Writing Feedback /
'change the world?' - What would you tell your founding fathers prompt? [104]
can you give me an idea of what I would get out of a 100 point scale I really don't know how to revise this essay and what your guidelines mean. I think it is pretty good, but I see what you mean. Can you give me some more examples?
You shouldn't depend solely on my opinions of your paper, and it's unnecessary to quantify the awesomeness of your essay.
also, I was thinking that the Statue of Liberty emphasizes freedom, right? Furthermore, our founding fathers emphasized the importance of freedom through the bill of rights
that is a connection right? I thought the connection was implied.
It's true that the Statue of Liberty symbolizes freedom and prosperity, but you didn't note its connection to the founding fathers. How did the founding fathers enter your mind as you gazed at the Statue of Liberty? Point is, what is the connective relationship between the two? The reader may not pick up on what was intentionally implied by the writer.
can you show me what you mean by adding contributions. I think you mean the Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence, etc
Essay titled #1 did an adequate job of doing this.
Do you think the statements between the paragraphs are rhetorical? Also, do you think my way of communicating is okay?
Whether you decide to use rhetorical questions or stylistically repetitive statements, everything should at least be consistent throughout the essay. I like your voice in this essay.
I have another essay written according to your guidelines. It is not finished, but I think it is better. Can you which of the two essays I have below are better? I personally like the second one, but the first one better follows your guidelines.
Essay #1 is much better. It has dates, places, and names that the previous essay lacked. In a way, adding such fine details strengthens your essay. Two of the guidelines are "Knowledge of Theme' and "Clarity of Ideas," and providing such information conveys both insight and research. (Your ideas can be more easily understood.)