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Posts by loandinh
Joined: Apr 25, 2012
Last Post: May 13, 2012
Threads: 4
Posts: 4  

From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 8
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loandinh   
May 13, 2012
Writing Feedback / financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program [2]

Finance is an issue relating to all people during their lives. Every of us has to make financial decision every day in many daily activities. As a result, there is one question that has been raised for ages: when is the right time to start teaching children to manage and use money. Some people believe that government should take financial education into school curricula, but some disagree with this idea.

To begin with, parents think that if children are taught about money too early, they will be obsessed with money. That could result in valuing everything at a particular amount of money. In addition, they may talk about money all the time at home, at school and in public places. Gradually children become money-minded ones, which negatively affects their life in the future.

By contrast, beginning learning financial education from the early age helps children understand the important value of money. That leads them to use it reasonably. Money is an indispensable part in the society, but someone can become the slave of money if they can't master it. As being taught about money, children will be instructed how to spend money in the right way as well as how to plan future expenditure well in advance. Furthermore, thanks to money lessons, they may know how hard their parents earn a living. Because the world economy is going down now, making money is not an easy way. Thus, children who realize their parents' difficulties might love parents more and save cash instead of using it wastefully.

In conclusion, financial education has both pros and cons. However, the advantages are overweight the disadvantages. In my opinion, whether it becomes a school program or not, parents should teach their children money lessons for future positive effects.
loandinh   
May 13, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Chance to change life?' - Going overseas for university study [2]

most of Vietnamese students who chose to continue study=> continue studying abroad have got better jobs than the ones at the local university=> universities . In addition, students can study with modern laboratories, reading=> read a large of valuable resources in libraries and trained => be trainedby the professions with highly expertise => with highly professional expertise . Moreover, this is an easy way to access new cultures and new lifestyles. Thus, it is clears => clear why many people prefer to study abroad.

Another problem, culture differences between two countries => another problem is the culture differences between two countries.
In conclusion,studying abroad is a big opportunity for many people to chance=> change their life.

There are many spelling mistakes in your essay. All in all, the structure is original, your ideas are good.
good luck next time.
loandinh   
May 7, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'False awareness' - Dieting can better or ruin one's health completely [2]

Dieting can change a person's life for the better or ruin one's health completely. What is your opinion?
According to recent reports made by WHO, over one billion adults worldwide are overweight and this rate is growing rapidly. Thus, dieting is considered the best method to lose weight and to be healthier if it is carried out correctly. On the other hand, it can damage one's health slowly without recognizing.

Firstly, a good dieting program can bring in not only good shape but also healthier eating habit. In doctors' views, dieting is eating a lot of fruit, vegetables to provide the body with vitamin A, vitamin C and other necessary nutrition. In addition, regular exercising is an indispensable part to be fit. As a result, the body absorbs enough essential nutrients to grow healthily. Moreover, you are able to avoid some health problems like heart attack, hypertension or diabetes.

By contrast, because of false awareness, instead of having a balanced diet, some people go on a diet wrongly that leads to ruin their health. For instance, they skip breakfast and have only two meals a day in order to decrease the amount of calories taking in the body. Nevertheless, they will be hungrier and eat more at lunchtime. Additionally, too hungry stomach can seriously harm the health. Furthermore, to slim down, it is sure that people must exercise hard. However, people who have the hope of losing weight quickly are abusing exercising. They don't know that calories can be removed out of the body by daily activities such as walking, working, etc. They spend all day being at the gym, doing vigorous exercises. This result in burning all energy of the body, which makes it exhausted and injured.

In short, dieting is good for health in general, but a reasonable diet program is important, too. Following a qualified diet can lead to good shape and good health. Consequently, when deciding to go on a diet, you should refer health care materials or doctors' advices.
loandinh   
Apr 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / education system to the development of a country [3]

Topic: some people say that education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Education is considered a certain ladder for everybody to climb up to prosperity. From the poor to the rich, according to parents' conception, children are forced to study in the early ages. Consequently, it has been increasingly recognized that the development of a country is only contributed by education.

To begin with, a good education system can supply a source of skilled and qualified employees to the working forces, which play critical roles to the economy growth. They are crucial strength to a stable improvement of a country. For instance, every year in the United States there are over 500,000 students earning a master's degree. They present at all careers in the society. As time passes, they are experienced and become educated workforces, which bring in development for this country.

