Undergraduate / (how I helped my grandma become a US citizen) a good idea for my UC prompt #2? [4]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Plan:
I want to write about, how I helped my grandma become a US citizen. It took a while. She did not have the $680 to apply for citizenship. I would spend hours of my time baking cakes/brownies to sell at school to help her with the fees. I got a job which was originally to help me save up for college, but I ended up giving her a good amount of my money. Once she saved up enough money, she was scheduled for the naturalization test. I helped her study for it, and I was sure She would pass with my help, but she failed it her first time. she only had one more chance to take it, and I was determined to help her become a citizen, because she was too important to me for me to lose. She has done so much for me after all. I began to study with her for hours every night. I would speak english to her more regularly than I would speak spanish, so she would get used to the sound of the american accent. I would set up 'practice' interviews so she would be prepared for her upcoming test. I would read books to her and made her write down english sentences every night. She got a perfect score on her citizenship test and i was so proud of her, and I felt proud of myself for putting so much effort into making sure she would be a US citizen. It made me realize that i am dedicated when I want something to happen, I am hardworking , yet also selfless. Is it a good thing to talk about? My contribution in my grandma achieving her citizenship? this isnt the actual essay of course, just a plan.

Undergraduate / 'Wildlife and animals' - UC Prompt 1 [5]

I wrote this in one day back in october. I know it's REALLY BAD and I want to rewrite it completely, but first I would like it if you could give me some advice to make it better.

Personal Statement-Describe the world you come from - for example your family, community or school and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations

Animals have always been a part of my world, and fill up my earliest childhood memories. My mother's interest in caring for lost and abandoned animals inspired me initially, and I have enjoyed following in her footsteps; from helping baby hummingbirds back into their nests to rummaging through poison ivy to rescue a litter of kittens. My mother and I opened our home to homeless, and wounded, animals and cared for them for as long as they needed to heal. I soon grew accustomed to the cats sleeping in my bathtub, the sparrows perched on my houseplants, and the puppies chewing on my books.

Growing up with these creatures sparked an interest within me to learn more about them. I would spend my free time running about the children's section of the library, grabbing all of the zoology books I could carry. I read not only about the birds and other small animals in my house, but also about more exotic species in far-away locales. I tuned to the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet instead of watching Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network and became amazed by the beauty of the Earth and its inhabitants. Not only did I learn of the beauty of nature and wildlife, but also of the cruelty and disrespect that some people showed toward it (?). Although I could not prevent Bengal tigers from getting poached in India, or moon bears from being abused in China, I felt that I could make a difference in the lives of animals in my small community.

At the age of sixteen, I was finally old enough to have my dream volunteering job-working at my local animal shelter. At first my duties were menial; taking cats out of their cages, putting them in the playroom, cleaning the cages. Summer came, and most of the student volunteers left to take other jobs. At times I was the only one working at the shelter, and this is when I realized that my duties really did make a difference, for if I didn't show up frequently and consistently, the cats and dogs of the shelter would stay in their cages for days at a time. The more I volunteered, the more experience I gained. That experience allowed me to perform jobs such as becoming a Certified Cat Behaviorist which allowed me to socialize feral cats, helping rehabilitate animals like Scooter (a paraplegic puppy who would "scoot" up to you with his front legs to shower you in kisses), and--just as I had in my childhood--fostering animals too young to be at the shelter.

The shelter became a second home to me, and the animals in it, another family. My upbringing has taught me that every life, no matter how small, is significant. This knowledge has shaped me into someone who deeply cares and respects the world around me. I dream of a world where everyone can have the opportunity to appreciate the vitality of the natural world around us, much I do. It is because of my passion for the natural world that I chose to study life sciences. To study something earnestly, you must be truly passionate about the subject, and I could not love life any more strongly. This is why I know I will succeed.