Writing Feedback / 'children workforce has become popular' - essay help [2]

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

In many developing countries, children workforce has become popular. Many people argue that adult should not encourage children to work by paying them. In my view, this issue need to consider carefully bacause the arguments both for and against.

One of the main reason why it is wrong ro employ children for paid work is that children have right to play and enjoy, moreover, their biggest duty at this age is studying and ,make their careers bring into the field of their choice. Furthermore, children are not old enough as well as health enough for working like elder. Besiders, at this age children have not been aware of the risk when they are working . As a result, they can be injured or meet with an accident, even they can become victims of acts of violence.

However, children should be encouraged to do something slightly by paying them. Firstly, working help children to improve their health , likewise their knowledge and experiences which are useful for them in the future. Secondly, elder can teach children about taking responsibility through giving a small money for them in order to they feel more excited and enthusiastic for works.

To conclude, employing children have more against than for, therefore, adults should consider carefully when educating children by paid work. In my opinion, children can be encouraged to do part-time jobs or help their parents to do housework.

Writing Feedback / 'Childhood obesity has many bad effects on society' - essay [3]

topic: childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main courses and effects of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

Nowadays, childhood obesity has become an epidemic in all over the world. This essay will consider the problem of obesity and outlline possible solutions.

To begin with, in point of fact the reason of obesity are not difficult to understand. Firstly, people are eating more and more unhealthy food, namely fast-foods which contain a large percentage of calories. It is because children feel junk-foods are more appertizing than fresh foods cooked at home. Moreover, many parents become so busy that they do not have time to cook . Secondly, there are short of space for children to play . In addition, children nowadays have too many exercises to do at home so they so not have much time to play. This leads to watching TV and playing computer game a lot. Thirdly, fast-food industry has developed dramatically in many countries. In fact, there are more and more fast- food joint in everywhere. Furthermore, particular in Western cultures are often very high in fat.

Obesity have many bad effects on society . First of all, overweight children can get many serious dieases such as heart disease, diabetes or even cancer. It can also leads to an increase of stress in school for fat children when they become object of cruel jokes, consequently, overweight children are always unconfident in themselves.

As we have seen, there are number of ways to reduce obesity. One of the most effective method is that society ,school and family should take responsibility for educating about mental health of healthy life style for children so as to they have knowledge about the risk of obesity.

In short, the main causes of childhood obesity is bad diet and less active. This leads to considerable damage about health in the long term. In my view, children should be encouraged to eat healthy foods and do exercise frequently.

Writing Feedback / 'fulfilment is main factor which make people become happy' - IELTS exam [NEW]

Topic: Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness.

people always desire a happy life. It is often said:" Happiness is not a destination, it is the method of life" , however, nobody can define it exactly. In fact, happiness is created by many factors.

To begin with, there is a tendency to believe that fulfilment is main factor which make people become happy. Others think that they will fell happy when they achieve success, their ambition or have high social position. Practically, many successful persons still have not found happiness in their life. Hence, there is no doubt that happiness depends on our view of life. One of the most important element to form happiness is that our way of looking at life . An optimist always lives with posotive attitude, therefore, he will fell happy even when he have to cope with many failures in his life. The third main factor is satisfaction. In my opinion, if people please with what they have, they will feel happy.

In brief, each person fin happiness with their way. Happiness is not clear aim to achieve easily. However, three factors above can be considered to be the most important for achieving happiness.