Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by andymarie
Joined: Dec 28, 2011
Last Post: Jan 24, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 11  
From: United Arab Emirates

Displayed posts: 13
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andymarie   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'mom moved to the US from the Philippines' - Why NYU? [5]

With all my work in the arts the last four years, although I don't plan to pursue a career in the arts, it would still be great to be around people who don't throw it off as just an extracurricular.<-- i don't get the idea of you putting this in.

The accepting atmosphere, cutting edge technology, and the fact that your experience is literally what you make of it are all qualities that draws a clear picture of the successful "me" at NYU.<-- have this a little more lucid.

I think you need to focus why you really want to go to NYU, you stated a couple or so...you should elaborate or strengthen your reasons a little bit more.

deadlines are near! good luck :)
andymarie   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / "The Captain" - Harvard Supplement- The prompt is write about anything [32]

- I think you should be careful when mentioning races and terms or words you use. It is a very sensitive topic.
- The phrase where your dad said something in your language ("-----America!") admission officers might not know what that means.
- Work on your conclusion and especially the last sentence, 'cause I think that will help in making the essay more remarkable.
- The line...the one plus one thing...I don't think it's going to work unless you explain it(?). I didn't quite get the connection of you stating that you're planning to take law, like it just popped out. Write a sentence or two that connects it for the sake of the essay's flow.

- Nice story though. Post another revision of your essay applying the suggestions you liked. So people can see your progress and help you more.
andymarie   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Studying in a school following the Philippine curriculum' NYU significant experience [7]

Last Proofreading :)

PLEASE READ:
- The red text are still to be revised.
- OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS, GRAMMAR CHECK, TITLE IDEAS, FEEDBACKS, Anything that would make my essay better :)
- Is the English I used "good"? Is my essay as a whole "good"?


I took the risk even though I might lose half of my everything, which is my friends I have known for twelve years; I need better education if I am aiming high. And I don't want to have a lifetime of wondering about the answers to the 'what ifs'.
andymarie   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / New York life / Middlemarch' Dorothea - NYU Supplements [6]

Her name is Dorothea and for a woman of her time she was educated beyond the point where any woman was expected to be educated, and this because she chose to want more for herself.

When Dorothea marries this man she will lose all of her money and will be looked down upon.
andymarie   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Faculties / Chemistry / Crawl to Success - NYU [5]

- Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
In 2009, I got the chance to help the needy for the first time and I felt an exceptional joy I never felt before. We gave goods and packed it in boxes ourselves, doodling on the boxes all good thoughts. The Beneficiaries are the people in the Philippines who got hit badly by hurricane Ketsana. It felt good that I made myself a promise to help the needy at least once a year and fortunately I had a chance this year to bring joy to the kids in a Day Care center in a rural place in Surallah, South Cotabato, Philippines. I want to make sure this will continue so recently I joined an organization called Volunteer in Dubai where they have an event calendar where it makes you be aware of how or in any way you can help, from walkathons to blood donations. By joining this organization I will not be only help my fellow Filipinos but all different races as well. I always knew the harsh realities but then it always feels good to abate the effects of unfortunate lives and circumstances.

SUPPLEMENTS:
1. Why NYU?
I want to join NYU because it has one of the world's most top-notch faculties. Faculty members like Joel Bernstein, Joseph Gelfand, Ingyin Zaw and so many more. I believe these people will make it possible for me to be a successful chemical engineer in the near future. I believe this will allow me to broaden my knowledge with my chosen major. Being one of the most reputed universities in the world means having a competitive environment, in terms of academics and also dealing with people from diverse backgrounds, that will encourage me to be at my best and this would challenge me to do more and better. I believe that NYU will not only nurture my intellectual skills but will also help me to become pro-active by joining the clubs they have and sports they offer which I think is rarely offered in other universities especially in the UAE. With this in effect I will have more interactions with different people and I may be able to feel the belongingness, which one has to feel in order to feel at home and enjoy life at NYU. I will be able to build a strong foundation in my future career to achieve my life long dreams. I got perseverance, the confidence and the courage to reach my goal, the intellectual ability, all I need is NYU.

2. Regardless of whether or not you have an intended major or concentration, please elaborate on an academic area of interest and how you wish to explore it at NYU's campuses in New York or Abu Dhabi or at one of our global academic centers around the world. Please share any activities or experiences you have had that have cultivated your intellectual interests leading you to choose to study at the NYU campus of your choice.

NYU, being a liberal arts university, will allow me to have hands-on experience in being an engineer. Chemistry as I see it is a bit of everything, so it would be great to know how it is applied in real life. With NYU providing exceptional education, I believe I will be able to think outside of the box and I will be able to broaden my knowledge to the extremes. This experience will help me be prepared when it comes to the real life career I will be having. Having all the knowledge and experience I will gain in NYU, hopefully I will create something history-worthy someday.

