I am answering: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
This essay is not complete, tell me everything you think that needs to be changed and check the grammar please, thank you.
As I glanced beyond the rough glass, my body gave me an incentive to sprint outdoors. What appeared as the most beautiful day of the year was quickly consumed by my extensive shift hours and careless work ethics. The shabby white colored apron hung heavily around my neck, leaving a sizable rash followed by a sense of irritation on my skin. I had been at Uncle Paul's, a restaurant owned by my uncle in Bristol, Virginia, for three hours when Shannon, the shift manager, gently grabbed my arm and said "Today, we're a little slow; why don't you take the day off." My body did not move, yet I smiled vigorously to let her know my response. Shortly after my chat with Shannon, I was outdoors, entirely free and far away from my responsibilities. As I walked towards my neighborhood, I was drawn to the vast forest which stood within a mile from my house. Twisted misshaped trees that seemed to erect from fallen leaves and wasted ivy. The smell of rotting wood oozed through the air, as I watched the last glimmer of light disappear within the forest. It was an unusual sight; however, I could not pull away. What began as a strange attraction was immediately transformed into an odd, demented idea. My life needed a kick of irregularity, and there was no better way of starting than spending some quality time deep within nature.
As I took the first step, the forest seemed to open up like castle doors. Bright colored leaves breezed swiftly over my hair and the sound of gently flowing water lured me within. With each minute the temptation grew larger, however, daylight was fading and the shadows were slowly rising to consume the forest into darkness. I began to have second thoughts, but somewhere between the large evergreen trees and the fields where deer grazed, I lost myself to its natural charm and became forgetful. Hypnotized by its beauty, I entered into the forest and began to walk my way onward, away from the main road. Suddenly, the sun began to settle down quickly, taking away the quality of my vision. I began to feel isolated; shivers crawled into my body as slowly
