Undergraduate / NYU short answer (diversity is critical to my future education) [13]

I don't know if the grammer is all ok...please help me..

New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

I personally value diversity as a critical element of my future education. I believe that people can grow emotionally through human interaction. Therefore, I wish to share my heritage and to introduce students to the dynamic Korean culture such as dramas and music, which will be interesting and exciting. Exchanging diverse culture, I believe, will enrich the nuances of people's ideas and beliefs. It could be truly a remarkable program, particularly in a dynamic city like New York.

Undergraduate / How is my intro (aspects about GW)? [3]

There are many great aspects about GW. But why me and why GW? And why am I applying for the school? Ever since I was little, when I was full of curiosity and always asked many questions about causality, or whenever I was happy or unhappy, my grandfather told me that "The Lord works in a mysterious way." or simply "Things happen for a reason, and there is no coincidence."

Like many other applicants, I can write many sentences or descriptions why I am the perfect candidate and what kind of contributions I will make for GW. However, I would like to make honest statements. Sometimes, an ordinary day's decision can have life altering consequences. In Asia, we call it divine intervention or destiny. I just have this hunch or good feeling that GW will be an important four years of my life. Not only am I confident that life in GW will help me quickly expand my educational horizons along with the appreciation of the diversity, but also I believe it is a place where I can fully realize my potential and creativity. Therefore, even though my test scores and GPAs might not meet your requirements due to my foreign backgrounds, I have strong convictions in that at GW I can fully develop and even excel at a faster pace.

According to Kent School's (my current school) graduates who went to GW, many of them say that the benefits of the education they receive extend far beyond the classroom. Finally, the tour of the school was what gave me a permanent impression of GW. The campus has furthered my interest at GW through not only its location in the city of Washington DC, but also through the appearance of the campus itself. The campus environment provided a pleasing scene to the eye. Although people would often point out that there is no real campus at GW, the luxurious and innovative classroom buildings and the city that surrounds GW, to me, stood out amongst top ranked universities. I still remember my friend telling me that, "In GW, you can push yourself to the limit if you want to excel, and the support will be there. All you need is to dare and to work really hard."

Dan, my friend, who was very pleased by my interest in school, told me that GW gives students a lot of opportunities to participate in internships before going to graduate school. Then for a moment, I imagined working in a huge company imagining one day I will be a real business leader of my generation.

Since I am still a senior, my understandings of the world and university life could be superficial and do not fully reflect the future lying ahead. Nevertheless, I always welcomed new challenges and was quick to adapt to new surroundings. From my perspective, I have recognized that GW was emblematic of a community of caring educators. I am confident that GW's exceptional course offerings and opportunities for research in economics studies, as well as its ethic of personal care for its students, provide the best possible environment in which I can thrive as a student and a great human being.

Undergraduate / Lehigh (grammar + structure) [4]

Do you think there are ways to improve?

As you researched and visited colleges and universities, why did you decide to apply to Lehigh? Please give specific reasons. What contributions will you make during your time at Lehigh?

I initially became interested in Lehigh University through the prestigious reputation it holds as one of the finest academic institutions in the nation. Since early childhood, I had heard many times about Lehigh University whenever I would hear of the best colleges in the United States. Then by the end of my junior year at High school when I began to research diverse universities, I found Lehigh University to be one of the most fascinating ones. Education at Lehigh is personal, combining the intimacy of liberal arts college and the intellectual power of a large research university.

Not only the academic, there are wide variety of organizations on campus which will allow me to pursue my nonacademic interests, such as community service. Lehigh University will also help me develop new, lasting friendships based on similar service interests. Also, the campus has furthered my interest at Lehigh University through not only its location in the city of Bethlehem, but also through the appearance of the campus itself. The campus environment provides a pleasing scene to the eye. Lastly, Lehigh's vibrant campus life offers so many social activities from 155 clubs and organization, 25 intercollegiate sports and other club programs. As such, I would love to be a part of this prestigious institution. Without a doubt, I believe I will gain prolific education while enjoying the college experience.

At Lehigh I will continue to volunteer for community service. Also I will do my best to bring the school diversity. Given my international background, I believe I can contribute positive aspects about the school.

I know my essay structure is bad and I don't know how i should fix it.

Can someone please help me?

Undergraduate / Rochester supplement (different points of view) [4]

1. Rochester students represent many different points of view. Each student constructs an independent study and research plan. Describe what you will contribute to Rochester's diversity of ideas, experiences, and identities. If you can, incorporate a positive past experience where you chose your own learning path, or a negative experience where you wanted to exercise more independence.