By contrast, education is not the only vital contributor to the growth of a nation. There are some other factors that are indispensable. First of all, policies of development and management of the government critically affect to the prosperity of a country. For example, after joining WTO, Vietnam has carried out opening policies. The tariff barriers were removed, so goods are imported and exported easily via countries. In addition, Vietnam has attracted a large amount of foreign investment cash flow, estimated 11 billion USD in 2011, which brings profits to companies, increases amount of taxes paid for the government and also create more jobs for workers.

Furthermore, economy growth is based on not only domestic policies but also international relationship. A country that has good diplomacy can get benefits to both politic and economy. To illustrate, Cuba has been sanctioned since 1962 by the US. Because America is a powerful country in the world, many other nations don't maintain relationship with Cuba. As a result, the economy in this nation has risen so slowly for decades.

In conclusion, the development of a country is contributed by many factors, such as foreign relationship, policies, etc. However, we can't deny a very important role of education to the improvement of a country. Consequently, the governments need to take more care to raise the standard of education so that it can be the most effective.
loandinh   
Apr 27, 2012
Writing Feedback / 'Music is a great way of communication' - my essay [6]

Music is a great way of communication and people all over the world listen to the music of other nations ,which I will mention bellow two options. => in my opinion, there is a problem here. You said: " which I will mention bellow two options", so what are your options? You should state these two options. => Music is a great way of communication and people all over the world listen to music not only of their nations but also of other ones. So why is music so popular? The reason is the relaxation and cheer that music brings in.

One more point, in your essay you didn't focus on the topic, which is about comparing traditional and international music. i just see that you wrote some advantages of traditional music.

regards,
loandinh   
Apr 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / IELTS - Full time employed men & women should share house hold chores evenly [3]

i think your introduction is good. However, there are some problems in the body.
This is a Situation essay. In the body, there are usually two paragraphs that state the reasons leading to this situation.
(1) Both men and women have to earn a living for the family.
(2) Children and family are their responsibilities.
loandinh   
Apr 25, 2012
Writing Feedback / The advantages of globalization are still superior to disadvantages? [NEW]

Topic: even though globalization affects the world's economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.
Some people say that the world now is flat instead of spherical. This means the process of globalization is taking place, which gradually removes political and geographical barriers and connects nations and people all around the world all together. Above all other fields, economy is under the influence of globalization most. In addition to positive effects that globalization is bringing, it also has negative side we can't push aside.

To begin with, globalization brings in so many advantages that nobody can deny. Firstly, the strength of nations is brought into play via globalization. Every country in every part of the world has its own economic power. Consequently, globalization forces nations to focus more on their strong fields to compete effectively with each other. In particular, India is considered the most powerful Silicon Valley with the forces of leading information technology engineers in the world at present. Thanks to globalization, other nations can buy and apply the newest technology of India or hire the best human resources there. As a result, India gets profits of thousands billion dollars a year. Secondly, the activities of import and export between nations are much easier than ever before. For instance, after joining WTO, Vietnam has been carrying out opening policies such as reducing tariffs on import and export commodities, attracting investment or removing tax barriers. Thus, customers can use foreign high quality products even though they are in Vietnam. In a word, the world economy is gaining a lot of positive effects of globalizations. However, the process of globalization brings both pros and cons.

As mentioned above, when the position of nations' strength are called into play in the global market, a severe competitive market is simultaneously created. The improvement of each nation is different, so the developed countries are much more advantageous than under-developed and developing countries in the world market. Thus, the poor nations can't compete equally to the rich ones, which have advanced technology and quality working staffs. For example, although Vietnam exports catfish to America market, these products are called "basa fish" instead of catfish with the reason of being afraid of confusing Vietnamese fish and domestic fish in the US. This results to remarkable decreasing profits for Vietnamese exporters.

Last but not least, due to the different abilities of competition, the developed countries always lead the market which makes them, having been rich, now be richer day by day. On the other hand, the poor may be getting richer, but the rich are getting richer at even much faster rate. Eventually, the gap between the poor and the rich is getting much wider. For example, although globalization has been taking place for decades, the under-developed countries in some places of Africa are still full of poverty and hunger while the US and other European countries are always the leaders of the market for years.

In conclusion, although globalization brings both advantages and disadvantages, the advantages are still superior to disadvantages. Thanks to globalization, the world economy is boosting, which bring benefits to all nations in spite of the different rate of influence.
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