Undergraduate / 'Complexity is what makes me great' - Common App Essay [8]

This is what I am thinking my Common App main essay will be as of right now. The prompt was topic of choice and thank you for any suggestions you might have.

P.S. Do you think I should keep the last paragraph or is it silly.

Completing the Common Application is a rite of passage, like reaching puberty or experiencing your first crush; everyone has to do it. You're required to sum up your time on this planet in 500 words or less. It's a daunting task. If I could encapsulate my whole being in 500 words or less, I wouldn't be worth your time. I've done, seen, and felt more than 500 words could ever portray, in the last year-let alone my entire life.

Complexity is what makes me great though, the fact that I'm not simple enough to be described in 500 words. I pass out when I see blood, but have logged over 300 volunteer hours in the past year at a local retirement home. I live in the middle of the city, but I'm president of my Future Farmers of America chapter. I love to understand things, but what I love about physics is that it constantly shows me I still have so much more to learn. I have a soft voice, but I was born to lead.

It's out of these complexities that a unique being is formed. I'm not a number or a piece of paper; I can't be pinned down easily. That's what makes me interesting. That's what makes me worth your time.

Morgan Scott Peck once pleaded, "Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multidimensionally, to glory in the mystery and paradoxes of life, not to be dismayed by the multitude of causes and consequences that are inherent in each experience -- to appreciate the fact that life is complex."

Our society, myself included, has developed the need to reduce everything into simpler pieces, in the process losing the complexity that makes every object beautiful. A student is not defined by numbers, just as a politician is not defined by his or her party or an employee by his or her job. It makes it easier sometimes when we simplify and it's tempting to shrink everything into manageable pieces. Every once in a while though, we must appreciate the world for its complexities. No two snowflakes are alike for a reason. The complex version provides us with the beauty, mystery, and intrigue that the object holds, that simpler forms could never reveal.

So I ask the admissions committee to look at me as more than a collection of one-line descriptions, to appreciate all the complexities of what I have done and what I hope to accomplish, for the complex picture tells a more interesting tale than the simple one.

Undergraduate / Why I Love Physics- Common App Essay [2]

This is my main Common App essay. I don't really like it, but I don't know what to do. The prompt was topic of choice.

The little white ping pong ball gained speed as it raced down the ruler smashing into the clear plastic cup at the bottom, displacing it a couple of inches. My stubby hands reached for the plastic yellow ruler to measure the distance the collision had caused the cup to move. I still vividly remember taking the fourth grade science test, even then I knew that I liked science and was good at it.

I set down the meter stick, meticulously checking and rechecking to make sure that I had measured correctly; this was all or nothing. I set the target down at the point where I had calculated the trajectory of the marble would send it. The marble careened down the slope soaring as it hit the end of the jump. For a moment it stopped, suspended in mid-air, and then continued on its journey straight into the bull's-eye. That was a lab in tenth grade physics class, where we used the conservation of energy principles to calculate the sphere's horizontal velocity and ultimately its range.

Taking honors physics in tenth grade is what first piqued my interest in the subject and ever since then I've been in love. I feel a passion for physics, which I don't experience for other things. There's so much I love about physics.

I love that physics is practical. It helps explain why the lacrosse ball stays in my stick when I cradle. It shows why the occurrences in the world around me happen. Even though it's practical, the concepts aren't always intuitive. Physics requires that you look at the world through a different lens; you can't just figure out the theories with common sense. When I was a kid, I loved logic problems; I loved the challenge of taking all the little disjointed pieces and fashioning them into a single harmonious picture. It's the same with physics. Physics offers me a way to connect all of the seemingly disjointed pieces. Physics is about making things simpler and breaking everything down into their fundamental pieces. It's about patterns, equations, and connections.

It never ceases to amaze me. Whenever I think, I've come to achieve a basic understanding of the world around me, my Eden is shattered. I can see how some might find this frustrating, but I love it; it reminds me that the world will never run out of challenges for me to solve.

Undergraduate / 'leadership, dedication, optimism, and curiosity' - Why Stony Brook? [4]

I am applying to Stony Brook and the prompt is: Briefly state why you are considering Stony Brook University.

"Why Stony Brook?"

It's a question I've been asked a lot lately- at Christmas parties and family get-togethers, so I like to think I've gotten good at answering, mostly because I'm not faking it; I am passionate and excited about SUNY Stony Brook.

When I visited Stony Brook in the fall, I was cautiously excited. I expected to visit a nice school with a good physics' program, but I found so much more.

The turning point for me between liking Stony Brook and loving the school was meeting with Dr. Deshpande, the director of undergraduate studies for physics and astronomy.

