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'mesmerized by Duke's Economic Department' Why Duke? Trinity College Supplemental

kzheng 3 / 3  
Dec 19, 2011   #1
Hi, this is my supplemental essay for Duke University! Any suggestions/feedback would be greatly appreciated! Also, do you think it's okay for me to have 3 paragraphs when the prompt asks for 2 paragraphs max?

Duke and I go a long way back. Go back 13 years, and you will see my brother and me trying to catch a turtle in the pond at Duke Gardens. Go back 8 years, and you will see my first public performance in the Page Auditorium. Go back 7 years, and you will see me at Hsiao-Mei Ku's recital in the Nelson Music Room. Go back 6 years... you get the point. My musical life was inextricably tied to Duke University, and I owe much of my musical success today to the inspiration I drew as a young boy from Duke's violin faculty, notably Hsiao-Mei Ku and Eric Pritchard. Professor Ku's performance of Si Nian and Xi You motivated me to expand my technical prowess, and I made great progress after working persistently to emulate her performance. I also had many lessons with Professor Pritchard, all of which left a profound mark on my violin performance. His extraordinary musicality gave me fresh interpretations, and his knowledge of chamber music was unlike any other teacher I had met. I would love to have the opportunity to attend Duke and work with my two great inspirations.

From the academic standpoint, I am mesmerized by Duke's Economic Department, because, as I have heard from current students, it teaches more than just money-it teaches the science of resources, of tradeoffs, and that is helpful in any kind of discipline. I think the broad economic curriculum at Duke is truly unique; there are even pre-med students who admit that the Economic Department has prepared them for medical school! And to find that Duke Economics offers courses that specifically teach pre-meds to make clinical decisions is remarkable. I hope that I can enter the interdisciplinary program, and bring my zeal for music and academia to pursue my lifelong goals. Granted, everyone at Duke is academically stellar, but I trust that my fervor for classical music and my artistic upbringing will bring a new element to the college community.

When I walked up Chapel Street as a boy, the Gothic architecture frightened me. Something mysterious is happening behind those doors, I would think. 10 years later, I am no longer intimidated by the buildings, but I know that what goes on, whether it is music, biology, or economics, is nothing short of amazing, nothing short of inspiring.

tochiajiwe 1 / 3  
Dec 19, 2011   #2
I would keep it at 2. give them what they ask for.
faux_soup 3 / 7  
Dec 20, 2011   #3
"From the academic standpoint", probably better worded as "From an academic standpoint",
other than that, your essay is very thoughtful and well written, good luck!!

I also agree, you should try to find some way to shorten it to 2 paragraphs, since it is explicitly stated in the prompt

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