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Posts by robust
Joined: Feb 16, 2012
Last Post: Feb 20, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  

From: China

Displayed posts: 6
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robust   
Feb 20, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Better a job with more vacation time but a low salary' - essay [3]

a job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time
Admittedly, a job with more vacation time but a low salary can not satisfy our desire to the luxury, and may make us less competitive and more sluggish. However, more vacation time make it possible for us to enhance the relationship with families and friends, improve the work efficiency and keep healthy.

Firstly, the relationship between us and families and friends will be much closer when we have more time to accompany them. On one hand, spending more time with parents and have a chalk with them,enjoying a sunshine afternoon, they may feel less lonely and we can get some good advices from them at the same time. As for children, they always encounter some trouble and confusion. Then we are there waiting for helping them and encourage them to make a right choice. The gap is bridged gradually. On the other hand, spending some time with our friends,such as taking part in some parties, commenting the latest news ,talking about the weather and etc, we will have a joy day. The relationship will become intimate naturally. On the contrary, if we work too much time, because of the work pressures, we lose temper easily. It destroys the harmony of family and hurt our friends' emotion. Thus, leaving more vacation time for us to handle the relationship well is a wisdom choice.

The advantage above alone, however, may not fully show the more vacation time is better than less vacation time. The work efficiency is increased is another advantage that more vacation time can bring us. On the vacation time, we can have a trip to experience the different culture and learn the advanced technology. During the journey, our horizon will be broadened and our knowledge will be updated. In a relative less intensive atmosphere, it is likely to stimulate our creativity and inspiration. These changes all improve our work efficiency. Without vacation time, our brain will be full of ideas that are out of the date. Just like an old saying: only work no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Although the two advantages I mentioned above are convincing, perhaps the primary one is benefit of our physical and mental health. Not only can we have time to cook a nutritious and delicious meal for ourselves but can do a regular exercise, say swimming, playing basketball, doing yoga and etc which boost our immunity. In addition, we have time to do something we really interested. It makes us keep a relaxed and delighted mood. Nevertheless, we will feel tired and tedious if we work too long. We can't get enough rest time even can't have a regular sleep. In order to have more working time, people always eating in a hurry or just eating fast food. It increases the possibility of getting stomach and intestinal problems.

From what has been discussed above, I think it would be better to choose a job with more vacation time but a low salary.
robust   
Feb 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'The advantages of exam out ways its disadvantages' - Help for ielts essay [3]

The benefits of testing are various. Firstly, the justice of tests can't be denied, tests provide a fair stage for students to perform. Additionally, the pressure from exams can stimulate students to study hard. Lastly, it can remedy the deficiency of knowledge system. Howevere, the three arguments you mentioned above are similar, and i don't understand why exams bring students together and help them to learn the essence of team work , you should give specific explainations.

some grammar mistakes: The administrationadministrations at schools need to think seriously
Exams producesproduce a state of terror that forces children to study.
robust   
Feb 17, 2012
Writing Feedback / Young people in today are less dependent on their parents than in the past. [3]

Your three reasons are quite convincing, but the article lacks comparision. I mean that you should add more information to illustrate that why people in the last are more dependent on their parents, you can get a higher score and express yourself well through these comparision.

Contemporarily,the reasons why the youth are more independent than in the past,which may,firstly is the education they received.In addition,they have to be more independent because of their parents'busy work.Moreover,due to the advanced technology,the youth are likely to solve their problems through the Internet instead of asking their parents.are various, namely, the education they received, their parents'busy work and the advanced technology
robust   
Feb 16, 2012
Writing Feedback / do you agree that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits? [7]

do you agree that advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits?
The majority of people contend that advertising is the thumb criminal to be blamed, just for the simple reason that it lead to unhealthy eating habits. As far as I am concerned, an accumulating number of reasons are real triggers to bad eating habits and advertising is absolutely not the biggest one, namely, the great pressure from heavy work load; the mislead from fashionable trend; and the emotional depress from frustration... ...

The ever-change society comes with busy life style, which decrease limited time of entertainment and create an atmosphere of high pressure, thus, teenagers and youths don't have any time to do exercise and prone to have a bad appetite. The great pressure makes people tired both physical and psychological. When go back home from company, they don't have energy and mood to prepare a balanced and nutritional dinner. What's more, to improve working efficiency, white-collars always take fast food as their best choice because having a good meal may consume a lot of treasure time, while the fast food is more convenient and time-saving. With great pressure; tense working schedule and lacking of exercise, terrible eating habits are formed easily.

Apart from the reason mentioned along, the misleading from fashion is also a convinced reason. As everyone knows, superstars and idols generally possess a boned sense body especially in female. This phenomenon form an ideology in their groupies that skin and bones is the fashion trend that should be followed. Therefore, a sea of children and youths try to losing weight by all kind of ways, say, keeping diet; taking drugs and eating low energy food only. However, the fans ignore the bad influence on their bodies, for instance, malnutrition; weak immunity and feeble body.

Challenge and adversity are unavoidable in our daily life, such as an end of a relationship, fail to get promotion or fail to pass an important examination. Some pessimistic and sentimental people may feel frustrate and lack the brave to challenge the difficulties. Consequently, the common way to remove the annoyed feeling is drinking over dose alcohol, and eating snacks without limited. By the paralysis of alcohol and the pleasure from delicious snacks, people forget the cruel reality temporarily. However, this method has no merits but many demerits, to illustrate, difficulties and problems can't be resolved radically and we may suffer severe diseases say, alcohol liver, obesity and hypertension.

To sum these up, we can definitely consider that unhealthy eating habits are result from various factors, advertising is definitely not the most important one.
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