mchehn
Dec 23, 2011
mchehn
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / Yale Supplement Answers--clever or whatever? [8]
Thanks! Revised:
1. What would you do with a free afternoon tomorrow?
I would create. I'd gather a host of people and run around town taking photographs, or plan out a film. We'd film water.
2. Recall a compliment you received that you especially value. What was it? From whom did it come?
My friend often tells me I look like a lion. He says it in a way that means, "You're strong. You're fierce. You're proud."
3. If you could witness one moment in history, what would it be and why?
I choose the Wright Brother's first flight. The wonder at the 200-foot flight at the time shows how much people take for granted today.
4. What do you wish you were better at being or doing?
I wish I could be more contemplative. It's easy to be spontaneous and quick of tongue, but perhaps I could flourish more if I reflected more.
5. If you were choosing students to form a Yale class, what question would you ask here that we have not?
Write a haiku about Yale.
Also, is there any feedback on the response to the "Why Yale" question? Thanks again.
Thanks! Revised:
1. What would you do with a free afternoon tomorrow?
I would create. I'd gather a host of people and run around town taking photographs, or plan out a film. We'd film water.
2. Recall a compliment you received that you especially value. What was it? From whom did it come?
My friend often tells me I look like a lion. He says it in a way that means, "You're strong. You're fierce. You're proud."
3. If you could witness one moment in history, what would it be and why?
I choose the Wright Brother's first flight. The wonder at the 200-foot flight at the time shows how much people take for granted today.
4. What do you wish you were better at being or doing?
I wish I could be more contemplative. It's easy to be spontaneous and quick of tongue, but perhaps I could flourish more if I reflected more.
5. If you were choosing students to form a Yale class, what question would you ask here that we have not?
Write a haiku about Yale.
Also, is there any feedback on the response to the "Why Yale" question? Thanks again.
mchehn
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'MISSION ACCOMPLISHED' - SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCE AND IMPACT ON YOU [6]
Probably "learned" is a better word than "learnt"...I've never really seen "learnt" being used. Also, the last sentence is worded a little strangely... maybe "I will (because it's the future) remember a fellow student's shining eyes and smile at the mission accomplished"..or something like that? Not completely sure what meaning you're trying to convey
You definitely learned a lot from your experience as the School Counselor, and this essay does encompass a lot, including both your personality as well as your school life. I feel like the last paragraph is a little broad compared to the specific anecdotes you include...it talks about psychology AND all these things you've realized (it's quite a list). Maybe you could include a sort of bridge between the last paragraph and the rest of the essay that eases the transition between the specific first part and the broad last part?
Hope that helps...
Probably "learned" is a better word than "learnt"...I've never really seen "learnt" being used. Also, the last sentence is worded a little strangely... maybe "I will (because it's the future) remember a fellow student's shining eyes and smile at the mission accomplished"..or something like that? Not completely sure what meaning you're trying to convey
You definitely learned a lot from your experience as the School Counselor, and this essay does encompass a lot, including both your personality as well as your school life. I feel like the last paragraph is a little broad compared to the specific anecdotes you include...it talks about psychology AND all these things you've realized (it's quite a list). Maybe you could include a sort of bridge between the last paragraph and the rest of the essay that eases the transition between the specific first part and the broad last part?
Hope that helps...
mchehn
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Iqbal's story' - Spanish native speaker but I am applying for a US college [10]
I also feel like you should expand more on your trip to Kenya. Your time in Kenya must have been a really special opportunity, and maybe you would be able to draw parallels between the book and your trip? (I haven't read the book.) Perhaps you've also had other experiences where your thoughts/feelings on the book affected your decisions and such.
Also, in the first part of the essay you write "I proved how mean it can be", and proved might not be the best word, since you don't talk about proving or justification of your thoughts and things like that. Maybe "saw", or "understood"..something like that?
Your essay has a great theme and shows that you really believe in commitment, which definitely is an important part of your personality. Excellent essay.
