Undergraduate / "You're Lucky"-Stanford Roommate Letter-Is it too vague? [16]

never mind - i understood that whole sleeping reference. Keep it, it adds some witty humor to the piece !

Undergraduate / "You're Lucky"-Stanford Roommate Letter-Is it too vague? [16]

nice job man i dont think its too vague at all. but i dont really understand the thing: "you may see for a maximum of 6-7 hours, and thats only if you're watching me sleep.". other than that i think its good. i think you should change that sentence up a little. and also, you could try to get a stronger conclusion because everyone is going to be saying that sort of thing. its looking good and you only need some minor corrections.

Undergraduate / 'Bhajagovindam'- Stanford Supplement- Randomness essay [11]

Thanks dollop much for your comments!! Really, I really appreciate all the help and encouraging replies!

Undergraduate / 'Bhajagovindam'- Stanford Supplement- Randomness essay [11]

Stanford students possess an intellectual vitality. Reflect on an idea or experience that has been important to your intellectual development.

Which one do you guys think is better? which one do you guys think stanford will like more? the first one, which is new. or the second one, which i have already posted and you guys have already read. both essays accurately represent me even if they may seem contradictory. please comment!! I really need help deciding! THANKS EVERYONE!

Option 1:
If I have learned anything in eighteen years, it is that few people actually learn for sake of learning. Conversely, I tend to seek inspiration through intellectual interaction, and thus I am the person that speaks today. My initial drive to learn stems directly from the personal connection I had to the musical renditions of M.S.Subbulakshmi, master Carnatic vocalist. Her music has, and will always be, my most original source of my development. Despite the rising rigor of advanced classes the passion that MS dedicated to her work molded my definition of passion. In a way that can only be described as "indescribable," I received the spark that electrifies me to this day. M.S.Subbulakshmi's love for Carnatic music translated into a zeal that I express for my work. This alacrity extended beyond the intriguing subjects of the classroom, and came to encompass several disciplines, from chemistry and mathematics, to wildlife photography, music, and tennis. Her simple trickle of inspiration thus became my torrent of passion. My intellectual vivacity extends beyond the scope of traditional academia to brush every spectrum that I have in some way become exposed to. I believe, just as M.S.Subbulakshmi believed, that to love what you do is to live, but to simply do it, is to die. I constantly strive to feed my insatiable, omnivorous hunger. I want to learn about the hybridization of atoms, I want to understand the application of Calculus in the forehand stroke of a tennis racket. I want to breathe in the words of Emerson, and exhale the structure of Carbon Dioxide. I want to sing the hymns of M.S.Subbulakshmi, and bend light to form the image of an Amur Leopard. I want to diversify my interests, harness them under my fervor, and let the cascade sourced from M.S.Subbulakshmi do the rest.

Undergraduate / 'we could name ourselves a new rap group' - Stanford your future roommate [6]

i like the first paragraph but i think you should do something more with the others. this sounds like more of a personal statement and i think its supposed to be less specific on one event and just a casual letter discussing about you. what are your interests, likes, dislikes, pet peeves, favorite foods, talents, quirks, etc. but casual overall. your writing is strong just tone it down a notch and make it less about just one specific event

Undergraduate / 'Bhajagovindam'- Stanford Supplement- Randomness essay [11]

as far as the idea/experience issue- I was trying to go for an idea. my point is that the idea of freedom of thought/spontaneity is the catalyst for my "intellectual vitality" . i realize this is sort of a difficult concept but i wanted to do something different than the typical "life changing experience" of my childhood. mostly because i didnt really have one. this idea sort of flowed but i definitely had trouble expressing it. if you guys have any suggestions as to how i could maybe improve that i would really appreciate it ! thanks for all the other feedback!

also, the mayonnaise thing was meant to be a random statement- i threw in a sentence from spongebob squarepants hoping for some comedic relief and also to say that randomness and spontaneity can be useful. in this case that statement emphasizes my spontaneous nature and thus serves a purpose. idk, it seemed like a good idea at the time but i guess not too many people got it, which means those admissions reps at stanford are prob not gonna understand it lol

Undergraduate / 'I am a Romantic' - Stanford Letter to Future Roommate [13]

great essay! it addresses the question but maintains that not-too-serious tone. i love it and i think the beginning was hilarious! and i def learned about your personality its excellent and is polished