faux_soup
Dec 22, 2011
faux_soup
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / NYU Supplements - Belonging and Business [3]
Just looking for any final opinions/advice before I finally submit tomorrow
Thanks in advance!! :)
1. Why NYU?
What is "belonging"? Perhaps a thin morning mist. Nearly invisible, but undeniably there. Changing your perspective, it glistens under the sunlight, glowing brilliantly. I doubt anything argues for its existence as breathtakingly.
Eagerly advancing through countless emails, message boards and brochures, I can't help but notice certain stereotypes. A "typical" student for a particular college may come off as progressive or conservative, proud or modest, pious or agnostic, theoretical or practical. This is worrisome to me. What if I don't fit the mold? Would I be deprived of the dynamic and fulfilling college community I value so highly? NYU has disposed of this notion of mine. Through observation, through experience and through intuition, I can tell that NYU is, in essence, unconditionally different. NYU takes the concept of diversity and truly stretches it, far beyond the shallow statistics of ethnic and socioeconomic distribution. It is an abstract concept, about breaking invisible barriers, candid correspondence and open-mindedness. It is about a community where everyone and anyone can feel at ease. NYU integrates this with a world class academic institution, leveraging location and unrivaled global network in order to create an enlightening, enlivening and entertaining college experience that will allow me to develop, contribute and harmonize.
So what if I don't fit the mold? At NYU, I will make my own.
2. Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.
In many ways, choosing a major is just an extension to a glaringly simple choice we make in life: what we eat. Just as we are often forced to choose between satisfying our taste buds or our love interests, we seek a balance between interest and practicality when singling out a perfect major. Every now and then, there comes along a jewel that accommodates for both. Business to me is like a healthy and tasty snack. It plays to my competitive nature, interpersonal skills, and background in mathematics and technology, which Stern's eight concentrations and over 50 specializations will surely strengthen. Living in four different countries and spending time as an exchange student in two have led me to encounter people of varying world views and has led to my lifelong passion in culture, which will coalesce beautifully with the growing importance of international business and global connections. I find Stern's International studies program is positively captivating: I would love the opportunity to revisit my old home in Hong Kong or Shenzhen to learn, grow and meet familiar faces. As a dedicated volunteer, committed brother, and someone who values the ethics of business just as much as the theory crafting, Stern is the perfect match. I can easily envision myself a part of the Stern Business Ethics Society, a place where finally, I would be able to speak my heart out.
I am a diamond in the rough; business and NYU will refine me.
Just looking for any final opinions/advice before I finally submit tomorrow
Thanks in advance!! :)
1. Why NYU?
What is "belonging"? Perhaps a thin morning mist. Nearly invisible, but undeniably there. Changing your perspective, it glistens under the sunlight, glowing brilliantly. I doubt anything argues for its existence as breathtakingly.
Eagerly advancing through countless emails, message boards and brochures, I can't help but notice certain stereotypes. A "typical" student for a particular college may come off as progressive or conservative, proud or modest, pious or agnostic, theoretical or practical. This is worrisome to me. What if I don't fit the mold? Would I be deprived of the dynamic and fulfilling college community I value so highly? NYU has disposed of this notion of mine. Through observation, through experience and through intuition, I can tell that NYU is, in essence, unconditionally different. NYU takes the concept of diversity and truly stretches it, far beyond the shallow statistics of ethnic and socioeconomic distribution. It is an abstract concept, about breaking invisible barriers, candid correspondence and open-mindedness. It is about a community where everyone and anyone can feel at ease. NYU integrates this with a world class academic institution, leveraging location and unrivaled global network in order to create an enlightening, enlivening and entertaining college experience that will allow me to develop, contribute and harmonize.
So what if I don't fit the mold? At NYU, I will make my own.
2. Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.
In many ways, choosing a major is just an extension to a glaringly simple choice we make in life: what we eat. Just as we are often forced to choose between satisfying our taste buds or our love interests, we seek a balance between interest and practicality when singling out a perfect major. Every now and then, there comes along a jewel that accommodates for both. Business to me is like a healthy and tasty snack. It plays to my competitive nature, interpersonal skills, and background in mathematics and technology, which Stern's eight concentrations and over 50 specializations will surely strengthen. Living in four different countries and spending time as an exchange student in two have led me to encounter people of varying world views and has led to my lifelong passion in culture, which will coalesce beautifully with the growing importance of international business and global connections. I find Stern's International studies program is positively captivating: I would love the opportunity to revisit my old home in Hong Kong or Shenzhen to learn, grow and meet familiar faces. As a dedicated volunteer, committed brother, and someone who values the ethics of business just as much as the theory crafting, Stern is the perfect match. I can easily envision myself a part of the Stern Business Ethics Society, a place where finally, I would be able to speak my heart out.