I also feel like you should expand more on your trip to Kenya. Your time in Kenya must have been a really special opportunity, and maybe you would be able to draw parallels between the book and your trip? (I haven't read the book.) Perhaps you've also had other experiences where your thoughts/feelings on the book affected your decisions and such.
Also, in the first part of the essay you write "I proved how mean it can be", and proved might not be the best word, since you don't talk about proving or justification of your thoughts and things like that. Maybe "saw", or "understood"..something like that?
Your essay has a great theme and shows that you really believe in commitment, which definitely is an important part of your personality. Excellent essay.
mchehn
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / 'friends who teased me' - The other option- Describe an activity [4]
I think instead of writing "I understood the gravity of the situation after a parents' meeting at the beginning of 5th form.", you should write "I did not understand the gravity of the situation until after a parents' meeting..."
Just my two cents...this wording format would make it more clear (well, at least for me, maybe not for others?)
I think instead of writing "I understood the gravity of the situation after a parents' meeting at the beginning of 5th form.", you should write "I did not understand the gravity of the situation until after a parents' meeting..."
Just my two cents...this wording format would make it more clear (well, at least for me, maybe not for others?)
mchehn
Dec 19, 2011
Undergraduate / Yale Supplement Answers--clever or whatever? [8]
I'm at a loss of how to write for Yale's supplement...I'd really appreciate some help!
What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? Please limit your response to the space provided. (500 char)
On a campus tour of Yale, the guide introduced us to Yale's student life. This instantly caught my attention, since not only is my high school seriously lacking in the school spirit department, I also had never heard of such a housing system at any other college (though the guide compared it to the Hogwarts' Houses). Besides this, I am encouraged by the academic attitude at Yale. "Shopping" for classes will remind me to be open and curious about other pursuits besides my current major interest.
These are 25-word responses:
1. What would you do with a free afternoon tomorrow?
I would like to spend time with friends, but seeing as I lack very many good ones, I'd be more likely to create. Just create. (well, I'm not so sure about stating that I don't have many good friends, but....yeah does this answer make sense?)
2. Recall a compliment you received that you especially value. What was it? From whom did it come?
My friend often tells me I look like a lion. (does this work? Am I supposed to explain why I especially value it?)
3. If you could witness one moment in history, what would it be and why?
I choose the Wright Brother's first flight. The wonder at the 200-foot flight at the time shows how much people take for granted today.
4. What do you wish you were better at being or doing?
I wish I was better at being less spontaneous. One example is speaking before thinking, which often has repercussions. (Is this too negative?)
5. If you were choosing students to form a Yale class, what question would you ask here that we have not?
Write a haiku about Yale.
I'm at a loss of how to write for Yale's supplement...I'd really appreciate some help!
What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? Please limit your response to the space provided. (500 char)
On a campus tour of Yale, the guide introduced us to Yale's student life. This instantly caught my attention, since not only is my high school seriously lacking in the school spirit department, I also had never heard of such a housing system at any other college (though the guide compared it to the Hogwarts' Houses). Besides this, I am encouraged by the academic attitude at Yale. "Shopping" for classes will remind me to be open and curious about other pursuits besides my current major interest.
These are 25-word responses:
1. What would you do with a free afternoon tomorrow?
I would like to spend time with friends, but seeing as I lack very many good ones, I'd be more likely to create. Just create. (well, I'm not so sure about stating that I don't have many good friends, but....yeah does this answer make sense?)
2. Recall a compliment you received that you especially value. What was it? From whom did it come?
My friend often tells me I look like a lion. (does this work? Am I supposed to explain why I especially value it?)
3. If you could witness one moment in history, what would it be and why?
I choose the Wright Brother's first flight. The wonder at the 200-foot flight at the time shows how much people take for granted today.
4. What do you wish you were better at being or doing?
I wish I was better at being less spontaneous. One example is speaking before thinking, which often has repercussions. (Is this too negative?)
5. If you were choosing students to form a Yale class, what question would you ask here that we have not?
Write a haiku about Yale.
