Unanswered [4] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by wafzy
Joined: Dec 10, 2011
Last Post: Dec 29, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 6
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wafzy   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / "Did you dye it?" - Commonapp main essay [5]

omgskl

I like how the topic is very unique =]

however, the sentences need to flow better and the ending seems a bit rushed
wafzy   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / "Ambassador" - Commonapp Activity essay for edit [4]

thanks for your suggestion! it does sound a bit better now. (and now it's at exactly 1000 characters=0)

should i change anything else? i thought my essay format was a bit weird...and didn't really have the space to explain what I do thoroughly

should i scratch this and rewrite in a different approach?
wafzy   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / "Ambassador" - Commonapp Activity essay for edit [4]

I looked at the audience, 100 elementary children; Nervously, I gripped the corner of my shirt, hands sweating. My first presentation as a Student Ambassador for Kids Help Phone, as you can see, I wasn't a born speaker or leader. To this day, I still can't believe that reserved girl would become an "Ambassador". Having faced obstacles and stress in life, I know the importance of having someone to guide you through. I want the kids to be able to seek help with this anonymous counseling line whenever they feel helpless; I want to promote some positive changes in our generation. With these believes, I stepped up, from being reluctant when speaking in public, to becoming a leader of the regional KHP Student Council, leading a group of students to plan community wide fundraising and awareness events. The experience made me confident to become a leader. Through these years, I realized, while doing something I love to promote positive changes, the passion has promoted positive growth in me.
wafzy   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / "What the....?" - Stanford roomate essay [5]

My room full of little cute things gives me a space where I can forget about all the pressures and stress that lower my spirit, so that I can recharge and go firing out again. They also remind me of my magical childhood, which I can relive - without showing the world - in my cozy room. <-------my favorite sentence

really cute essay, definitely shows one aspect of you. However, personally I think you should incorporate some other sides of your characters other than your craze on cute things
wafzy   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / "You're Lucky"-Stanford Roommate Letter-Is it too vague? [16]

no it's not vague at all.
I like how it's concise, but you've explained yourself really well
and it's humorous it attracts people's attention

personally i dont think you need to expand anything
wafzy   
Dec 10, 2011
Undergraduate / 'pretty campus pictures' - Duke supplement-why duke [5]

A teacher once told me:"I've always wondered how great your curiosity is. Every time there's something new that interest you, your eyes are widely open, with sparkles of passion. You'd always ask me these acute questions, some of which I don't even have a solution to. You'd start analyze things while trying, digging, researching for days hoping to find that explanation, anticipating for an intellectual discussion. You care so much and you want to know everything; there's no end to your ambition. High school is not enough for your needs anymore;" he paused: "you are ready to find your university." "The" university perfect for me, I thought I would never find it. Coincidentally, I found Duke. That second, I fell in love.

To be honest, it was Duke's pretty campus pictures that first caught my eye; indeed attracted, I couldn't stop but spending hours flipping through these pretty pictures: the magnificent buildings, the beautiful green, the unbeatable enthusiasm of the Blue Devils fans, the humorous touch to the words on the school website, the overall inviting and refreshing atmosphere, and absolutely everything, amazed me. These pictures created a story which I aspire: rigorous academic training, top research opportunities, world-class diversity of the student body, and most importantly, the unrivaled school spirit. Inside these pictures I see the fun and enriching life at Duke; the life that I dream to live, the challenges I wish to undertake, the energy I anticipate to share, and the fun that I want to enjoy. Duke's continuous striving to reach academic excellence, its constant seeking to progress and challenge, its innovative passion for growth and understanding perfectly accord my curiosity and ambition to connect with the world. I don't know which is greater, the passion that I possess or the energy that Duke presents; however, I know there's a mutual attraction, and that the combination of the two would be something prominent. I want to go to Duke and contribute my ardor. I want to participate in K-Ville and be the happiest camper. I want to join Duke Engage, explore the history and connect with difference civilizations. I want to meet the best people from all around the world, share our passion, celebrate our differences, and develop lifelong friendships. I want to feel the zest of the Blue Devils by joining the vivacious cheers (I may not be the one with the best "athlete gene" on the court, but I'll definitely be the loudest one on the bleachers). I want to sit in the most rigorous but lively classes and learn from the best professors whom I adore. I want to challenge, to reach, to make mistakes, to climb up from mistakes, to improve, to grow, and to succeed. I want to contribute my intellectual thoughts to Duke's dominant research projects. I want Duke to be the institution that light that sparkles of passion in my eye and turn it into the brightest blaze that brings warmth to the whole universe. I want Duke to be my home away from home, because Duke is where I belong. I am ready for Duke.

I know it's probably really bad, cuz it was a last minute thing. =[ if someone can give me some comments corrections n suggestions itd be greatly appreaciated =] thanks!!
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