I am a diamond in the rough; business and NYU will refine me.
faux_soup
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / Stanford- (The God Particle) Intellectual Developmen) & (Personable) Note to Roommate [3]
For the first one, which is 12 over the character limit, may I suggest cutting part of/rewording: "The God Particle is a science book written by Leon Lederman and Dick Teresi which gives an in detail timeline of particle physics, dating from 400 BC to present day. Lederman, a Nobel Prize winning physicist, and Teresi, a fascinating science writer, describe many incredibly fascinating ideas throughout the novel". Although it probably is necessary to provide the readers with a basic understanding of your novel, you don't really have to go into much summary. They definitely want to know more about YOU then your experience/book/etc. That last sentence could probably even be scratched. "Many incredibly fascinating ideas" just doesn't really amount to much substance. My two cents
Best of luck!! :)
For the first one, which is 12 over the character limit, may I suggest cutting part of/rewording: "The God Particle is a science book written by Leon Lederman and Dick Teresi which gives an in detail timeline of particle physics, dating from 400 BC to present day. Lederman, a Nobel Prize winning physicist, and Teresi, a fascinating science writer, describe many incredibly fascinating ideas throughout the novel". Although it probably is necessary to provide the readers with a basic understanding of your novel, you don't really have to go into much summary. They definitely want to know more about YOU then your experience/book/etc. That last sentence could probably even be scratched. "Many incredibly fascinating ideas" just doesn't really amount to much substance. My two cents
Best of luck!! :)
faux_soup
Dec 22, 2011
Undergraduate / 'travel to anywhere I want' - Extracurricular Essay [25]
Very well written! Your opening captivated me right away. Flows very well, vocab is good and not overkill, and I don't see any grammar mistakes. The only thing, and I think you had this concern too, your last sentence. I don't know how you are doing with characters but my suggestion would be to scrap it, and talk/conclude with more about how books have affected YOU.
Very well written! Your opening captivated me right away. Flows very well, vocab is good and not overkill, and I don't see any grammar mistakes. The only thing, and I think you had this concern too, your last sentence. I don't know how you are doing with characters but my suggestion would be to scrap it, and talk/conclude with more about how books have affected YOU.
faux_soup
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'discount deals' - NYU - Something that intrigues you [8]
Out of Stock and Your Mileage May Vary ;)
Thanks everyone!!
Out of Stock and Your Mileage May Vary ;)
Thanks everyone!!
faux_soup
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'discount deals' - NYU - Something that intrigues you [8]
Thanks for all the help! I will take another look at the vocab and add the acronyms.
Thanks for all the help! I will take another look at the vocab and add the acronyms.
faux_soup
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'discount deals' - NYU - Something that intrigues you [8]
Hi everyone! Working on NYU supplements, any input on my essay or topic of choice would be greatly appreciated
Prompt: What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, work of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.
I am a disciple of the doctrine of discount hunting, and slick deals is my bible. I preach the gospel of promotional codes, mail in rebates, American express cashback and Amazon super saver shipping. To me, the cardinal sins are the acronyms OOS and YMMV. What do Littlest Pet Shop Hamster Playground, 12 pack hearty Progresso soup, and the third season of Fringe on blu-ray have in common? As of right now, they are all front page slickdeals, uncovered by one but available to all at bargain prices.
While certainly a haven for penny pinchers everywhere, the website is far more than a means to fatten the bankroll. Slick deals is a lifestyle choice, a social phenomenon and a testament to the connective power of the internet. It is a vibrant community, driven by passion, sharing and benevolence. It is so much, but revolves around what we never seem to have enough of.
For me, slickdeals is an outpouring of my frugality and prudence, which are inherent in my character and aspirations. It is no coincidence that some of the most successful and affluent men in the world are also some of the most frugal. Franklin, Rockefeller, Buffet: example setters. I wish to follow in their wake, and Slick deals represents my first steps.
Hi everyone! Working on NYU supplements, any input on my essay or topic of choice would be greatly appreciated
Prompt: What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, work of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.
I am a disciple of the doctrine of discount hunting, and slick deals is my bible. I preach the gospel of promotional codes, mail in rebates, American express cashback and Amazon super saver shipping. To me, the cardinal sins are the acronyms OOS and YMMV. What do Littlest Pet Shop Hamster Playground, 12 pack hearty Progresso soup, and the third season of Fringe on blu-ray have in common? As of right now, they are all front page slickdeals, uncovered by one but available to all at bargain prices.
