Hi, this is my supplemental essay for Duke University! Any suggestions/feedback would be greatly appreciated! Also, do you think it's okay for me to have 3 paragraphs when the prompt asks for 2 paragraphs max?
Duke and I go a long way back. Go back 13 years, and you will see my brother and me trying to catch a turtle in the pond at Duke Gardens. Go back 8 years, and you will see my first public performance in the Page Auditorium. Go back 7 years, and you will see me at Hsiao-Mei Ku's recital in the Nelson Music Room. Go back 6 years... you get the point. My musical life was inextricably tied to Duke University, and I owe much of my musical success today to the inspiration I drew as a young boy from Duke's violin faculty, notably Hsiao-Mei Ku and Eric Pritchard. Professor Ku's performance of Si Nian and Xi You motivated me to expand my technical prowess, and I made great progress after working persistently to emulate her performance. I also had many lessons with Professor Pritchard, all of which left a profound mark on my violin performance. His extraordinary musicality gave me fresh interpretations, and his knowledge of chamber music was unlike any other teacher I had met. I would love to have the opportunity to attend Duke and work with my two great inspirations.
From the academic standpoint, I am mesmerized by Duke's Economic Department, because, as I have heard from current students, it teaches more than just money-it teaches the science of resources, of tradeoffs, and that is helpful in any kind of discipline. I think the broad economic curriculum at Duke is truly unique; there are even pre-med students who admit that the Economic Department has prepared them for medical school! And to find that Duke Economics offers courses that specifically teach pre-meds to make clinical decisions is remarkable. I hope that I can enter the interdisciplinary program, and bring my zeal for music and academia to pursue my lifelong goals. Granted, everyone at Duke is academically stellar, but I trust that my fervor for classical music and my artistic upbringing will bring a new element to the college community.
When I walked up Chapel Street as a boy, the Gothic architecture frightened me. Something mysterious is happening behind those doors, I would think. 10 years later, I am no longer intimidated by the buildings, but I know that what goes on, whether it is music, biology, or economics, is nothing short of amazing, nothing short of inspiring.
"From the academic standpoint", probably better worded as "From an academic standpoint",
other than that, your essay is very thoughtful and well written, good luck!!
I also agree, you should try to find some way to shorten it to 2 paragraphs, since it is explicitly stated in the prompt
