Writing Feedback / Should cell phones or pagers be allowed in class? [3]

What do you think? Should cell phones or pagers be allowed in class?

Some teachers believe that cell phones and beepers should be prohibited from school, whereas others think children need them. It is a controversial question whether mobile phones and pagers should be banned in class. In my view, I suppose that children had better not use such means of communication because they may disrupt children's classroom and break their concerntration. In this essay, I will analyze my point of view.

One of the problems with cell phones and pagers is that they can be a major distraction. for example, there has an important class and someone's cell phone ringing in the middle of the class. It is even worse if the people start talking. This is why some teachers try to ban cell phones and pagers from school. They said that the devices disrupt their classroom and moreover, break students'concerntration. Students who have their own cell phones will be care more about it. They really enjoy applications of their mobile phone such as music, video, wifi and the like. They want to keep contact with their friends everywhere and everywhen. Even they use their cell phone when they are in class. It becomes worse if students use cell phones or pagers to cheat on exam, or if their ringtone go off during the test, this can really affect to their mark after all.

On the other hand, some parents suppose that their kids need cell phones or pagers. They have to be able to communicate their parents, especially emergency. Using cell phones is necessary and it is unfair to banning them. However, I think that students should keep their cell phones in their locker and check massage after classes. That way they can still keep in touch with their parents and friends and the important thing is that they do not have distraction in learning.

To sum up, it is necessary for students to keep in touch with their parents and friends by using cell phones or pagers. However, I believe that students should use their own cell phone in the correct way to avoid from being distracted. That way they can really get the highest result in their studying.

please help me with my writing style, grammar and vocabulary, thank all for you help!!!

Writing Feedback / Building a new factory near community (away from the local people) [2]

Hi, I have written a new ielts essay, about 250 words. Could you help me to correct it: vocabulary. grammar, style... Thank you so so much :D

'A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position'

Building a large factory near my community has advantages as well as disadvantages. In my opinion, I think that a factory should not be build near resident. For several reason which I mention below, I will focus on analyzing my point of view.

On the one hand, building a new factory brings many advantages, such as service developing, community facilities renovated, road-rebuilding and the like. The young can have more chances to take part in job market. Economy will develop rapidly. However, it could be cause many disadvantages. Contractor needs land to build a new factory, and they can buy the residents' land at high cost. As s result of this, farmers lose land to cultivate, so they have no other jobs to do. It can also lead to many social evils which are very dangerous to society.

On the other hand, I suppose that a new factory will not be a good condition to my neighbor. First of all, factories often bring pollution. there are a lot of exhaust gas and wastewater discharged from the factory. they dirty the local air and water. The second one which I am not agreed with building a new fatory near my neighbourhood is that factory makes noise. It will cause the local traffics jam heavily, and raise air pollution. All these will not make our life happier and heathier in my community.

To sum up. I do not think it would be rational builing new factory near my neighbourhood because this can bring more disadvantages than advantages, especially air pollution. From my point of view all factories should be built far from the people 's community since they can be really hamful to the locals' health

Writing Feedback / what cause some students to cheat in their exams [5]

Nowadays, the problem of cheating in exam, or academic dishonesty as some colleges and high schools refer to it, is not a new problem in Vietnam and the other countries. While the demand for educated labour is getting higher and higher, there are fewer workers who can meet these needs. This problem may origin from the students' ability to cheat during exams. A question was asked: What cause some students to cheat on exams? In my opinion, there are three main reasons for cheating.

First of all, the main reason which leads students to cheat on the tests is that they want to have good grades. Most of students are under pressure from their family, their friends and their teachers... They are afraid that, if they gets bad marks, their parents will complain them, their friends will look down on and laugh at them. They imagine a dark future, with no good jobs, no good life. On the other hand, if they see their classmates get high mark, they want that fame, too. So they cheat as well as they hope. As the result/ therefore these pressures unintentionally make students value their good marks much more than their own knowledge

Having no ability for doing the exams is the second reason that cause some students cheating. From one side, students don't have their own self-confidences, some cannot do the exams because they are too difficult for them, and some students believe that they are not smart enough to pass the exams. Instead of studying hard, paying attention to classes, reviewing lessons, and doing exercises, they try to cheat in exams. On the other side, many students don't have enough time for reviewing, perhaps they get ill, they must take care of their grandparents and several different reasons. That can be sympathize, but I think that students should dispose their time in a rational way.

The final reason why some students cheat on their exam is because they get lack of self-respect. Students with high self-respect will never cheat. They feel really embarrassed by cheating. Instead of this, they try to review the lessons as best as thay can. So they get high grades thanks to their own knowledge. In contrast, students with low self-respect don't feel ashamed of cheating on the tests. To get good marks, they cheat as much as they possible. They do not feel anything wrong, and only think about the result that they can get if the teacher find out his cheating.

In conclusion, there are many reasons for students to cheat. Being under pressure for eloquent scores, having no ability for doing exams and the lack of self-respect are the contributing factors to cheating in exams. In the future, I hope the awareness of students about no cheating during the test will be raised, thanks to this, our society which is based on workers, who are educated and having their own knowledge would develop fully.

Please correct and give me your comments about the content, vocabulary, grammmar, organization and mechanics of this essay. Any suggestions will be also appreciated. Thanks for your concern!