While certainly a haven for penny pinchers everywhere, the website is far more than a means to fatten the bankroll. Slick deals is a lifestyle choice, a social phenomenon and a testament to the connective power of the internet. It is a vibrant community, driven by passion, sharing and benevolence. It is so much, but revolves around what we never seem to have enough of.
For me, slickdeals is an outpouring of my frugality and prudence, which are inherent in my character and aspirations. It is no coincidence that some of the most successful and affluent men in the world are also some of the most frugal. Franklin, Rockefeller, Buffet: example setters. I wish to follow in their wake, and Slick deals represents my first steps.
faux_soup
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'mesmerized by Duke's Economic Department' Why Duke? Trinity College Supplemental [3]
"From the academic standpoint", probably better worded as "From an academic standpoint",
other than that, your essay is very thoughtful and well written, good luck!!
I also agree, you should try to find some way to shorten it to 2 paragraphs, since it is explicitly stated in the prompt
"From the academic standpoint", probably better worded as "From an academic standpoint",
other than that, your essay is very thoughtful and well written, good luck!!
I also agree, you should try to find some way to shorten it to 2 paragraphs, since it is explicitly stated in the prompt
faux_soup
Dec 20, 2011
Undergraduate / 'from Bangladesh' + 'Sociology' + 'Life in Namibia' - NYU supplement [9]
Your writing is really good!!
If there was one thing I could say, I agree with lee. I feel like your first essay focuses too much on New York and the cityscape. Explain this statement more: "as I grew older and began looking deeper into places where I could further my education, there was no doubt in my mind that NYU was where I wanted to grow, where I wanted to return, where I belonged". Try to make it more personal.
good luck!!
Your writing is really good!!
If there was one thing I could say, I agree with lee. I feel like your first essay focuses too much on New York and the cityscape. Explain this statement more: "as I grew older and began looking deeper into places where I could further my education, there was no doubt in my mind that NYU was where I wanted to grow, where I wanted to return, where I belonged". Try to make it more personal.
good luck!!
faux_soup
Dec 8, 2011
Undergraduate / NYU Supplement - A place that intrigues you - Shenzhen [5]
Hi everyone! In the midst of my NYU supplements..
the prompt is: what intrigues you? tell us about one scientific achievement, piece of literature, work of art, method of communication, place in the world, and explain its significance to you. I'm happy with it, but I was looking for some other thoughts
thanks!
Shenzhen. A sprawling metropolis in southeast China whose population, in the short span of 2 decades, has skyrocketed to 10 million, dwarfing all major U.S. cities. An economic powerhouse whose designation as a Special Economic Zone has caused industry to blossom, overseas joint venture factories to thrive and socialist democracy to flourish. A city who, in face of a global recession, incessantly marches forward. For myself, a long time resident of suburban Massachusetts, my experience with Shenzhen was one like no other. After moving to Hong Kong, my family would frequently make the journey northeast by KCR to see my father. Compared to the small town of Shrewsbury, Shenzhen's remarkably volatile nature was mind baffling. In a furious display of mechanized succession, it seemed with every visit we would encounter taller skyscrapers, busier roads and more construction cranes. The city was a bounce house being rapidly inflated by a motorized air pump, and I was a child standing there, watching in awe. Shenzhen has become a key piece of my intellectualism today. My insatiable interest in the workings of the global economy and powerful attraction to the fickle and unpredictable has allowed me to decide. Better than any other place on this earth, Shenzhen symbolizes all of this.
Hi everyone! In the midst of my NYU supplements..
the prompt is: what intrigues you? tell us about one scientific achievement, piece of literature, work of art, method of communication, place in the world, and explain its significance to you. I'm happy with it, but I was looking for some other thoughts
thanks!
Shenzhen. A sprawling metropolis in southeast China whose population, in the short span of 2 decades, has skyrocketed to 10 million, dwarfing all major U.S. cities. An economic powerhouse whose designation as a Special Economic Zone has caused industry to blossom, overseas joint venture factories to thrive and socialist democracy to flourish. A city who, in face of a global recession, incessantly marches forward. For myself, a long time resident of suburban Massachusetts, my experience with Shenzhen was one like no other. After moving to Hong Kong, my family would frequently make the journey northeast by KCR to see my father. Compared to the small town of Shrewsbury, Shenzhen's remarkably volatile nature was mind baffling. In a furious display of mechanized succession, it seemed with every visit we would encounter taller skyscrapers, busier roads and more construction cranes. The city was a bounce house being rapidly inflated by a motorized air pump, and I was a child standing there, watching in awe. Shenzhen has become a key piece of my intellectualism today. My insatiable interest in the workings of the global economy and powerful attraction to the fickle and unpredictable has allowed me to decide. Better than any other place on this earth, Shenzhen symbolizes all of this.