Undergraduate / 'the ever expanding culture of the United States' - experience [7]

Answering: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Essay: Coming over to the United States and trying to adapt to the refined culture of the United States.

In the ever-expanding culture of the United States, it's natural for one to feel tempted to fit in with the rest of society. Mockery could go a long way, and when you stand out from the crowd it becomes overwhelming to avoid the negatively saturated, directed viewpoints of others.

In third grade, I was the individual who stood out. I had been living in the United States for only two months when I was thrust into the American education system. From the day I arrived on American soil in the middle of August, I recall lying in bed, staring at the midnight sky, glaring at the misshapen trees and fallen ivy formed by the natural forces of Mother Nature from my bedroom window, as I lay still in a state of fear and agony. I was afraid... scared of what others might think of my personality and my differences, and terrified of the accusation that they would express towards my religion. A month was not enough time to adapt, so let's just say for the remaining days, I felt like a boy lost in a jungle.

It was early September and the first day of school was nearing. Consumed by stress and anxiety, I spent the majority of my remaining days reading about American life. I felt as though growth required research and understanding; however I realized that I was only wasting more time. Eventually my hope was depleted. I wanted to go back and dissolve my memories into oblivion, but somewhere between the large evergreen trees and the fields where deer grazed, I lost myself to America's natural charm and became forgetful. Hypnotized by its beauty, I was instantly struck with an awakening. I realized that America was formed by a foundation of ideas; by ordinary men whom which seek to create extraordinary things. By those individuals who did not care about fitting into society and being average, but rather offering something unique from which societies could benefit. Those were the selected few that went on to earn their marks and become highly respected. Suddenly, I felt the sense of grief vanish from my thoughts and a feeling of inspiration to overwhelm me.

Finally the first day of school was here, and I felt confident. As I entered within, it felt as though I had walked into a planet where kids dominate over adults. My goal was to show the school my uniqueness. Although my plans were consistent of the many steps I would take to slowly reach my goal, it was not until an hour into my first day when suddenly was recognized by a few kids. The first action I took was joining the soccer team and it seemed as though that was all I needed. I loved playing soccer, and the kids I met that day eventually grew up to become my closest friends. Through this experience, I learned that confidence within oneself leads to true happiness within a society.

Undergraduate / 'an incentive to sprint outdoors' - risk, achievement [4]

I am answering: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
This essay is not complete, tell me everything you think that needs to be changed and check the grammar please, thank you.

As I glanced beyond the rough glass, my body gave me an incentive to sprint outdoors. What appeared as the most beautiful day of the year was quickly consumed by my extensive shift hours and careless work ethics. The shabby white colored apron hung heavily around my neck, leaving a sizable rash followed by a sense of irritation on my skin. I had been at Uncle Paul's, a restaurant owned by my uncle in Bristol, Virginia, for three hours when Shannon, the shift manager, gently grabbed my arm and said "Today, we're a little slow; why don't you take the day off." My body did not move, yet I smiled vigorously to let her know my response. Shortly after my chat with Shannon, I was outdoors, entirely free and far away from my responsibilities. As I walked towards my neighborhood, I was drawn to the vast forest which stood within a mile from my house. Twisted misshaped trees that seemed to erect from fallen leaves and wasted ivy. The smell of rotting wood oozed through the air, as I watched the last glimmer of light disappear within the forest. It was an unusual sight; however, I could not pull away. What began as a strange attraction was immediately transformed into an odd, demented idea. My life needed a kick of irregularity, and there was no better way of starting than spending some quality time deep within nature.

As I took the first step, the forest seemed to open up like castle doors. Bright colored leaves breezed swiftly over my hair and the sound of gently flowing water lured me within. With each minute the temptation grew larger, however, daylight was fading and the shadows were slowly rising to consume the forest into darkness. I began to have second thoughts, but somewhere between the large evergreen trees and the fields where deer grazed, I lost myself to its natural charm and became forgetful. Hypnotized by its beauty, I entered into the forest and began to walk my way onward, away from the main road. Suddenly, the sun began to settle down quickly, taking away the quality of my vision. I began to feel isolated; shivers crawled into my body as slowly