Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by pokiworms
Joined: Nov 1, 2011
Last Post: Nov 20, 2011
Threads: 3
Posts: 6  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 9
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pokiworms   
Nov 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'paint and draw' + 'the legacy of Martin Luther King' - UC final [2]

UC1:
I love to paint and draw. When I was young, despite pleas from my mother to not play with my food, I would make images from my cereal or macaroni. When my parents bought me crayons, I was not content with the basic eight color crayon pack; I desired the 128 variety set. Even at such a young age, I knew when to use sky blue versus aquamarine. I would often go beyond the coloring books my parents bought me; I drew and colored images of my very own images. I gave life to many heroes, villains, and ancillary characters. My characters came with a backstory, motivations, and a psyche. I soon started to create storyboards with a three-act plot. My story of a wallaby trying to cross the outback to reunite with his family showed how much I allowed my imagination to grow.

Despite my stretched-out imagination, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw a string of animated movies using computer graphics. They were completely different than the animations that previously filled the television and movies. I was watching talking toys display spatial order like never before. Colors now had shade and characters had more nuanced facial expressions. I noticed shadows, ripples and folds. While these additions may appear supplemental, they are significant to the overall experience of the story. These supplemental additions add nuance to the story and help build a connection to audience members like me. I was witnessing a paradigm shift in storytelling.

Computers and the digital revolution have provided me with a new avenue to express my imagination. I could now convey emotions in my characters, use diverse shades of color, and utilize different textures. I started to learn about computer codes and software design. Computers are powerful tools but they require mastery to achieve accuracy and precision. I soon learned to respect this magnificent tool. Embedded within the structure of digital logic, ironically is a freedom to create highly realistic images with organic and fluid movements. Computers can display things like water and wetness, which were difficult to do under hand-drawn animation. Design software, powered by physic-based engine can make grass move randomly and hair wave in different directions. All this helps to promote the storytelling experience.

I would like to continue to improve my knowledge of the computer graphics medium so that I am free to use my imagination to fuel ideas for stories to tell. If I want to tell a story that takes place underwater or use a character with scales or fur, I can do so through computer graphics. I believe that true progress comes when we overcome the obstacles that prevent us from applying our human potential. I do not think that computer graphics will force the extinction of other storytelling mediums; I believe that computer graphics animation enhances our ability to continue our proud traditions of storytelling. I believe in the experience that comes from storytelling and that is the very reason why I am excited about the direction that computer graphics can take me in my quest for the perfect storytelling experience.

uc2:
Last December, my art teacher announced to the class an art contest to commemorate the legacy of Martin Luther King. The theme of the contest was racial unity towards prosperity. While it sounded very intimidating, surprisingly an idea immediately came to me. I thought of an image in TIME magazine I recently saw of a painting of dozens of hands with thousands of tones and colors huddling around one another in a brick wall with a group of innocent, giggling children holding hands in the foreground. I was inspired by the innocence of the children and the focus of hands. I believe that hands are the tools for human progress, creating the first stone tool to the nuts and bolts of a hybrid engine. Anyone's hands have the potential to make something great regardless of skin tone, but I think the greatest thing we can do with our hands is to reach out to another person's hands and to hold them. So I decided to paint three hands of different races and colors holding a picture of spring against a winter background. I wanted to show the promise of a future together in harmony juxtaposed to the current imperfect reality. I wanted to show the greatness of our future belongs figuratively in the hands of our children. They will make a better future because they are united in aspiration and not divided by skin color.

A couple weeks after I submitted my art piece, my art teacher notified me that I was a finalist for the competition and I was invited to attend the Visions of Unity Banquet to celebrate the legacy of Dr. King At the banquet, the selection committee awarded my painting third place in the competition! I felt truly honored just to be invited but when I found out I won, I was truly humbled. I had never won anything before or received any comparable accolade. I also could not believe my painting even placed based on the other art pieces I saw in the competition.

While it was pleasant to receive recognition for my artwork (Few artists would mind the attention!) I took a lot of pride that my artwork contributed to the promotion of the ideas and principles that Dr. King espoused. It is important to keep his dream alive of racial unity because unity makes our society better; a society that does not value merit is a society that does not last. I would like to continue to use my gift of art to promote unity, human aspirations, and human potential. Art has helped me discover my voice and that even though it does not produce a sound, it can speak volumes. I can convey messages in ways that that have eluded me with essays and speeches. We all can contribute to the progression of our society and it starts with reaching out and holding someone's hand.

This is a great community and I thank you just for reading these! If you have the time, please at least just post one concise sentence about what you thought about my essay? :]
pokiworms   
Nov 20, 2011
Undergraduate / UC Prompt #2: My own war [13]

""grounded" her, meaning making to Earth"

Sentence incomplete?

I am curious as to how your intro will hit the readers. I'm sure it'll grab their attention but I hope you're praying for a more liberal reader.

Overall, the essay seems a bit vague and unclear. Never mind the how it's a bit generic, it seems a bit rebellious, something colleges take offensively. Sure they're looking for outgoing and different individuals, but giving that vibe of rebellion in an essay might seem negative.
pokiworms   
Nov 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Coming from a modern city in India' - UC ESSAY ( MY WORLD ) [5]

Society - the people around a person who affect him mentally or physically through direct contact. This maybe the definition that many a person believe in. However my definition of society is a bit varied.

It's a bit generic. I'm not sure if the UC system will take note of that though. However, the sentences are a bit awkwardly worded.

Try not to add too many filler words and just go for that straight concise match.

This may be the definition that many people accept.

