Posts by seaweedsong
Joined: Dec 22, 2011 |
Last Post: Dec 28, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 3
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From: United States of America
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Displayed posts: 4
Undergraduate /
'being a American' - Common APP Achievement Essay [8]
As Theleader said, you need some variety in sentence structure. It doesn't really matter but it'll help with the flow.
Content wise, I think your story is really unique.
Going into the process of your "Americanization" might be interesting. Discuss any possible conflicts you had and how you overcame them. Overall, I think you need to make it sound more positive and more "appreciative" for your cultural roots.
Sorry if I sound harsh! I really do like you story.
Undergraduate /
"What does Community mean to you?'' Conncoll supplement. [4]
Based on my experiences with this community
, when I think of it , a community is a group of people with diverse minds,
When I
usually walk into my community I see food being passed from house to house even among people who may not
even know each other.
that well.Some suggestions :) Good Essay!
Undergraduate /
Boston University Essay - Roommate Essay [4]
It is three weeks before the start of your freshman year at BU, and you are talking to your new roommate for the first time. Since you are trying to get to know each other, what are a few things you would want to share about who you are?When I meet someone new, I want them to know how I work and how I am. I love pop culture. Any chance I get to reference something from Clueless, one of my 90's movie, I will. I am also hopelessly enamored with the Kennedy family. When I go to college, I fully intend on bringing my book and DVD collection- I give you permission to laugh at me while I sit down on a bad day and watch documentaries. Along with the Kennedy's, I am also really fond of HBO's television series such as John Adams. I can admit that I watched a couple of episodes as a fun (and productive) way to study for my AP Exam.
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I'm worried about the tone- is it too personal? And grammar help is also needed! Thanks so much! I'll look at yours if you look at mine.
Need Writing or Editing Help?