I had my first chemistry class when I was in grade 9. Things that I considered chemicals back then was Clorox and every poisonous acid I know in the house. I never knew that chemistry does not only imply to "chemicals" but also anything around us. I am amazed on how elements like carbon for example can combine in different arrangement and form completely different things. It is really amazing how things are created. It is like removing a piece of crisp from its bag and the next thing you know it became a can of soda.

3. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

People who crawled their way to success fascinate me. A film called Pursuit of Happyness is what I came across late 2009. It's about a guy who was literally struggling to keep his family alive, after being swindled and in the midst of life's crisis his wife left him leaving him and his son alone. They got into a point where they would sleep in train station toilets. But he did not give up, by luck he gets to meet a manager in a firm that gave him an opportunity to be an intern stockbroker. He is the best definition of 'from rugs to riches'. Later on got a position in the firm and then he had the chance to form a multi-million dollar brokerage firm. This film made me realize I won't go anywhere just by sitting and watching videos on YouTube. This slapped me in the face and said to me 'If you want to be somebody you have to do something'. That was the end of my happy-go-lucky days and started studying hard and from being the average Joe of the class I made it and ranked 9th out of 60 students without any tie. And then I transferred into an international school to challenge myself more. Last year I got the 8th rank out of 122 students from quite diverse backgrounds and hopefully I will continue to reach and will be able to aim higher. This also made me realize that anything is possible, with perseverance and hard work. And besides, as Ann Landers once said, nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

Open for suggestions, grammar check, and anything that would make my answers better :)
andymarie   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / Cliche image of kids holding hands under a rainbow - Yale Supplement [6]

In the question 'Why Yale?' I think both are good, I think the first one is fine. But if you'll choose the second one it would be better to have it longer?

"During the famous football game against Harvard, the Yalies don't compete in spirit against Harvard, but they compete amongst themselves with their residential colleges." <--I think you need to work on this.

'What would do with a free afternoon tomorrow?' <--I don't know, I think you need a more interesting answer for this question.
andymarie   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Studying in a school following the Philippine curriculum' NYU significant experience [7]

It is either I will go to the Philippines and head to college, or complete year eleven and twelve and have a better education. I decided to choose the latter.

I took the risk even though I might lose half of my everything, which is my friends I have known for twelve years; I need better education if I am aiming high.

Sometimes we have to take risks to be better and have better.
andymarie   
Dec 28, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Studying in a school following the Philippine curriculum' NYU significant experience [7]

Topic: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Change is hard. Studying in a school following the Philippine curriculum means you are considered a high school student at year seven and after year ten you graduate then headed to college. It is either I will go to the Philippines and head to college, or complete year eleven and twelve and have better education. I decided to choose the latter. Almost everyone chose to go to the Philippines and start college immediately after graduation. I chose to stay for a couple of reasons, first I wasn't sure what to take back then even though I passed an entrance exam in one of the most prestigious university in the Philippines. Second, even though I didn't know what to take in college, I wanted to be somebody in the future. I took the risk even though I might lose half of my everything, which is my friends I have known for twelve years; I need better education if I am aiming high. And I don't want to have a lifetime wondering about the answers of 'what ifs'.

I went to an international school. It was my first time going to a new school, after twelve years of staying in my comfort zone I finally came out. First day was nerve-wracking but after a few months I got adjusted enough for me to stay. It was not easy at first and I had a few bumps along the way, people were not so welcoming and I got ill-treated a few times. Waking up early in the morning and putting a smile on my face was the hardest thing to do. I just did what I got to do-to study well and ignore the odds. It was obviously different from where I came from, where all there is are Filipinos, I learnt how to deal with different kinds of people varying from races to personalities. And compete with different minds, which made me strive more in class.

This experience helped me a lot. It helped me grow as a person. I came to know I couldn't always please everyone. There are far more mean people out there and I have to brace myself in order to survive in the real world. I thought I was mature considering all the experiences I went through but those experiences were nothing compared to what I faced. This experience made me realize how blessed I am, it made me appreciate everything I have even more. Choosing to stay here did not only challenge me academically, it strengthened me mentally, spiritually, and my relationship with my family and friends.

People who were not so welcoming at first came to actually like me. I met a few worthy friends. I might have lost some people along the way, people I taught would stay longer, but it's fine because it thought me to move on and look forward. Acceptance is the key to change. Change, the way I see it is inevitable this is why we just have to accept it. We need to overlook the downsides, embrace the good ones and make the most out of it. Sometimes we have to take risks to be better and have better. No one knows if we are going to succeed or not, that's why we are here to take the chance.

open for suggestions, grammar check, title suggestions, anything that will improve my essay :)
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