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Posts by qadirv
Joined: Jan 17, 2012
Last Post: Jan 28, 2012
Threads: 3
Posts: 9  

From: India

Displayed posts: 12
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qadirv   
Jan 28, 2012
Writing Feedback / TV & MOVIES have a great impact on the life of modern people ; TOEFL [3]

especially television programs or movies ,hashave a great impact on the life of modern people nowadays.

The first and most influenceinfluential

Getting an overview about what happens today not only gives a positive enhancement of your temperament ,

The second things must

Might want to read it a few times before sending it
qadirv   
Jan 28, 2012
Undergraduate / 'reason I have is really low GPA' - Chemical Engineering Major Transfer Essay [2]

When I went to Manchester Community College, I took more chemistry and I found out that I loved chemistry and really could do well if I went in the field of chemistry.

While Attending Manchester Community college, I took up more chemistry Courses/classes and found out that I really loved chemistry.

I asked for a lot help in most of these class and still had difficult time with some of the class and some of them are programming and math class especially calculus I and calculus III Not sure what you are trying to say here. you might want to rephrase the sentence!

The reason I want transfer is because I have reached a point at my current college, which only let you only let's you where I may only earn an associate's degree , whereas and I want an bachelors degree, I would prefer to hold a bachelor's degree.
qadirv   
Jan 28, 2012
Graduate / 'To have several global and multinational clients' - Goals for an MBA Application [NEW]

We would like to understand your short and long-term career goals. Please describe where you see yourself in 5 years and 10 years time and identify how you see the ABC MBA program assisting in these goals. (Not to exceed 500 words)

Goals are the steps one takes to achieve their dreams. My dream is to own and run my own software company. Each goal that I have achieved has been a stepping stone to an even larger goal. For example, I took the decision to take up Computer science in school, with the aim of becoming an Engineer. Having achieved this goal, my next major goal is to own and run my own software company. To accomplish this, there are smaller goals I need to achieve first before I set out to start my company. The first would be to complete an MBA, and then to work as a consultant, to provide technology solutions to clients across the globe.

I have spent my entire professional career as a software developer, and have always deliverd results in terms of my technical expertise. While working in my current organization (ABCSoftware) I have been responsible for developing over 15 websites with content management systems, just in the first year itself; most of them being developed simultaneously. As I have grown in this organization, so have my responsibilities, towards clients, peers and my superiors. Although I still hold the position of Software developer, my responsibilities now include, project planning and scheduling, cost estimations, client coordination and also mentoring of junior developers. In spite of handling these responsibilities, I find that I have a lot to improve on some of my managerial skills like delegation. Having come from an educational background of science and technology, there are quite a few business fundamentals that I need to familiarize myself with. My immediate goal is to overcome my managerial shortcomings. Pursuing an MBA at ABC will definitely help me with that.

In 5 years' time, I see myself as a successful consultant, on the verge of a move to start his own business. The 5 years that I would spend in the industry would be sufficient experience to begin my own business. The Experiential Learning program at ABC, is something I will look forward to. Having always been a hands on learner; learning in an actual business environment would be highly advantageous for me once I graduate. Analyzing and assessing a business for its viability is fantastic opportunity for me assess the needs of my own business and what those requirements are. Additionally, it will also help me to practically implement the skills I have learnt over the past months and gain a deeper understanding of the business process. This is how I believe the ABC MBA will help me pursue my goals.

In 10 year' time, I aim to have successfully taken my business forward and have several global and multinational clients. By this time I believe I could have a workforce of around 100 people working for me, and at this stage I hope to have offices in at least three different cities in the world.

Hi,

Looking for feedabck on the end of my essay. thanks a lot. Also feedback on the overall structure and grammar appreciated.
qadirv   
Jan 20, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Dream big' - app for an exchange program [5]

kindheartedness - definately not a word.

nourished my heart with compassion and kindheartedness , sensationsFeelings you'll never learnunderstand from books

One after-school activity that has particularly inspired me

You might want to elaborate on the organisations, as I have never heard of them. Hopefully the poeple responsible for your exchange know what those organisations are, what it means to be a member, and what your responsibilities as a member are.

Thanks for your help as well !!!!
qadirv   
Jan 20, 2012
Research Papers / I S U on Divorce, any corrections ? [10]

This website is provides accurate information on the ramifications of falling behind in support payments,

Together they offer the full spectrum of legal services andwith consistent standards of quality.

The site is de-videddivided into sections each with information relating to frequently asked question,

Hi Perry, Could not help you much with the content, I'm not very familiar with research papers. I just spotted some grammatical errors, and thought I'd bring it to your notice.
qadirv   
Jan 19, 2012
Graduate / 'Leaping over red-tape' - Speech-Language Pathology grad school personal statement. [3]

Texas as an advertising major and was visiting my sister as part of my sum

Upon gaining my assistant license, I have worked in home healthcare and have had the opportunity to work for an amazing school district. ( Is this current or in the past. it sounds like u did this and are noe doing something else. )

Otherwise a very nice essay!!!!
qadirv   
Jan 19, 2012
Undergraduate / 'who could memorize the most and reproduce it' - something not found on your resume. [5]

Tell us something about yourself that we would not find on your resumé. (Not to exceed 500 words)

Some of my most intense learning periods in life have been that of failure. Failure is something that I have learnt how to handle, and most importantly overcome. One of the major failures I've had to overcome is the second year of my Undergraduate degree.

