Posts by clin93

clin93

Dec 5, 2011

Writing Feedback / What environment do you suggest for children to grow? Big City or Countryside? [3]

these are some of my suggestions

Currently, living in a big city is dangerous especially for children because of air pollution(not weather pollution)
Do away with this_by searching in hospitals_i think it is not correct.
Secondly_not(second of all)
More healthy_not(more healthier)

just go over your essay and make corrections where you need to do so.

clin93

Dec 5, 2011

Writing Feedback / city workers decide to live in the country. problem is with their transport system [4]

I think your question to some extent is not clear.otherwise you need to correct grammatical errors in your essay.

clin93

Dec 4, 2011

Writing Feedback / Money for students sports vs library activies [5]

You need to review your introduction because it is not clear.For example you can put it this way(this is a suggestion)_Students should not only be bookworms but they also need to actively participate in outdoor activities such as sports.

Also check the conclusion,it does not clearly show your stand

clin93

Dec 4, 2011

Writing Feedback / Government has announced that it wishes to build a military base near your community [3]

Your essay has a number of grammar and spelling mistakes which you need to correct also check your sentence construction.
what did you mean by this_presence of mine around security base_i thought you were writing about a military base and not a mine field.

just check similar mistakes and correct them.

clin93

Dec 2, 2011

Writing Feedback / SHOULD EDUCATION BE PLANNED? [3]

Planning is a recommended future course of action in light of the present situation. Planning can be applied in various sectors for example, health, administration, family and education. It is important for a government to plan for its education sector because of a number of resons. For instance education should be planned because of scarcity of resorces. Most governments have limited resources which are competed for by other sectors therefor there is need to plan for funds which are allocated for the educational sector. Planners should determine how much of the funds should be used for salaries, allowances, purchacing learing resorces amongst others.

Education should also be planned because it directly affects the economy. The quality and quantity of education offered by any country will determine the type of personel it produces. Incase a country offers its citizens quality education it will be able to produce highly qualified personel to work in various sectors of the economy and this will boost its economy. Therefore a country should ensure that it plan effectively for its education sector.

Because of the technological changes that have occured in almost every country, the is need to plan for education in such a manner that the education which a country offers its citizens accomodates such changes, is upto date and relevant to the international community.

In my opinion, education should be planned for so that the recipients get quality education which is of relevace.