Undergraduate / 'fascination for computer' - MIT- the world you come from [3]

Promt: Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ____
In middle winter 1992 I was born. At that time, Vietnam was going through revolution and reconstruction. We were in chaos, and were poor. And my family was at the lower classes in that society.

Although the first computer appeared in Vietnam in 1978, it was not until early 2000s' that computer and internet became more popular. When other children accommodated to computers, I was learning how to cook, to wash, to iron. To the child of a poor family like me, that machine was a magical property for which I could only stay from far away wishing.

My fascination for computer was ignited in my 14, when dad decided to buy one as our finance got better and his son's academic achievements, especially in Math, blossomed. From the first time I placed my hands on the keyboard, I was amazed at the seemingly unlimited possibilities a computer could provide. For the first time in my life, I felt such a boisterous urge to discover the mechanism of this device, how it operated, how it was developed, how it could be improved.

My decision to follow computer science surprises many people, especially when I had achieved a gold medal in International Mathematics Olympiad. But I'm confident in my choice. Besides, I receive supports from those most important to me. Mom and dad said they will try their best to enable me chasing my dream. My teacher told me that my choice was correct, as computer science was developed mainly from mathematics, and that I was not born for mathematics but for things which require more creativity.

I have been learning computer science for 1 year myself until now. I do not want to disappoint my teacher. I do not want my parents to work hard; they have done this all their life. And foremost, I'm determined to realize my dream-to become an expert in computer science

______________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ ____

I'm a foreigner, English is not my mother tongue, so I'm quite worry. Also, this essay has 317 words. So I would very appreciate any idea on how to shorten the essay, or gramma correction, sentence review etc. Thank you in advance!

Undergraduate / 'not only in distance but also in relationship' - Stanford roommate letter [3]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better

Hello, my future roommate,
It's unfortunate that I haven't known your name yet, but we all know that I will, soon.
My name is Hung. I come from Vietnam- a nice Asian country at the other side of the Earth. Since we are going to be "closest" buddies for 4 years, I hope that we can be in harmony with each other. Therefore, I feel I should let you know what you are getting by living with me.

Honestly I think I know to be a good roommate- my family used to be very poor and for 15 years I used to share a room with my grandfather. Also, my friends always comment me as friendly, truthful and helpful. I think you definitely won't be disappointed.

I hope you don't discriminate yellow, irreligious, or short people.
I like tidiness. However I know that it's hard for two of us men to maintain the room neatly, so just don't make everything a mess and it's fine.

If you want to borrow my stuff, take it. You can tell me before or after that. But try not to throw things away. You may call me a meanie, but please understand that stuffs are expensive especially for someone Vietnamese goes shopping in the US like me. I don't want to burden my family more.

I might sing all day, as I love singing. Though I'm confident at my voice, I'm sorry in case you find this irritating.

I might get very stressed and bad-tempered sometimes.
I might speak Vietnamese and you won't understand.
I might cry when I miss my hometown.
If you feel anything unpleasant about me, talk to me. I really want us to be straight and open to each other- for us to live happily our four years, not "survive".

I wholeheartedly hope that we will become closest friends not only in distance but also in relationship.
Looking forward to spending our time together soon.
Sincerely,
Hung

I'm new...any comments, compliments and criticism are all wholeheartedly welcomed. Thanks in advance!