Having just arrived back from the USA, I was excited with the prospect of learning even more in my higher education. I had taken up courses such as Advanced Placement Biology, Organic Chemistry and Pre- Calculus as subjects. For example, In Biology, we studied 3 generations of fruit flies and marked out the genetic traits that were passed from parents to children. Not only did we come up conclusive results, our findings mirrored that of the scientific community. We had even isolated the DNA of an onion. Being exposed to experiments such as these made learning a joy. Learning Hands on made everything seem so simple and uncomplicated.

Now back in India, the competition had increased ten- fold as compared to the USA, and I had not realized it. Understanding concepts just wasn't good enough. It was down to who could memorize the most and reproduce it on the paper. Turning in assignments and participating well in class gave you no points. It was all or none in the examination. Having forgotten what it was like when I left school, I did poorly in my 11th and 12th grades. The lack of practical experimentation did me no favors. I continued studying in the same way in my first year of engineering. I was devastated by the results. I had to make up for some of my first year courses in the second year, and that's when it hit me. I wasn't delivering or getting results. I was learning, yes, but getting results, No. This was the time I had to start cramming for my exams. It wasn't easy to change. By the end of my second year, I was almost making up for 2 semesters worth of exams. This was the proverbial do or die moment for me. I don't remember much about what I did differently; it all just seemed like a blur. I even attempted the last two exams in spite of running a high fever.

After the completion of the exams, there was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The results really didn't matter at that point. The fact that they were over was a huge burden lifted off of me. Ironically I didn't anticipate the results. After resting for what seemed like eternity, I started analyzing the reasons as to why I didn't do well earlier. Even though I was one of the better students in school, the American way of studying had shown me that studying could really be fun. The mistake I made was that I expected it to be the same when I got back to India. At least I now know that in spite of adverse conditions, I can still put in efforts and come out on top.

and btw I did pass my final year with a first class, after this whole fiasco above.

I am not looking for grammatical corrections or anything like that. Would appreciate if I could get feedback, whether the topic is something and Admissions commitee might be interested in hearing about. If not then I'm going to re do this whole essay from scratch.

Also let me know if i could twist this in another way like, focusing more on the "lack of hands on experience, rather than the learning methodologies."

Let me know if I sound like i'm finding an excuse, because that's not what i want to do.
qadirv   
Jan 19, 2012
Writing Feedback / An Essay about the "The End of Growth" [2]

. A huge proportion of the current global population would probably starve to death within a short time if crude

if crude oil production would be completely ceased by tomorrow

Food production rate ( food trabnsportation is different from food production rate)... how is this impacted ?? Explain

price recent years is a sign that we reached alreadyhave already reached a plateau of oil production

And it is getting ... Avoid starting sentence with "and". Try to rephrase the whole sentence as something seems out of place, but cant really put my finger on it.
qadirv   
Jan 19, 2012
Letters / Resume Cover Letter For MBA applications [3]

Thanks susan,

Your comments really lifted my spirits. Was looking through the profiles of current students and was a feeling a bit down :D
qadirv   
Jan 19, 2012
Undergraduate / <Breaking Ground> [Transfer Admission - Common App Essay] [4]

Chasing a dream can be an exhilarating experience. However, holding onto that dream in testing times can be exhausting. .... that could be a good first line. It says the same thing, just moved the words around a bit.

I have read your essay, and you are right, there are quite a few grammatical errors. However, Inserting articles in the right places would solve over 90% of your errors.

For example. Getting rid of shackles of examination-oriented education Getting rid of the shackles of an examination-oriented education

best of luck !!
qadirv   
Jan 19, 2012
Letters / Resume Cover Letter For MBA applications [3]

This is the cover letter to my Resume while applying to BSchools - I am not sure if this would be against forum rules, but I was hoping for a feedback of any kind!

Thanks in advance

To Members of the Admissions Committee,
The first feature of the ABC University MBA that appealed to me was the one year program. Being one of the best schools, with a one year program, ABC University is at the top of my list for my MBA applications. After a bit more research, I learned about the team based learning system utilized at ABC University. As a student, I have preferred learning hands on rather than memorizing notes and textbooks. This has helped me make up my mind about applying to ABC Universityfor the Full Time MBA Course.

I have participated in two programs, where I have had the opportunity to spend 1 year abroad. During these years abroad, I have interacted with many wonderful and interesting people from different parts of the world, and learned new languages. I expect the same out of my MBA experience; to share and exchange ideas and information, academically as well as culturally. This is an experience that I believe that the ABC University MBA will fulfill.

The accompanying application will provide details about the following:
- GMAT score of 690
- Over 3 years of experience in the IT Sector including a year of international experience
- Strong quantitative and analytical skills.
- Member of Mensa India.
- My experiences of being a foreign exchange student.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you.
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