste heat energy in addressing the increasing pressure of accessing potable water associated with over population and industrialization.

My undergraduate degree has provided me with a solid foundation in the underlying principles of mechanical engineering where I grew strong research inclination in thermo-fluid dynamics. To supplement the abstract theories with practical applications, I joined a farm irrigation project under ********* in 2009. It is from this project that I realize securing clean water supply that we take for granted is under the same desperation as energy. I gained invaluable experience in applications of fluid dynamics of water delivery systems as well as water treatments techniques involved in recycling water.

Furthering my insights into current research and practice concerned with energy saving, I then joined ******* as an intern during a student exchange program to ******** in 2010. I worked as a data analyst on the study of building external ductwork prevalence using GIS software packages and spreadsheet analysis under the supervision of ********. It is from here that I learnt the pervasive study of energy saving in HVAC technologies which reinforced my research aptitude. The exchange program also made me realize that it is only through pursuing my graduate studies in USA, with cutting edge researches and state of the art facilities, that I am able to fulfil my aspiration as a pioneering researcher.

The inseparable relationship between environmental and energy sustainability has prompted me to take up a PET recycling design project during my senior year under ********. The project yielded successful outcome with a proposed design weighing less than 500kg that is capable of processing raw PET bottles to clean PET flakes. Potential developers and customers have also been secured for prototyping. Aside from the excitement of personal contribution to the environment and society, I mastered CAD packages such as SolidWorks which proved useful in engineering design.

Energy sustainability and efficiency is an area which I have developed what's best described as an obsession throughout my undergraduate studies. This has shaped my academic and career aspiration to transcend new scopes of research in nuclear power plant cogenerations focussing on water desalination. Of particularly exciting to me is the development of floating nuclear power plants, which provides an ideal platform for cogeneration of seawater desalination. Engineering research today has evolved into one with a high level of integration within its fields, and nuclear desalination is the perfect example. It is imperative to adopt a multidisciplinary approach in order to excel forward. My rich background in thermo-fluid dynamics and mechanical design polished by the projects I was involved in hence complements well to this area.

As a mechanical graduate, postgraduate study in nuclear engineering is indispensable to develop the necessary understandings before embarking on my research. Hence, I seek an institution that offers an extensive range of courses in conjunction with state of the art research facilities. The well structured courses offered together with the established research in cogenerative desalination under thermal hydraulics area, has made *********** (school name) the ideal platform for me in extending my academic pursuits and working towards my career objectives.

Graduate research calls for critical problem solving backed with strong fundamental theories, whole-hearted devotion to every meticulous detail, resilience to continuous improvements learnt from downturns, and most importantly, fervent passion and desire to success supported by a laudable faculty. I am confident that my intellectual background and resolute dedication to academics and research will make original contributions to the esteemed faculty in nuclear desalination. I therefore plead for the Admissions Committee to favourably consider me for admission.

Graduate / "my view of nuclear energy in the future" - SOP for nuclear engineering PhD [2]

Hi all, I found this website and would like to seek some advise on my statement of purpose for grad school application. it is rather long winded at the moment but I could not decide on which part to cut out. Would appreciate any advice or suggestions. Thanks in advance.

Please describe your aptitude and motivation for graduate study in your area of specialization, including your preparation for this field of study, your academic plans or research interests in your chosen area of study, and your future career goals. Please be specific about why ****** would be a good intellectual fit for you.

I am a Mechanical Engineering senior at *****university who is expected to receive my Bachelor of Engineering degree in December 2011. I wish to pursue a MS and ultimately PhD degree in Nuclear Engineering at **** with research emphasis in waste management and fusion analysis.

Amidst the time where mankind are posed with unprecedentedly complex energy challenges, nuclear energy remains the ultimate power source that provides most prominent solutions, both economical and technological wise. The emerging Asian countries have recognized nuclear energy is a source too dear to abandon and already expressed interests in this technology, including Malaysia. As the technology develop, the foreseeable demand of nuclear engineers in Asia has motivated me to pursue the indispensable graduate studies in order to equip myself with the necessary understandings and enhance my credentials as a research professional at an academic or commercial level.

In the wake of Fukushima incident and commission of WIPP at New Mexico, the desperation to address safety and waste management issues before nuclear energy gains its public confidence is evident. I had the opportunity to speak with Dr. Jor-Shan Choi from BNRC, who is active in the study of non-proliferation policy and nuclear safety. I concur with his view that the past incidents including the Three Mile Island and Chernobyl and the recent Fukushima will hold little chance in shaking the developing foundations of nuclear power in Asia, but draw a higher awareness and investment into the research of safety and viability of the technology if anything. From the development of generation IV reactors that yield higher energy rating besides minimizing waste to fusion reactors which virtually eliminate radioactive leak, the prospects of nuclear power have never been this exciting in attracting one to pursue a career in.

My academic aspiration is to transcend new scopes of research in nuclear waste management and development of the safer and more versatile fusion reactors. Undergraduate degree has provided me with a solid foundation in underlying principles of mechanical engineering where I developed strong interests in thermo-fluid and dynamic systems. My consistently high performance in academics during high school as well as undergraduate courses has earned me first class honours standing in my degree. Participating in exchange program to ***** has allowed me to gain exposure to the American education system which in my opinion nurtured my research aptitude. I attained a cumulative GPA of 3.9/4.0, which has spurred my confidence on pursuing graduate studies in United States. The Dean's List Awards from two different universities in Australia and US further recognized my capacity to excel in engineering coursework.

I previously joined ****** as a student intern where I worked on the research of building cool duct prevalence study using GIS software and spreadsheet data analysis under supervision of Dr. *****. My Mechanical Final Year Project under Dr. ***** of ***** comprised of research and novel design of a semi-portable plastic recycling stall using Solidworks package, aimed to improve profit margin of waste collectors in nations like India and China. The proposed design occupying merely 2 cubic meters and weighing less than 500kg is capable of processing raw PET bottles to clean PET flakes suitable for further processing into final products. Upon implementation, the proposed market plan not only opens up more marketting opportunity for waste collectors by eliminating waste traders who stand between collectors and recycling plants, but also revolutionize the industry with a lower cost system compatible with current recycling plants through partial decentralisation. Both experiences have burgeoned my interest and prepared me well to embark on a career path in engineering research with environmental concerns.

Having been introduced ****** Nuclear Department by my uncle who earned his PhD degree there, I am well aware of the prestigious and honorable history of the department. Browsing through the department's website quickly appealed to me with the broad spectrum of research areas and the considerable facilities. In particular, I find Professor *****'s research topics in waste management and the development of nuclear power in Asia match my interest, and was advised by Professor **** to apply for the program through an opportunity to exchange email with him.

Switching from mechanical to nuclear engineering major, I realize that my undergraduate studies have not exposed me fully to this field. I therefore seek an institution that offers a broad aspect of related courses in conjunction with well funded research facilities. It is of my sincere belief that joining the department is the most promising milestone achievable in extending my academic pursuits and working towards my career objectives. I am confident that my intellectual background and resolute dedication to academics and research will live up the expectations of the university and make original contributions to its esteemed faculty as a pioneering research institution. I therefore plead for the Admissions Committee to favourably consider me for admission.