Graduate / "You don't want to be a sheep in a herd", Optional Essay [2]

Dear all,

I am concerned about the write up below- does it answer the question.? facts mentioned are worth knowing for adcom?

Any information that you deem relevant to your application?

"You don't want to be a sheep in a herd", my mother said. With my big brown eyes I stared at her, waiting for an explanation. "Dear, you have the capability to be different- to stand out", she explained. Since that moment, I strive to make a difference in whatever I do. This is exemplified by my consistent academic excellence, professional achievements, continued passion for sports and involvement with community services.

During my tenure at xxx Germany, I strove to bring about a change in the nature of work outsourced to my team at the Indian subsidiary. After developing a thorough understanding of project life-cycle, I worked towards attaining higher levels of quality adherence for xxx projects. Through my continuous efforts, these projects reported a 96% reduction in the number of quality issues within two months. This exceptional improvement increased the customer's trust in my abilities to handle intricate tasks. I, therefore, played an instrumental part in setting up base for new BMW projects and in brining further business to India. Such demonstrated professional brilliance not only won me accolades but also reflected in my two subsequent promotions. Moreover, with my calm, confident manner of functioning and my receptiveness towards learning foreign languages, I not only turned a complex global workplace into a welcoming learning platform but also developed warm relationships to nurture for a lifetime.

At the age of six I had my first table tennis lesson. The passion for sports started growing, leading me to learn swimming, rock-climbing, rifle-shooting, and basketball. My continued interest in basketball won me a state championship trophy and many college tournaments. My involvement with sports taught me to be a team player, and many times, to step up to lead towards victory.

My ability to look beyond myself triggered me to volunteer for various social and environmental campaigns since the age of fourteen. This also led me to be elected as the vice-president of the environment club under which I organized anti-polythene and anti-cracker campaigns. Sustaining this inclination, I am currently involved in the organization of "Football for all" Festival.

These diverse experiences highlight my innovative thinking, ability to multitask, perseverance and sustained passions in life. My diverse experiential learning, and demonstrated commitment towards work and community, make me a suitable candidate for xxx.

Graduate / 'An engineering course work' - [SOP] [2]

Dear all,

I am not satisfied with this essay of mine but not able to pinpoint where exactly the problem lies.. Could you guys please take a look. All suggestions are welcome.

Q. Briefly assess you career progression and elaborate future plans. How will an MBA from our university help?

My parents taught me to be a thinker, allowing me to analyze the world and make informed decisions. This inculcated in me a passion towards finding pragmatic solutions to problems. An engineering course work further challenged my analytical skills and enabled me to critically analyze raw data and present objective solutions. My responsibilities at xxx revolved around project component management for the automobile giant xxx. Such a profile not only engaged my strengths from communication skills and leadership to problem solving but also allowed me to embrace an intense international career. This further grew in me a desire to function at a higher decision making level, where I could combine my technical skills with business acumen.

Upon graduating from xxx, I plan to shift my focus to strategy consulting for the automobile sector or related industry and work with global consulting firms. I hope to start as an associate consultant, where I could synthesize recommendations for specific client problems and implement the change. This would help me to build up a broad toolkit of problem-solving skills, leadership capabilities and foundational knowledge.

After three years, I would take up more leadership oriented role such as the team manager. In this role, I would assist multinational automobile companies to setup and develop businesses and to face organizational challenges in the growing Asian market. Moreover, with an experience of integrating teams in a global workplace, I would be able to develop a dedicated workforce in my team through structured mentoring. Further growing into the consulting field and building real expertise in strategy consulting, I would utilize my creative thinking to develop new approaches that can be applied to a variety of client challenges. I would take up multiple engagements over a wide client base as a partner in the firm.

My short term goals are in sync with my long term entrepreneurial aspirations. Deeply passionate about finding "that perfect" solution, I aspire to setup my own consulting firm in the future. With my field experiencing of working with the automobile industry, I would help companies to set up a stronger base in the Asian market.

Last year while working on project lifecycle planning and production control, I found my responses reactive rather than proactive due to my lack of exposure to business essentials. xxx's education, its global perspective and Asian touch will empower me to fulfill my aspirations by surmounting my current shortcomings. I particularly find xxx's flexibility in letting the students design the MBA course unique. xxx's General Management Program gives me an opportunity to combine my three areas of interest- Strategy, Technology and International Business. Courses such as management consulting, strategy formulation and strategy implementation will help me develop skills required for a successful strategy consultant career. Moreover, the Regional Study Seminar and International Business Law would help me to understand the international business environment and enhance my world wide view.