To be honest, I was terrified about meeting him. I thought I was in for twenty-minutes of a busy professor berating me on taking time out of his busy schedule. What I discovered was a compassionate friendly role-model, who had achieved everything I hope to accomplish, and was willing to give me the insider advice.

Dr. Deshpande isn't a tour guide or admissions officer, who's paid to make the Seawolves look good, but you don't have put on a masquerade to make Stony Brook appear exceptional, because it genuinely is.

As a research university, a lot of the professors perform research. For the physics' department this means many professors hold positions at both Stony Brook and Brookhaven. With Brookhaven only 18 minutes away, Stony Brook is an aspiring elementary particle researcher's Nirvana. Stony Brook is my first choice. My leadership, dedication, optimism, and curiosity would add to Stony Brook.

Thanks for the advice.

Undergraduate / Working as a Lab Assistant at Cornell- Stony Brook Supplemental Essay [NEW]

I am applying to SUNY Stony Brook's Honor program and they ask you to respond to the prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you. I wrote about working as a lab assistant under Wakshlag in the oncology lab at Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine.

I'd taken quite a few science classes, before I worked in Dr. Wakshlag's lab, but I had never 'done' science.
In science class, you're given a lab, which 200,000 other students complete every year. In Dr. Wakshlag's lab, it was different. The research I was doing was applicable, practical, and original. It's an incredible feeling to have somebody ask you to figure out a problem, not because they know the answer and want to see if you can get it right, but because they don't know the answer and they genuinely want to see what want you find out.

In the Oncology lab, everything moved faster, but rather than scare me away, it made me want to learn more. It was more interesting and more in-depth than anything I had previously been exposed to. For the first time, I really felt challenged and I was better because of it. I would go in to the lab for seven hours a day and come home wanting to learn more; I'd look up the things that they had mentioned to try to understand them. Every day was a new opportunity and a new lesson.

My main project in the lab was to sequence the canine RUNX3 gene. Mutations in the RUNX3 gene lead to canine osteoporosis and understanding the gene's sequence is another step towards treating the disease.

It wasn't an easy task. The canine RUNX3 gene had never been sequenced before and I had to innovate and make it up as I went along. To give you an idea of how hard it was, my RNA primers had to 23-25 letters long, each letter had four possibilities, the order mattered, and I had to make a start and finish primer, so there were approximately 73 trillion combinations. I used the mouse and chimpanzee RUNX3 gene sequences as a starting point, but to say the least it was a long shot.

That's how real science is done though, it takes hundreds of trials to confirm anything and even then you might realize the phenomena you were looking for doesn't exist. Perseverance is key though; it's that one discovery that'll change the scientific communities understanding, that you have to keep fighting for.

Even though I wasn't able to sequence the gene in the couple of months I was there, I learned a lot. Like Edison reportedly stated, "I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways not to make a light bulb."

While at the lab, I learned how to run PCR and gel electrophoresis, grow bacteria cultures, prepare media, create Southern blots, design primers, use PubMed, micropipette, produce acrylamide gels, centrifuge, and weigh. More important than any of the literal skills I learned, I developed a new way of thinking and looking at problems.

Working in the lab taught me to how to self-sufficient, take initiative, and look at problems from multiple viewpoints. I didn't have somebody telling me what to do every step of the way; I had to discover for myself what the next step was. It taught me how connect all the pieces and pay attention to details. It humbled me and taught me to take meticulous and copious notes. More than anything, working in the lab taught me that research is my calling and it's what I want to pursue as a career in the future.

Thank you for any of you comments!

Undergraduate / Volunteering at a Retirement Home and How it Has Helped Me Grow [6]

Hi everyone,
I am working on my Common Application right now and I was hoping to get some feedback. I'm going to apply to Stony Brook through the Common App. Below is my response to the short answer portion of the Common App, Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

I tip-toed into his room; the squish of the rug underneath my feet echoed. He laid waiting. I wanted to see him before he left. John hadn't been at Bridges for long, but he was family. His face glowed. All the wrinkles had disappeared; the worry and stress of a lifetime melted away. He was reborn. There were no tears this time. He had lived. Blinded at 15, he became a professor in American History. Death isn't something to be afraid of. It's a part of life. The residents at Bridges led remarkable lives. There's a published calculus professor with university halls named after her and a WWI veteran who was present for the liberation of Dachau. They aren't afraid of dying; they're too preoccupied living. I help the nurse complete her daily duties, assist residents, and maintain records. The residents have shown me the possibilities are endless and have given me the gift of confidence to live my life to the fullest. It's not bad to be 17 years old with over 2000 years of wisdom behind me.

Thank you for any suggestions you might have.