Unanswered [17] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by soshifan
Joined: Dec 29, 2011
Last Post: Dec 31, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 8
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soshifan   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / 'A Korean minority in boarding school' - common app [5]

Being a minority in boarding school in West Virginia, I was desperate to fit somewhere. To fit in,in. I watched every TV show just to plan out my conversation for the next day.

I freely talkedtalked freely about myself instead of some TV shows.

I think my relaxed brain caused my mouth muscles to loosen up.Most importantly, I learned to relax around my friends.

VERY ENTERTAINING!!!!
soshifan   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Cycling Club / Even Better' - University of Rochester Supplements [3]

I think that these two paragraphs need to mention something about U Rochester

No where in the first paragraph is it mentioned. (i would maybe recommend you putting it in the concluding sentence after "I would excel..."

I think you should use another example for the second paragraph because it lacks a result mentioned in the prompt. ("Describe the actions you took and the result.")

Please look at my Cornell supplement. Thanks!
soshifan   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Moving away and going to college' - Stanford Roommate Letter [21]

I think that this letter really shows your personality. I like how you mentioned that you are a sports guy because stanford puts a huge emphasis on sports.

I think that this letter is great, but you can show a little more flare in your writing. Talk more like how you would talk to your friends.

From what I can comprehend, you are a sports fan, a curious, friendly, and organized person.

please help me on my cornell supplement. Thanks!
soshifan   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'the best undergraduate biology programs' - Cornell Supplement [4]

Please help me, I am so totally stressed with my supplements right now that I need to make at least this one good.
Thanks!

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (MAX 500 Words)


As the doctors cut through the skin, muscles, and tissues of the mother's belly I name them in my head one by one. Blood is rapidly flowing out of the incisions, but I surprisingly do not feel light headed. My view of blood has amazingly evolved from when I was seven years old. Through AP Biology in high school, I no longer see blood as a scary red liquid, but a source of life composed of red and white blood cells, plasma, and platelets. After the incision of the uterus and the delivery of the baby and placenta, the doctors start to sew the patient back up. As Dr. Fisher lifts up the uterus for another doctor to sew, I hear myself saying, "It looks just like the uterus in the diagram in my AP Biology textbook! This is so cool!" While the doctors are finishing up, I jump to the placenta lying in a bowl, and start to observe its structure. "There's the umbilical cord with two arteries and one vein! Here're the cotyledons!" I squeal silently as I amuse myself with this discarded organ. It is always great to learn biology from a book, but more exciting and interactive to learn about it firsthand.

My love for science started when I was 7 years old, when my class built a mini ecosystem to see how organisms coexisted with each other, and has grown ever since. As I matured, my curiosity about the world around me increased. My fears of the unknown disappeared as I became more knowledgeable. I wanted to know how and why everything happened the way they do. Thirsty for answers, I enrolled in the medicine major in high school where I took many science-related courses. The curriculum there was excellent, and gave me a strong foundation in the medical field, but this was not enough. I plan to expand my knowledge in biology and chemistry further so that one day I may pursue a career in medicine.

What interests me the most about Cornell, having one of the best undergraduate biology programs in the country, is its rich learning environment. Known for having many renowned professors and a long history of practical research, Cornell can provide me with the highest quality education and the most research opportunities that I seek to attain. I can just picture myself working with many professors in their numerous research projects during my time here at Cornell. With a 12:1 ratio of students to faculty, I believe that Cornell can focus on my educational needs and help me excel in all my academic interests from entry-level biology to biochemistry, both during and beyond college. The diverse student body in this school also allows me to share my interests with students from different backgrounds, each with their unique specialties. I am thrilled and cannot wait to be part of this lively community.
soshifan   
Dec 29, 2011
Faq, Help / Adding a plagiarism filter. [7]

I don't think that the colleges know about these websites, and I think that your application is printed out for the admissions officers to read so they probably wouldn't know that you plagiarized.

Also, there are many different admissions officers so what's the chance that the same one will read the same essay twice?

Don't worry, you are over-thinking this.

And also, shame to the people who actually plagiarize admissions essays from others.
That's the lowest thing one can do.

Please review my essays. I need help on them. Thanks!
soshifan   
Dec 29, 2011
Undergraduate / Pupil, AP biology, Biochemistry - Columbia Supplement [3]

Please help me, I still have tons of supplements to do, and I just want to make this one good. Thanks!

Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events. (1500 characters)

Throughout my life, I have been a pupil to many sage authors, each teaching life-long lessons, but out of all the books that they have written, only a few stick out more so than The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn not only provided me with an entertaining story of the adventures of a young rebellious boy, but also taught me the importance of making my own decisions and following my own path.

The novel portrays a protagonist that many can relate to: Huck, A young boy who leaves home to find his inner freedom, a life away from society and rules. His companion is a runaway slave who he illegally hides from the authorities.

Even though we do not run away from home to avoid rules or do anything illegal, Huck shows us that life is full of obstacles. In Huck's case, his obstacles are rules in society; while in ours, obstacles may be opposition from peers or difficult challenges that we face. Huck teaches us is that it's not about how many obstacles that we face, but our willingness to surpass these bumps along the road that makes us successful in the end.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn reminds me that no matter how much difficulty I face, I should never lose sight of my goal.

Please tell us what academic class has been your favorite and why. (1500 characters)
Within the first two weeks of taking the class, I fell in love with AP Biology. Before attending AP Biology, I already I knew that it was a difficult college level course, but I also knew that this class was going bring me one step closer to achieving my dream of pursuing a career in the medical field. The course was, to my expectations, difficult. Every lesson in class was about something new. Before AP Biology, I never knew that proteins folded, never heard of the Electron Transport Chain, never knew what a kinetochore was. This challenge did not turn me away like it did to some of my classmates; rather it fueled my interest in this class. I am a person who loves to find out why certain things happen and how certain things work, and AP Biology answered many of those questions for me. It made me a more knowledgeable individual and gave me a strong foundation in science. AP Biology proved helpful to me in my internship at a hospital this past summer. Many doctors were amazed as I was able to understand what they were talking about medically and communicate with them. Overall, I am glad that I took AP Biology, and it is by far my favorite class.

For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Application Data section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have interest at this time, but have not yet selected as a major interest. (1500 Characters)

My attraction to biochemistry really developed when I was a child. Fascinated at how medicine seemed to cure my sicknesses every single time, I was eager to get some answers. Little did I know that this curiosity would spark my interest in science and change my life. In school, I have always anticipated science experiments. I was amazed at how two different reactants can combine to produce a totally new product. I loved looking through a microscope and seeing another world before my eyes. On my free time, I read science articles. I quickly took interest in the articles about finding cures to certain diseases. Last summer, I was lucky enough to be able to shadow high-risk obstetricians at a hospital. During my time there, I asked many medical-related questions, went to lectures every week, and gave presentations on what I have learned, but what I remember most distinctly about my internship was how quickly the doctors were able to diagnose a patient's problem and treat it, saving both the mother's and baby's lives. Biochemistry interests me because it is the gateway to saving lives. I want to expand my knowledge of the human body and how it works so like the doctors at my internship and the researchers in the articles, I too can bring an end to the menacing diseases that haunt society.
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