XXX offers a symbiotic learning platform, giving me the opportunity to enhance my tenacity and build a strong network, while enriching my study group with my varied experiences.

Graduate / 'stand up against the established Indian norms' - propel yourself beyond expectations [3]

Dear All,

Could you please comment on how strongly the below essay-
1. captures the reader's attention
2. answers the question asked
3. aptness of the issue

general/language comments also welcome.

Tell us about a time when you had to propel yourself beyond expectation or established norms? Why did you do it?

23 November, 5:30 P.M: Unaware that my whole world was going to fall apart, I picked up the ringing phone. The shaky voice on the other side informed me that, my father, the guiding light of my path was no more.

Still very young and engulfed by profound grief, I could have seen myself as a victim. Atleast nobody expected me to stand up against the established norms of the ritual driven Indian society, which does not allow a girl child to take the forefront during such tragedies.

I had two choices: stand aside and see distant relatives and apparent strangers dictating terms for my family or stand up for the values and beliefs that had been inculcated in me by my parents. The choice was obvious. Moreover, realizing that every emotional outburst and decision of mine would not only affect my family's present but also influence our future propelled me to take charge of the situation.

But putting shattered pieces of our lives together was not easy when meeting demands of daily living seemed monstrous. To stabilize my family emotionally and financially, I divided each passing day in small pragmatic tasks and approached these with an optimistic outlook. I not only encouraged my younger sister to chase her dreams but also reassured my mother. This helped my family to rebuild confidence and strike back at life.

When the heavy clouds of sorrow finally began to fade, I started seeing that living through hardships carry with itself a lesson, which could be used to build bridges to a better constructed future. This tragedy rigorously tested my capacity to challenge the status quo, make realistic plans, take strong decisions and manage overwhelming emotions and, eventually, emancipated me from the prosaic episodes of self doubt.

Graduate / most meaning leadership experience and how will MBA help you? [4]

Dear All,

Could you please give me your comments on the below ? Thank you..

I can still hear the applause; I can still smell the raw excitement that moment offered. Selected from over ten thousand employees, I represented my company at the prestigious National Competition for Young Managers as the team leader. The intriguing theme of the event- "Managing Organizational and Management Challenges", in addition to a strict timeline, posed an invigorating challenge for a professional with mere ten months of experience.

Making my first contact with the team, I set up a series of brainstorming sessions to define the scope of the topic and divide the tasks. However, despite a flurry of activities, one month went by with no substantial results. The team was unsuccessful in fully comprehending the requirements of the competition and the theme. This led me to rethink my activities as a team leader. After careful analysis, I noticed that not only did the team failed to relate to the task but also lacked trust in each other's capabilities.

Having identified the problem, I organized regular team meetings and instigated healthy debates on the topic. Moreover, I encouraged social mingling to develop mutual trust within the team. Such interactions helped me to build a cohesive team focused on a common goal and identify individual skills. I, then, carefully allotted the responsibilities- factoring the strengths and weaknesses of each member. By facilitating open and clear communication, I led my team to present a comprehensive view of the managerial challenges faced Indian by organizations- emerging the youngest team leader in the north zone.

This experience was meaningful not only because it provided me a platform to exhibit my leadership capabilities but also because it helped me to identify my weaknesses.

Even though I was good at motivating my team, I realized that better directive abilities would have led me to drive the follow through and results more efficiently. With BSM program and group projects, I hope to hone my directive qualities, which would be important not only for my short term consulting goals but also for my entrepreneurial dreams. Furthermore, I noted that a lack of coherent understanding of business fundamentals restricted my vision. Moreover, for a successful consultant career, I would not only need to be a good forecaster but also keep an eye out for trends across multiple fronts. The focused core curriculum would help me to strengthen my understanding of business basics and the functional courses would widen my horizons, leading me to improve my intuitive skills and vision- a pre-requisite in consulting world. This orientation would also help me to pick the right market and target customers while launching my strategy consulting firm in the future.

I am sure that MBA will challenge my assumptions, stretch my thinking and push me out of my comfort zone, while testing my managerial skills in a stimulating global environment but at the same time make this learning experience fun along the way.