Again, I'm on the same page as you with that deadline. x]
pokiworms   
Nov 4, 2011
Undergraduate / 'won 3rd place in the Art competition' - Syntax/ grammar help with Prompt 2 [3]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are? Again, thank you guys! :]

All the qualifiers gathered into closely knitted tables at the Visions of Unity banquet. We had all been notified through the mail and students from every high school in the district waited for the ceremony to begin. I had won 3rd place in the Art competition, my dad told me before we sat down at a table around the center of the room, so he would like to see the pictures from the other two winners. My dad quickly responded by pointing out some of the faults of my competitors, such as inaccurate drawings, incorrect coloring, and over-simplicity. While some of the faults may have been true, I smiled to myself knowing that he forgot the most important feature of each portrait: the theme, the message that we put into each and every piece of work on display. My picture could have been one worthy of Leonardo Da Vinci's full blessings, but without those fundamental concepts of unity and overcoming internal division, it would never have passed the first stage of judges.

I had first heard of the contest through my peers interested in art and design. While there was a minor cash reward, I chose to think of the event as a test of skill but most importantly, understanding. So when I began the process of making my painting, I first heavily thought of the inspiration behind it, making sure that each of the themes I picked could be displayed within my final product. I found myself browsing hundreds of websites and books to find the perfect scene of inspiration. But it wasn't till a week later while skimming through TIME when I knew I had struck gold. My hands locked up in excitement and I peered closer into magazine. It showed a brick wall with a painting of dozens of hands with thousands of tones and colors huddling around one another, with a similar group of innocent, giggling children holding hands in the foreground. A few more days and I found my scenery, a sharp contrast between the cold dead grasp of winter and the blossoming livery of spring. I eagerly reached for my canvas and brushes and ran off to work.

While I didn't end up as high a rank I hoped for, this picture was a momentous benchmark for me. It wasn't just a competition testing the talents of the artist, but also an actual test to see if he or she truly understood the requirements for unity and acceptance. Partaking in the contest not only developed my skill and experience as an artist, but also as a compassionate and understanding person. Painting my piece drew me to believe that racism and prejudice is possible to be dissolved once people can learn to accept one another. Even now, I am humbled to have been able to make my own way of spreading that vision of unity one step closer to success.

I don't like it as much as my UC Prompt 1 though. :/

Will my prompts not be as effective since both revolve around my experiences with art? Well, to be specific, art and computer science AND art?
pokiworms   
Nov 4, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Rejection has become a close friend' - Personal talent, quality Prompt #2 [4]

Liking the your style of writing, I like your kind of intros with the contrasting statements, Nice transition towards the last body to the conclusion.

Just saying out loud, could it be possibly detrimental focusing so much on the rejection part? Psychologically or something?

ButHowever , my mindset shifted once I realized how much insight I gained from this incident.

I probably can't help edit the essay more because it would be subjective on my part; the syntax is sort of similar with mine and I don't want to change more than I should.
pokiworms   
Nov 4, 2011
Essays / Thesis statements on global warming? [26]

I would have started off with a 3 prong sentence using semicolons to talk about the thoughts of global warming during all 3 time portions?

Or it may be better to just dive in with a general statement encompassing all 3 time periods with Global warming.
pokiworms   
Nov 1, 2011
Undergraduate / 'technology influencing many aspects' - UC where I come from [3]

"Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations."

The by now, very well known prompt that still took me 5 minutes to find. :P

Well, this is my baby after a few hours of planning followed by several rough drafts and editing. Can you guys steer me in the right direction or try to help me add some stronger pointers in my statement? Thank you.

My life since birth has revolved technology influencing many aspects of my life - most importantly, art. As a result, my fondest childhood memories were built up from the development of Computer Generated-Images, which in turn led to movies like Shrek, Finding Nemo, and Toy Story. I vividly remember my amazement at this new medium; the colors were far more varying than simple 2-D cartoons; 3-D shades and aspects were introduced to motion pictures without the need of human models! All these productions were designed through the use of computers filled with sharp, green chips! Little did I happen to know at the time that these simple yet enjoyable movies would firmly cement my interests in science and art.

Reaching adolescence, I began to learn bits and pieces of the world of computers that so piqued my curiosity a few years prior. Scouring online forums for coding tutorials soon became a habitual pursuit that almost began to compete with my academics, but fortunately, I managed to experience the best of both worlds. And so the turmoil of middle school passed by into high school, leaving behind a flimsy foundation of knowledge in computer science. But around this time, I felt a calling towards realist art and began enrolling in art classes and programs where I honed my skills in acrylic painting and graphite sketching. No longer did I strictly pursue a straight path towards computer science, but instead I was drawn to the fond images of my childhood, where technology and art revolve around each other to create stunning visual masterpieces that can depict what we've only yet imagined; a taciturn green ogre strives to save a princess; a clownfish fights an entire ocean against all odds to rescue his son; a pair of toys serve justice to a menacing child.

Currently, art is still an incredible factor of my life today. It has helped me develop my values and ideals as an individual like the abilities to look at situations from multiple perspectives and sides, to maintain a strong curiosity for the mysterious, and to have a burning passion towards my pursuits. These abilities were a result of practicing art, which needed these set of skills in order to flourish. In order to develop an idea for a picture, I needed to examine multiple pictures to find an applicable way to show a subject. In order to work on the piece, I needed to find a method to connect with the image to pour out what I truly intended and felt about the piece.

I realize now that my interests in the Sciences and Arts are not strictly just culminations of my childhood memories, but rather a gateway into leaving behind a message, a story, for future generations in hopes that I may instill in them the same experiences of wonder that inspire and motivate me today. Through my aspirations to integrate the creativity and expressions of art with the technology and mechanics of computer science, I dream to one day be able to express these stories to millions of others possibly kin to me through the medium of computer illustration.

Again, thank you if you've read this far.
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