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Posts by Didi94
Joined: Oct 16, 2011
Last Post: Oct 16, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 3
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Didi94   
Oct 16, 2011
Undergraduate / "All wars are civil wars" - Common App- Topic of your choice- WAR [2]

after a few months

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I think this is an amazing essay, but i think you should put a conclusion at the end of the essay. Your essay needs to show what kind of person you are, so maybe you can add, "...makes me a strong person" or something like that.
Didi94   
Oct 16, 2011
Scholarship / 'to become a teacher' what inspires you to pursue a post-high school education & why? [3]

I was inspired to become a teacher when i was in elementary school. My teacher mrs. Nai Nai Aye had the biggest influence on my desire to teach others. She was always loving and was always there when i heeded help . When i felt sad for not doing well in school , she was the only person who understood my fellings. She always gave me with asmiled to me and Also she told me to just work harder, not to worry about my future, but look forward to it. Her gentle tone always made me feel comfortable letting her into my complete life. She was great, generous, passionate, kind and patient. She also lived a hard life which helped her related to me even more. She helped me with a schedule change to helping me fine how to set a better life.Without her caring heart on me i will be lost my future . Now i have my head on straight and ready to help others and teach them the way of living life not because of me, but because of her.I want to be able to connect to my students personally just like how she did with me.

I wanted to be a pr-k teacher who makes positive difference on the future of children. Teacher can taught the future and they can change it before it even arrives. I have always love to give young people the best start in life.Interacting with kids is great. Also , being with themwith has positively influences me as well. They always remind me that there's so many things i should be thankful for and should appreciate. I am always reminded me to say please, thank you, and you're welcome, that can i still be silly even thought i am already a grown up and many other things that i neglect most of the time. Also, Teachers can help set them the right path maybe even guide the children to create a better tomorrow. I love housekeeping and decorating with full color it really make me feel more fresher. Be recreational activities, it is a lot more fun way of interacting and learning with kids. As a hobby, i have been helping my brother with his home work and tutoring him when I have spare time. I have also been helping to kids as a student worker at Migrant Education program with childrens homework after school. I am thankful for these job experiences. They have prepared me mentally and financially. This is important in that i am now more mature and responsible to become a teacher.

There are some lines I didn't understand & colored them in blue. I get the point of your essay, but you keep jumping from the past to the present and then to the past again, which is quite confusing
Didi94   
Oct 16, 2011
Undergraduate / 'a confident girl I am now' - UC freshman essay [3]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

It's amazing how every day seems the same like every other day, but when we look back everything has changed. Before entering senior year, I have always thought of myself as the same person I've always been: shy, obedient, and reserved.

One night during dinner, I and my family were sharing stories while joking around when my mother said, "Are you also this loud at school?" I was quite taken aback by her question. Haven't I been the same person all along?

Looking back, I started to realize how much I have changed. It was during my freshman year when my friends forced me to join the school's dance competition. At first I hesitated. I've never performed in public and it scared me, but after my friends motivated me I decided to try. After weeks of practice we finally performed and won first place. Although it was only an intern event, that small victory boosted my confidence and since then, I started to try new activities.

I joined the debate team where I learned that it's okay, even necessary to be headstrong towards our opinion and that I should be brave to take the risks of being wrong. I also joined the student body and was chosen to become the president, where I learned to be responsible for my decisions.

I grew up to become a confident girl I am now who is not afraid to take risks and be responsible for her own actions. If it weren't for my stubborn friends, I would never have taken any risks and I would still be the same timid girl I used to be.

I don't know whether this essay answers the question and I know this is a very rough essay, so please give comments and critics to help me improve. Thank you in advance :)
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