Undergraduate / 'mom was born in Russia and my father in Ukraine' - UC I the world I come from [2]

I changed my essay quite a lot, any suggestions are welcome :) Thank you

UC Prompt II : Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations

My friends always thought it was weird that in one conversation my family and I incorporated different languages, but this is who I am. It is hard to categorize my ethnicity and to specify exactly my culture since it is a synthesis of my past. I have an intercultural family, where my mom was born in Russia and my father in Ukraine. Living in the collapsing Soviet Union, they started a life together extremely poor, trying to make a living through the merit of education. After moving to Israel my mom gave birth to my brother and me, and we lived there for 5 years. Speaking fluent Russian and Hebrew, I moved with my family to California to a small apartment. I did not yet grasp the new world we were about to live in. I remember noticing a pattern of about every 2 to 3 years moving from one apartment to another and me despising my parents for making me change schools and friends. Until 2006 when my parents were finally content with the level of education in the neighboring schools, we settled into a two story house. Because of their determination to get me to a good public school, I find the value of education to be one of the most important aspects in my life, making my high school teachers and peers a large influence in the way I think and interpret certain things. Through them I learned the importance of hard work ethics in everything I set to accomplish. With that set of mind I am determined to make my aspirations a reality.

I am tempted to write in great detail about my travels throughout the US and Europe. . I was in love with each and every place mostly because of the rich history the locations presented, and the diverse natives. I enjoyed speaking with diverse people across different cultures and was able to find the common ground with ultraorthodox Jews in Israel, deeply Catholic young men in Ireland and courageously atheist girls in post-Soviet Russia. While traveling I promise to never judge others without learning about their culture. Knowledge is the key to everything and I feel like in the world many conflicts occur because some people don't have all the information. I can see my future in learning and enjoying diverse cultures, showing my engagement in trying to make a change in the world. I plan to major in International Relations. By traveling and learning about the world, I hope to be able to affect inter-relations between different nations and, hopefully, foreign policy, by trying to limit war and unnecessary violence and finding non-violent means to resolve conflicts. Growing up I may have been conflicted with my mixture of heritages, but now I cherish it because it has built me into who I am and has definitely pushed me towards my aspirations for my future.

Undergraduate / "Kak tvoy den prashol?" - U.C. Prompt II- The World you Come From [NEW]

Any ideas are welcome! I need to make the essay flow a bit more, and maybe change or add some things. Also the grammer needs improvement

Thank You!

UC Prompt II : Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations

"Kak tvoy den prashol?" my mom would ask me from the kitchen table, "good" I would reply while taking a bite out of my piroshky. This would be an example of my daily interactions that I have with my parents. My friends always thought it was weird that in one conversation we incorporated different languages, but this is who I am. It is hard to specify exactly my culture and to categorize my ethnicity since it is a synthesis of my past. I felt like I could never be fully Russian or fully American if I had three different nations in my identity. My childhood stems from a story of having an intercultural family where my mom was born in Russia and my father in Ukraine, living in the collapsing Soviet Union, they started a life together extremely poor trying to make a living through the merit of education. Moving to Israel my mom gave birth to my brother and me, and there we lived for 5 years. Speaking fluent Russian and Hebrew my family moved to California to a small apartment. I did not yet grasp the new world we were about to live in.

I remember noticing a pattern of about every 2 to 3 years moving from one house to another and me despising my parents for making me change schools and friends. Until 2006 when we finally had a two story house and my parents were content with the level of education in the neighboring schools. Because of their determination to get me to a good public school, I find the value of education to be one of the most important aspects of my life, making my high school teachers and peers a large influence in the way I think and interpret certain things. My parents are always there to support me in all my numerous activities even if they may not agree about my participation in them whether it may be my dance performances to my art shows they always find time in their busy schedule to support my dreams and aspirations. Through them I learned the importance of hard work ethics in everything that I set to accomplish. With that set of mind I am determined to make my pursuits a reality.

I am also tempted to write about my travels in great detail, because I can see my future in learning and enjoying diverse cultures, showing my engagement of trying to make a change in the world through my major of International Relations. By traveling and learning about the world, I hope to be able to affect foreign policy and interactions between different nations by trying to limit war and unnecessary violence through finding other means to resolve certain situations. Not only am I comfortable with my mixture of heritages, I now feel extremely lucky to be American, Russian, and Israeli and I hope to build my future career synthesizing more cultures. Growing up I could never tell people simply about my background in one sentence, now I cherish this attribute about myself because I am not a simplistic person. So when my mom asks me "how my day was" I can proudly say "Хорошo".

Undergraduate / Tulane personal Statement Essay- My experience in dance [2]

Thanks for helping, don't be shy to make any comments correcting my essay. Thank you

Prompt: Using the space below, please write between 250 and 500 words to describe a special interest, significant experience or achievement, or anything else that has special meaning to you or had a significant influence on you. (Tulane)

I was numb; my heart did not feel sadness nor happiness, but maybe just shock and anxiety. A few moments before, the music faded and the last flower licked the stage through the movement of my arm. The silence was only amplified by hushed weeping which was then shattered by applause showing approval and connection.

My hard work and struggles have finally paid off. My dedication and persistence helped me overcome my moments of discouragement. My mom would always tell me to try to be great at everything that I choose to do, and with that kind of work ethic in mind I have never given up on anything that I have set to do.

Dance has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember; in my earlier high school years I performed with a dance company called Stella Nova and was a part of all the school's dance conservatory performances. Even though there were moments when I was discouraged and exhausted from constant obstacles, I decided that my love for dance was too strong to stop, and without that decision I would not be able to tell my story.

For me as a performer, there is no structural way to explain how a dancer takes choreography and adapts it into her interpretation and feelings of the story. In my school we have yearly performances in which selections of seniors create their thesis. This project was a large part of my Junior year and it challenged me emotionally, physically, technically, and mentally. I was determined to make these performances my best. The challenge of the choreography and level of dance pushed me to work my hardest. My choreographer was Jenna Matus and on Christmas her mother died, I was choreographed to dance as her late mother who had cancer. I did not expect or think that it would be possible to connect to the feelings that Jenna's mom must have gone through by facing such an uncontrollable power where the world and energy of life slowly fade away. Even though I have never met Jenna's mom, she has taught me to value the special bond between people and the beauty that it offers to life. Through the tears of the audience during my solo, and the proud wet eyes of the choreographer, I understood the value of life and realized that I have grown as a person through an unforgettable experience. I will have the privilege to perform this show again at the Sharpe Hospital for Cancer patients in January 2012.

Connections found throughout the world are a gift to those who realize the importance of noticing the small beauties that they can appreciate. I have met many amazing, diverse people through this experience, and have learned to value other people's opinions. It persists to amaze me that without words or acting, dance is able to communicate to different cultures and languages something so powerful that it could make people cry, laugh, love, smile, hate, fear, and more.