Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]

Posts by mwitkin
Joined: Dec 27, 2011
Last Post: Jan 15, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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Jan 15, 2012
Undergraduate / Embracing the Liberal Arts, Diversity and Environment-Why Emory [2]

1. What are the unique qualities of Emory University, and the specific school(s) to which you are applying (Emory College of Arts and Sciences, Oxford College, or both), that make you want to become part of Emory University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

Although two years ago I would have confidently said that I was a "Math and Science Guy," I have since expanded my interests. Last year, my love of numbers and problem solving was rivaled by a burgeoning interest in the humanities. As a junior, my English and History teachers unearthed my hidden appreciation of the humanities and even awarded me the 11th Grade Humanities Award. Although I now take great pleasure in looking forward to all of my classes, it presents me with a problem: I do not have a specific focus upon entering college. That is why Emory works perfectly for me because it allows me two years to decide what I want to do in an environment which embraces the liberal arts and gives me the opportunity to challenge myself in all of my areas of interest.

The Diversity Day team was thrilled by the student body's excitement and openness to a full day of discussions and activities dedicated to diversity on January 6th, Field's first Diversity Day, we realized that it was only a day. At Emory, I look forward to studying in an environment which continually embraces diversity, with over 35 clubs related to diversity and programs such as Unity Month, which seems like an awesome, elongated Diversity Day. Also, Emory, with its commitment to local produce and green buildings, shares my passion for the environment. In student government, I have attempted to lessen Field's environmental impact. I worked tirelessly with the administration to successfully install bottle-filling stations to help remove the 1,000 wasted water bottles every week. I look forward to continuing my diversity discussions, environmental activism and so much more at Emory.
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / How One Sees will Impact How One Succeeds - Cornell: College of Human Ecology [9]

I think there is a lot of great stuff here. There is still room to make it more personal though-throw in some emotions and possibly an anecdote. Remember that admission officers want to understand the applicant past the manila folder and numbers, so adding personality to these is always a plus.
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / 'contradictions in my interests' - essay to my future roommate [3]

I really like your third paragraph. That one is by far the most personal and tells the reader the most about who you are.
I am not crazy about your second paragraph. "I love everything. Every small aspect of life brings me joy and excitement for what comes next. I try to see the good in life's situations and try to remain positive through the negative. If you are ever feeling down, just know that I will always be there to cheer you up and listen. "-this sounds a little superlative. Maybe giving some examples/anecdotes could improve it.
Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / 'creating a welcoming, diverse community' - Why Columbia? [6]

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why. (1500 characters)

After 5 years of dreading my silent, parent-driven, carpool, I now look forward to the 30 minute commute to and from school with my friend, Chris. I always try to engage my peers in discussions about our classes and these car rides have become the perfect vehicle for doing so. We spend our time discussing anything from differences between the special and general relativity to The Sun Also Rises. So when my tour guide at Columbia talked about how the Core Curriculum creates these discussions, I was immediately attracted to Columbia. He said that because students all read the same material, they avidly discussed it outside of class, citing his freshman year discussions of Plato in the cafeteria. Just as my car has become an extension of the classroom, I cannot wait to join a community in which the classroom boundaries are almost nonexistent.

Ever since I joined my school's diversity club, I become fascinating with learning and exploring issues of diversity, engaging in dialogues in and out of school; despite discussing these topics, I recognize that the best way to truly learn about diversity is to learn in a diverse community. Columbia is unique from so many liberal arts institutions in that it fosters an aggregate of diverse perspectives, supporting racial, ethnic, geographic and fin ancial diversity. I like that Columbia's administration actively promotes inclusiveness of all students, engaging in progressive programs such as New York's Love Love, Hate Hate campaign which "promotes inclusion, unity, respect, and dialogue among all members of the campus community." Columbia's commitment to creating a welcoming, diverse community is something that I admire and want to join.

So this is about 200 characters over, so please give me advice on what I can cut out as well as what I can build upon to improve this.

Dec 27, 2011
Undergraduate / Why I Joined MUN (Model United Nations) EC Essay - Common app [7]

I think that this is an great foundation. But what can take this essay to the next level is talking about what you plan to do next. Right now you give this great description of this poor girl in Uganda, but your remedy for her is a Model U.N. resolution? I think that if you talk about trying to help her, and others like her, in college, that can really take this essay to the next level.