This is my first Essay and I need to improve writing skill! So help me.
Topic: Young people without work experience are hardly to find a suitable jobs. Gorvements encounrage employers to use young people when they need. Should agree or disagree?
Thank to the support of governments, employers are possible to generate work opportunities for young people.The encouragerment completely brings benefits both to employers and young worker.
To commence with, two extensive advantages young people received from companies are having job experience and less pressure on finding a jobs. Nowadays, seldom do young people get an appropriate work which are pressumble to indentify long time with. Consequently, that demand of employers lead more working chances, make condition to confirm the scholastic knowledge. Beyond confirmation there were further that new workers also additionally learn more work awareness during the process of practicing what they have ever been uneducated at school.That reality job understanding helps young people to relize which job is flexible with them,makes their adjustable decision.
Viewing from employers aspect, government encouraging also effect them to reach facility. On the ground of satisfaction about the human resource, that youth own active and creative spirit,are fairy large group. On the other hand, albeit wasting time to train new worker are feasible to be a disadvantage, that their scholartic awareness necessarily still store, practice it in task what longtime workers are possible to lose. Equally significant, enhancement to use young laborer helps to improve the temporatly unemployment situation incrasing in numerous countries.
The facts of the matter therefore seem clear, only by scholartic economy inspection, motivation employers to use young people counterbalance national economy. It is the same recognition to inspect from society. In sum, by dint of advantages, the encouragement of governments about enhancing young people work is necessary to support in countries.
you should write the introduction longer and give your opinion 'agree or disagree'. moreover i think you should not use 'V-ing' to begin a paragraph
Thank to the support of governments, employers are possible to generate work opportunities for young people..
Young people are able to get their job in a large number of companies because of the government' boost.
The encouragerment completely brings benefits both to employers and young worker
illogical. Encouragement can not do that. It is better to paraphrase this sentence.
I think, that you have some problems with words order. You should improve your grammar skills.
Good luck!
To commence with, two extensive advantages that young people received from companies are having job experience and less pressure on finding a jobs . Nowadays, seldom do young people get an appropriate work(it should be "get a job". "Get a work" doesn't sound right) which areispressumble to indentify long time with=> revise this sentence. I did get what you mean, but you didn't make yourself clear enough. Pay attention to the spelling Consequently, that demand of employers leadsto more working chances, make condition to confirm the scholastic knowledge=> what do you mean? . Beyond confirmation there were further that new workers also additionally(use either also or additionally) learn more work awareness during the process of practicing what they have ever been uneducated at school.That reality job understanding helps young people to relize(spelling)realise which job is flexible withsuitable for them and be able to makestheir adjustablethe right decision.
I suggest you work more on your grammar to express the ideas more clearly. Also, work on vocab, use the dictionary to make sure you use them with the right meanings. And don't make speliing mistakes. It confuses the readers when they have to guess what you mean by that word.
Best
Thank so much for your advices! I will learn more and more to improve my skill!
Hi everybody!
Who can tell me more about words order in my essay? I want to fix it but I don't know how.Thanks so much, everybody!
What do you mean by words order?
If I get it right, you used too long sentences to express more than 1 idea, so that it confuses the reader. I suggest you write shorter and more simple sentences to make yourself clear. This can also help reduce your grammar mistakes, as you can focus more on controling the use of words instead of trying to put so many words in 1 sentence, which might even puzzle yourself.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Best
Hi April April!
That 's it, your advice is what I need.Thank you so so much!
