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"The Redbox & McDonald Days" (CommonApp essay)


The Quill 2 / 1  
Jan 17, 2012   #1
This essay follows the common topic in which you simply describe and explain who has influenced you? Please don't just leave praises just so you can have your essay edited in return. Actually edit mine. Thanks.

"Ha, you have to come to our graduation! It will mean the world to us," said Stefanie, glancing in the rearview mirror.
"I'll think about it, but I will definitely attend your prom," I replied optimistically as I listened to Fireworks by Katy Perry.

"You're going to our graduation, prom, and later college with us," chimed in Kaitlin from the shotgun. "Notice that was no question, but a fact. Don't worry though; we can continue our home-movie-night tradition and living off the McDonald's dollar menu."

"Okay, if I do then you can forget my rent payments and expect cleaning up my puke after partying," I said teasingly.
"Nigga, please. As long as you room with us, you can do whatever, but don't drag us into your shenanigans. 'Fight for the users,' Ha!" Stefanie retorted, amused at the last part, which is an inside-joke-movie-line from the film, Tron.

The three of us chuckled and then fell into a dazed silence. Suddenly, Kaitlin, the usual one to break the low sound waves in the atmosphere, interjected, "So...what are we doing today?"

"Let's stop by Walgreens to grab sweets and rent movies from the Redbox. We'll watch it at my place," suggested Stefanie, the typical decision-maker.

"Sure. We can finally watch The Human Centipede guys!" I added excitedly as the one to often insert jokes about what they hate to hear.

Reality smacked me awake. My eyes refocused back on the Facebook photo of three girls beaming back at me. Kaitlin Vivares stood on the far left smiling innocently and Stefanie Rosado glowed more over on the far right. They wore the same shirt that spelled Interact, our school's volunteer organization. Both girls were embraced around another girl in between them. I recalled knowing her to be the happiest person that day because it wasn't only having helped out at the Interact walk for Autism, but being able to share the experience with her two comrades. It is my pleasure to declare her as me.

I would never think life could introduce me to anyone who can break down my hard-headed walls and enlighten me culturally, educationally, and influentially as Stefanie and Kaitlin have. They are a rewarding pair of friends, who are the kind of active teenagers thinking volunteering as an idea of fun and are the unnecessary mothers for the occasional nagging about standing like a proper lady or buying less coffee to stay financially stable.

With no given thought or care in the romance zone, Stefanie and Kaitlin became my "escape route" to a better mind-setting on the important aspects of life rather than the drama-gossips I handle with other friends. We are a group of big dreamers who aren't afraid to break our vocal cords in the car or unleash an embarrassing lunatic in public. Ignoring different class year and cultural background that sets us three apart, we have grown into an odd, tightly-knitted trio living off corny movie lines, nerdy science jokes, and a shared fantasy of one day residing together in college. I may have had my share of diverse social colleagues, but I appoint Stefanie and Kaitlin as the ideal package.

These girls are credited for opening my eyes to their culture of the Filipinos and Puerto Ricans, handling most of the agenda for my future, and encouraging me with their theory that I can achieve anything because I possess potential. Together, they allowed me to see that it is easy to befriend any stranger and observe how incredible you grew alike together in mind and heart. I thought of myself as prepared in most situations and ready to take actions at times. Stefanie and Kaitlin proved me wrong and have yet to show me more.
brutal1231 2 / 2  
Jan 17, 2012   #2
Hahaha you couldnt choose a funnier topic. I think its great
michelleyixuan 1 / 11  
Jan 17, 2012   #3
This is pretty. I think you talked too much about your friend. I know the question is describe who has influenced you. But I think the person colleges definitely want to know is you. May be you should add something like how you changed after you met them.

Please check my essay. Thanks
Thors Hammer 5 / 60  
Jan 21, 2012   #4
Thanks for providing a really well written example of a narrative to me.
The last attempt at trying to write in first person fetched me a sixty. I was so upset and did not understand what my teacher was after.

Now I see... from you and the dinosaur...


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