For any foreign students coming to the States, it is difficult to adapt new environment. I am still a young man naïve and unsophisticated. However, I have tolerance and patience to understand others given my international background and willing to participate in many communities to share my perspectives and contribute to diversity. It is my aspiration to become more independent in academic fields so that I can learn via trial and tribulations while I want to spend more time with new friends to further broaden my perspectives.

2. What makes the University of Rochester a good fit for you? In answering, identify your sources of information, including any conversations you've had with Rochester faculty, staff, students, or alumni.

I believe University of Rochester has a high academic reputation. The institution has a solely student-based curriculum. The school also offers students to take as many courses as they wish regardless of what major they take. In addition, "take five program" offers students to take another year after the fourth year without any charge so they can spend additional time studying at Rochester.

In economics major, which I wish to participate in, has a famous professor such as Steven Landsburg, who has pertained prolific experience of studying in the field of economics. Without a doubt, I believe University of Rochester will provide me more than enough opportunity to thrive as a down to earth economist.

Undergraduate / NYU short answers (family trait, NYU activity, talent show, NYU program) [5]

1. Describe a trait or characteristic that has been passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect of yourself.

A trait that has been passed onto me by my family is ambition. It was not inherently passed down,ut was rather cultivated through experiences. Although there have been numerous failures in my life, I never failed to carry ambition along with me. Ambition is a catalyst for which it drives me to work even harder and extract my potential. It is a great mentor and motivator.

2. New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

I personally value community service as a critical element of my future education. I believe that people can grow emotionally through human interaction. Therefore at NYU, I believe OUTREACH will be the best fit because it not only helps new students connect to New York's eclectic community service scenes, but also acts as a catalyst for which people develop new and everlasting friendships based on similar service interests. It is truly a remarkable program, particularly in a dynamic city like New York.

3. You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose?

I would sing Champion, which is a famous song in Korea. When I go sing with friends at karaoke, an integral part of Korean social fabric, this song is always at the top of my list. This song is special, moreover, in that it helped to change my personality. I was always the last person to volunteer for singing because I was once timid and introverted. However this song, believe it or not, gave be a dramatic boost in confidence as I am completely energized by the catchy melody.

4. Please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or NYU school/ college, and what interests you most about your intended discipline.

I would like to major in Economics at NYU in order to build a strong academic foundation. Indeed, I believe that economics and its applications are necessary for sustainable success in business. When I realized that NYU provides excellent curricula in economics and offers many small classes with a small student-teacher ratio, I knew I had found my first-choice school. Also, as a result of the strong education, students often find an internship and career opportunities on Wall Street following graduation.

Undergraduate / Why Carnegie (economics essay) [9]

can someone please read over my essay?

I still remember newspaper headlines such as "Devastating Great Depression of the Century" and "Almost Irrevocable Economy" in Dec. '97. Korea, along with a few other nations, faced IMF regulation as it declared bankruptcy. Many firms and corporations had to close down, and consequently, many lost their jobs and even ended their lives in despair. All of a sudden, numerous people I knew lost their jobs and houses. Some had to depend on government aids, which were still not sufficient to sustain their daily lives. This tragedy lasted more than two years and millions of people had to suffer.

Gradually, my concerns about the economic depression have been accumulating since the year 1997. At some point in middle school, I began to realize the important roles of professional business leaders who could overcome such debacles. I felt an obligation to be one of them when I grow up so that people around me do not have to repeat the misfortune and devastation they had gone through already.

As a businessman, my father has broadened my knowledge of economics and business. Therefore, early on, I read numerous biographies of famous business leaders such as Chung Chu Young (founder of Hyundai Group), Bill Gates, Victor Zarnowitz etc. Each of them was a great contributor to the well-being of society. From their life stories, I envisioned myself as an influential economist for the next generation

Among the business leaders, Victor Zarnowitz appeals to me the most. His Theory and History Behind Business Cycles truly inspired me to look forward to my own path. He emphasizes the necessity of experiences and insight to become a successful businessman. His theories provide me an understanding of why Korea had to suffer the IMF era. Many Korean business leaders had myopic visions and were not prepared for the worst case scenarios. For instance, CEO of Ssangyong founded a motorcycle plant with the wishful prediction that the market would expand. However, Ssangyong failed to recognize the modern design trend and customers' need. As a result, it had to shut down and thousands of workers lost their job.

I look forward to studying at college to enhance my understandings of economic activities with liberal education. I believe that Carnegie Mellon University has an excellent curriculum that would broaden my perspectives on the short term and long term effects on economy and business cycles. I am still young and unsophisticated. Nevertheless, I have always loved academic challenges and am willing to study diligently while making great friends. Someday, it is my personal wish to become a prudent and down to earth economist who can explain and possibly prevent economic crisis by enlightening the public.