Posts by PrspectivStudnt

PrspectivStudnt

Jan 1, 2012

Undergraduate / 'Mexican culture' - Yale/ Harvard supplement [15]

I reread your essay twice and i couldn't find much errors with it other than minute ones. "My identity was clouded up by the two different cultures." It might sound better if it read like this "My identity was clouded by these two different cultures." Also, I think you can fix this sentence up a tad bit "The changes I have experience in life have been climax to this point of my life where my self-identity seems clear." But you did a fine job at answering this prompt which seems quite difficult. Good luck and thanks for the help.

PrspectivStudnt

Jan 1, 2012

Undergraduate / 'dialogue with amazing individuals' - NYU SUPPLEMENT [6]

The only mistake i see is in the last sentence. You should change "would" into "will." However, I really like how you state your reasons for choosing NYU and then supporting it with research, i'm assuming, you have done on the university. Excellent supplemental essay and i wish you the best! Thank you for also revising my essay.

PrspectivStudnt

Jan 1, 2012

Undergraduate / 'The power behind diversity' - personal statement for v-tech [2]

Prompt: What do you consider the greatest benefit(s) of a diverse educational community?

Being the key to greatness, diversity is the reason why America has evolved into the power house it is today, why technology is advancing at the speed of light, and why there is a greater knowledge of the universe surrounding us humans. The benefit of diversity has had many positive effects on the world we live in today. In an educational community, diversity has as much as a profound effect than it does anywhere else. The power behind diversity is that it brings different students with different perspectives together; this conglomeration gives students the opportunity to learn from each other and thrive as a whole. Every student has their own strengths and weaknesses which is the main evaluator for a universities level of diversity. What this means is that students with different strong points are able to assist one another's weaknesses. For example, a diligent student who is able to efficiently study might share his/her methods with other students which will equate to an overall increase in the efficacy of studying done by the student body. However, diversity is not confined to only students functioning as a team; diversity also increases the probability of innovation. With the difference of past experiences and insights, innovation is able to occur instantaneously from a diverse community, particularly one in the educational field. Diversity is an opportunity for an educational community to achieve greater heights through the variety student with distinct skills, qualities, and viewpoints.

I will help anyone who helps mine! Doesn't matter if your the fifth to help!

PrspectivStudnt

Jan 1, 2012

Undergraduate / 'a sense of love and existence' - Stanford what is worth to me [3]

It would be unwise for one to put everything he cares for in a box and carry it throughout his life. It would also be juvenile to leave the box empty, or simply to keep everything out... There were times when I decided to fill up my box with general beliefs I collected from ~~the of~~ society,... Then I realized all I have was a handful of dogmatic(dogmatic is an adj not a noun) .... But emotions are triggered by chemical components so i am frightened by the ideas of treasuring such exchange of mere substances... By making decisions that are supported.... I am informed(you should probably use a word like "aware" which fits better) of the obstacles, and acknowledge the intense time of a gifted class. i really like your ideas. Good Luck! Could you please look over mine also?

PrspectivStudnt

Dec 31, 2011

Undergraduate / (SF comic / Proactive / Jazz / class) - Yale short responses [4]

I really like your response to numbers 2 and 3. For number 5 though you should probably think more about what it takes to be a Yale student and go from there; think as if you were the person reading your college app and what their response to number 5 would be. Maybe a question about diversity, accomplishments, or past experiences. But other than that your responses are looking pretty good. Good luck! Oh and could you please look at my short personal statement?

PrspectivStudnt

Dec 31, 2011

Undergraduate / 'affordable tuition and fees' - VTech personal statement [3]

Prompt: What are the top five reasons you want to attend V-Tech?

Once I heard of the multiple attributes it had to offer, I was certain that Virginia Tech would be the ideal university to study at. With its affordable tuition and fees, Virginia Tech allows me, a student who comes from a low class family, to have an education without worrying about the inability to payoff college debt. Virginia Tech is also widely known for its outstanding engineering program which will help me strive to become an accomplished aeronautical engineer. Graduating from Virginia Tech will give me the advantage of standing out from other college graduates when I am searching for employment. Aside from the academics, the atmosphere and school pride of the students and faculty are truly appealing. The experiences my older friends have had at Virginia Tech have convinced me that studying there is very exciting and enjoyable. Similar to CD Hylton, the school where I will be graduating from, Virginia Tech has a very diverse student body; one that I would be delighted to be a part of. I am certain that I will add to the diversity at V-Tech considering my background. But the feature that makes Virginia Tech unique is the beautiful appearance of its buildings on campus that were built using "Hokie Stone" and the scenery surrounding the campus. I have always had aspirations of studying at a university like Virginia Tech where I am given the opportunity to receive an education from highly ranked academic programs while experiencing an inimitable and diverse college life.