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Posts by black_pearl_310
Joined: Dec 23, 2011
Last Post: Dec 25, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: vietnam

Displayed posts: 4
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black_pearl_310   
Dec 25, 2011
Undergraduate / 'interest in architecture' + 'morals mandatory' - lehigh supplements [2]

please read my essay and give feedback. The deadline if on Jan 1, so I need your help desperately.
The second essay is limited to 250 words but I exceed it. Could your give me your advice on how to cut it short?if you have time, please check it.
[

Why essay :

Since I was young, I grew a special interest in architecture, especially the Golden Gate bridge. I loved every single detail of its structure and I also admired those who constructed it: McClintic and Charles Marshal . When I found out that those two famous architects graduated from Lehigh University, I was very surprised because at that time I did not know anything about Lehigh university. However, the article on what makes Lehigh better than Layette college captured my mind immediately. On the first look, both schools are equal to meet every detail of my dream school: good reputation, rigorous community, stunning campus, varieties of clubs and organizations and diversity. But when I took considerations between two schools, Lehigh university exceeds my expectations. It has perfect Greek life in which I can enrich my social life and hone my leadership skills. Though its size represents a feeling of a big school, Lehigh still creates an opportunity for students to have personal contacts with professors. The skilled staff at Lehigh university provides students with an equitable and stimulating environment for all, which I found most interesting about Lehigh. Overall, I strongly believe that nowhere is better than Lehigh university in which I not only fit in but also thrive in.

Supplement essay:

2. If you founded your own college or university, what topic of study would you make mandatory for all students to study and why? What would be the values and priorities of your institution and why?


The story I am going to tell happened long time ago but I still remember it clearly without missing any parts. On my examination day, Nam nudged me to imply I should showed him my results but I kept doing and pretended not to pay attention to him. At the end of the test, he warned me that he would take revenge on me for not doing according to his demand. He told everyone in my class that I was a mean girl and they should keep away from me; some of them did. I was very upset about that and very confused whether I was right or wrong. All things considered, I realized that I was through no fault of my own and the core of problem was that Nam suffered from low morals. Since then, I have learnt morals are essential in studies as well as in life. Low morals leads to academic failure as students have no idea how studies are important to their lives and how they can utilize their knowledge to help people surrounding them. Therefore, they are not motivated to succeed. People are becoming more selfish and materialistic. Without morals, they can apply their knowledge wrongly, which can do harm to others and causes consequences. Morals help people to enhance their self-esteem and develop critical thinking. Morals also teach them to give back what they received, trained them into more responsible citizens. It is a pity that most institutes exclude morals as their basic course. So if I founded my own college, I would make morals mandatory.
black_pearl_310   
Dec 24, 2011
Undergraduate / "You brought the team together" personal statement [5]

I think the idea is very good. What you should do to improve yours is just expand the last part of your essay. Tell them what you have gained from your experience and what you can do to contribute to the school you want to apply. It's just my personal opinion, hope it will help u !
black_pearl_310   
Dec 24, 2011
Undergraduate / Why and my Major - Lafayettes [5]

the essay is limited to 250 words only. but i exceed it. It's really hard for me to cut it down. Please give me your opinion and feedback about my essay. Thank you very much!

2. Lafayette offers the opportunity to create your own major or start a new club. If you could pursue either option, what would the major or club be, and why is that an interest of yours?

If Lafayette college gives me a chance to hold a club, I will definitely create an advisory club. My reason has a long story to go. It went like this: Nguyen was my classmates in grade 6. She was named " Big mama" because of overweight appearance. She had a weird style as she always wore the most trending clothes though it did not suit her. She was also a sensitive girl: once her nickname was called, she burst out in tears. Then she rushed to the toilet, at there I usually reassured her. She did stop crying but it did not last long. She kept crying every time somebody teased her. One day, during my private talk with my teacher, she asked me to help Nguyen. " but I have helped her"_ I replied. " it's just a short_term way. What she needs is someone to help her overcome her inferiority. I trust you can do this". Thanks to my teacher, I realized that calming down her was not enough, but making her confident was more important. Then I had a heart to heart conservation, in which I showed her that there are many famous people who do not have ungraceful appearance but they still succeed because of their talent. I also helped her choose the suitable outfits, letting she know that she can be beautiful in her own way and there is no need to copy other people. From that time, a shy girl had gone and was replaced by an active one, which other students complimented on her. From that event, I found out my talent in listening to other people and helping them solve them out. I am so happy to know that I am the first person my friends can turn to when they are in trouble. Life puts people under pressure: there are hundreds of things to be bothered with. At that moment, I am very willing to lend them a hand by listening to their own problems and consulting them. Therefore, an advisory club turns out to be ideal.
black_pearl_310   
Dec 23, 2011
Undergraduate / Why and my Major - Lafayettes [5]

please help me correct my essay and give me a feedback. The deadline is coming!thank you
As I picture it, my college would offer me a chance to explore my academic fields deeply and broadly and also allow me to take full advantage of its vibrant community. Lafayette stands out with its 47 interdisciplinary areas of study, 250 clubs and organization, intercollegiate sports. Lafayette college is also renowned for its championship in College Fed challenge. But what interests me most is it " Cur Nor" spirit which allows students to take risk through its boundless educational programs.
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