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'the best undergraduate biology programs' - Cornell Supplement


soshifan 2 / 6  
Dec 30, 2011   #1
Please help me, I am so totally stressed with my supplements right now that I need to make at least this one good.
Thanks!

College of Arts and Sciences:
Describe your intellectual interests, their evolution, and what makes them exciting to you. Tell us how you will utilize the academic programs in the College of Arts and Sciences to further explore your interests, intended major, or field of study. (MAX 500 Words)


As the doctors cut through the skin, muscles, and tissues of the mother's belly I name them in my head one by one. Blood is rapidly flowing out of the incisions, but I surprisingly do not feel light headed. My view of blood has amazingly evolved from when I was seven years old. Through AP Biology in high school, I no longer see blood as a scary red liquid, but a source of life composed of red and white blood cells, plasma, and platelets. After the incision of the uterus and the delivery of the baby and placenta, the doctors start to sew the patient back up. As Dr. Fisher lifts up the uterus for another doctor to sew, I hear myself saying, "It looks just like the uterus in the diagram in my AP Biology textbook! This is so cool!" While the doctors are finishing up, I jump to the placenta lying in a bowl, and start to observe its structure. "There's the umbilical cord with two arteries and one vein! Here're the cotyledons!" I squeal silently as I amuse myself with this discarded organ. It is always great to learn biology from a book, but more exciting and interactive to learn about it firsthand.

My love for science started when I was 7 years old, when my class built a mini ecosystem to see how organisms coexisted with each other, and has grown ever since. As I matured, my curiosity about the world around me increased. My fears of the unknown disappeared as I became more knowledgeable. I wanted to know how and why everything happened the way they do. Thirsty for answers, I enrolled in the medicine major in high school where I took many science-related courses. The curriculum there was excellent, and gave me a strong foundation in the medical field, but this was not enough. I plan to expand my knowledge in biology and chemistry further so that one day I may pursue a career in medicine.

What interests me the most about Cornell, having one of the best undergraduate biology programs in the country, is its rich learning environment. Known for having many renowned professors and a long history of practical research, Cornell can provide me with the highest quality education and the most research opportunities that I seek to attain. I can just picture myself working with many professors in their numerous research projects during my time here at Cornell. With a 12:1 ratio of students to faculty, I believe that Cornell can focus on my educational needs and help me excel in all my academic interests from entry-level biology to biochemistry, both during and beyond college. The diverse student body in this school also allows me to share my interests with students from different backgrounds, each with their unique specialties. I am thrilled and cannot wait to be part of this lively community.
pjw7109 7 / 23  
Dec 30, 2011   #2
my fav part: "There's the umbilical cord with two arteries and one vein! Here're the cotyledons!" I squeal silently as I amuse myself with this discarded organ.

love the personal tone!
looks like you've done some research too!
good luck!
OP soshifan 2 / 6  
Dec 31, 2011   #3
Any grammar mistakes though?
I would appreciate it if you had the time to help :)
pringles 6 / 36  
Dec 31, 2011   #4
I wanted to know how and why everything happened the way they do

Correction: I wanted to know how and why everything happened the way it did

This is the only problem grammatically i saw


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