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Posts by NervousByNature
Joined: Dec 30, 2011
Last Post: Dec 31, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 6  

Displayed posts: 7
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NervousByNature   
Dec 31, 2011
Undergraduate / Commonapp- Picking My Eyebrows [16]

HAHAHAH that was hilarious! I started picking my eyebrows to feel the "tiny hair in between my thumb and index finger" as I read your essay. It was really unique and flowed overall! Good job and good luck!
NervousByNature   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'algebra II and trigonometry' - Common app- Elaborate on an activity [22]

I think you should work on the ending a little because from a reader's perspective, I feel like you're being forced to do the review whereas in the beginning you seemed determined. You want to convey that you're even more eager by the end, so maybe work with that. Otherwise, I could see someone who likes challenges and has the desire to pursue a goal.
NervousByNature   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Imran Khan, Pakistan' - Common app Essay - Influential person [8]

Hi hamzaobaid! I really liked the topic of your essay and how you showed that Imran Khan really had a big influence on your life. What I would change about it though is I feel like you need to put a little more of YOU in the essay, like maybe try to break it down a little more so you're not using words like "conclusively" because that makes it sound a little too formal. Also, this sentence seems a bit formal too (I'm not really understanding what you're trying to say):

It then became evident that rampant corruption and misallocation of resources was not just a cliché used for political advantage but a harsh reality. This realization has awakened my patriotism but has also induced a fierce anger over the dishonest political elite which are a major obstacle in the way of positive progress.

But then again, maybe that's what the college admissions people want; I'm not sure. So overall, I liked it because I could see how he induced different emotional feelings in you and inspired you to be all that you can!!
NervousByNature   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / "Crumbs" -- Brown, Rice, Tufts [12]

It was an awesome comparison! I loved the Hansel and Gretel sentence-- it shows how big a seemingly insignificant crumb is!! Good job!!
NervousByNature   
Dec 30, 2011
Undergraduate / 'AP English Composition and Language' - Columbia applicant -- favorite subject [3]

Can someone please give me feedback on this-- THANKS!

Every school day for the past four years, the academic class I looked forward to the most was English. I especially enjoyed AP English Composition and Language, which I took in my junior year of high school and through which I read famous works in British literature in addition to preparing for the AP test. The class was stimulating because the essays and writing assignments gave me a chance to express my ideas through words, allowing me to be creative and think outside the box. At the same time, the class was also challenging because the essays were more than just a response to a reading, which were typical of essays in my English classes in previous years. Instead, since the AP English course centered on analysis, I had to first understand the work I was reading and then break it apart to answer a given prompt.

Although the class was tough, I explored various themes and topics of different British literary masterpieces, such as the Warrior Code in Beowulf, that I otherwise would not have been exposed to. The more difficult the story or novel was, the more rewarding it was when I got a good grade on an essay pertaining to that story or novel, and I definitely improved my writing. Whereas in science and math there is only one correct answer, English gives me the opportunity to create, and I am never tired of doing that.
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