Writing Feedback / The bicycle advice from my father [5]

Hi, the prompt is about the best advice I have taken in my life and how it affected my life. I am really worried about my grammar errors and sentences that don't even make sense. If you guys could look those up for me, I would really appreciate it :)

An old Thai saying goes that "if you are a very heedful person, you are good but will never succeed." Based on the proverb, people have to know how to take risks sometimes in their lives. My father, who enjoys risky things, used to talk about this saying a lot when I was young. He has organized several venture businesses and became successful for a bit, but he also has experienced severe failing later. However, he always told me about his belief: a person can grow up only by facing fear confidently. I couldn't quite understand the value of taking a risk because I was a coward who sought to be safe rather than challenging. By the time I went into middle school, my father bought a bicycle to teach me how to ride it because I abhorred even thinking about riding a bike. Yes, I was that timid. However, my intimidated mind changed into a brave one by my father's bike advice, which is "when losing balance, try to make turns with your body to the direction you are falling off."

The small advice, which is an obvious fact in some ways, became the most significant guide over the rest of my life. In other words, it was the most important advice that I received in my life. I, who was a coward, didn't agree with his advice at first and handled the thing in the opposite way. If I lost balance to left, I turned to right, which apparently led me to fall down and injure myself. However as I kept falling off, my father didn't do anything but stare at me coldly. Agitated by toppling over too much, I decided to take his advice just in case. Marvelously, it worked out and I was now able to balance when riding a bicycle. At that moment, my father reached and had me ride on his back. When we arrived at home, he put some antiseptic on my grazed skin and told me I would do a great work in the future.

Through my bike experience, I finally realized the true meaning of facing fear. If I have a problem, I face it right away even though it's hard and risky. Had I lost this attitude, I wouldn't have been able to adjust to living in a new country and speaking a different language. I definitely had a hard time overcoming cultural difference at the first time I came to the U.S. For example, a Korean doesn't look straightly to someone who is trying to give a speech because it's considered to be rude. On the other hand, Americans keep making eye contacts to see if they understand each other correctly. It took me about 5 months to finally understand this whole thing, having hard time what to do when talking to people who try to inform me about some rule. Also, using American bathroom was a real hard one. A Korean household's bathroom has a drain on the floor, so even though people pour water all over the floor, the water goes down through the drain; then the people don't have to worry about all the mess on the floor. Obviously, it isn't like that in America, and I had quite difficulty managing not to spill water on floor in my host family's house.

As I faced some of troubles like those two, I thought of the bike experience. It really encouraged me to confidently go through and solve the problems. If my host parents expected me to do something, I did a job twice as great as that. When some of my American classmates wanted to talk to me, I looked right forward to them, even too awkwardly in the eye. In this way, as a result of my "so much" effort, I am 100 percent adjusted to American environment and even when I go back to Korea now, people around me say that I have become very much Americanized. To that extent, the little bike advice my dad gave ultimately affects me until now. I appreciate the advice and my father.

Undergraduate / 'killing two birds...' - How I overcame financial difficulty over my life [4]

Hi guys! I really need to work on some of the grammar things down there. I also want to know about sentenced that don't make sense at all.. Thank you!

According to a British research, 68% of the world's successful venture businessmen come from impoverished households. This proves costly youth education expense doesn't really matter, which I have always agreed with. That's why I sack a costless host family in America. The host family I found on the Internet was actually quite overwhelming to adjust when I lived with them. A part of reasons was that I didn't pay any money, causing financial difficulty to them. However, through the experience with the family, I learned how to overcome obstacles I faced throughout my high school career in America.

The family members in themselves were nice, but the environment in the house bothered me. Located on outskirts, the house was small, I slept in an office room, neighbors were not wholesome, and my unclear-headed host mother wanted me to open windows in winter. The fact that the children have committed serious crimes even scared me. Those issues were too harsh for a young international student who just came from the other side of the world. Awkwardness also existed in the household between my host parents and me since I didn't pay for hosting although they volunteered to do it for free. However, I never gave up my faith in the family since they were willing to have me in their house. Reminding me of the British statistic helped too. With challenging spirit, I tried to respect house rules, their expectations, and most importantly, each of the family members. I passionately worked on keeping a good relationship with the family. At the end of the school year, I had to gulp back tears as they held a little goodbye party for me. Looking back, I learned a very valuable lesson without any cost.

This reality led me to seek for an American family later when I decided to transfer to another school in Pennsylvania. With paying much more money, I could stay in a Korean hosting house where I didn't have to think about cultural difference and feeling awkwardness, but I rather chose to be with natives. Plus, it doesn't cost much so it is the effect of killing two birds with one stone. So you guess. Who will be much more willing to be challenging in the future; moneybags or myself?

Undergraduate / 'talent in the field' - the world I was surrounded and how it shaped your dream [3]

Hi guys, I need to see if there are any grammar mistakes on this one.. And any sentence that don't make sense. Thank you so much for your help!

I have been having two dreams since attending an American high school 3 years ago. Looking backward, the world I was surrounded meant to aspire me to have those two dreams even when I was younger. As a little child, I used to love teaching something although I had not much of knowledge. Nevertheless, I always wished to share my know-how in professional way. Having a high school carrier in the U.S. shaped my vague thought more specifically and divided it into two parts: temporary and ultimate dreams. The temporary one is to go to a college of a high quality, which has an effective educational system, and to meet with engineering people who succeed in the school. My ultimate goal is helping people with my professional engineering skill and notifying Koreans of the skills and how American educational system is efficient.

It is probably known by now, but Korean school environment strictly controls students' freedom. They are expected to go to college even though they are stupid. I was no exception to this situation. I was pressured even more to succeed academically because I was the oldest son in my family. I did fairly well in school, but I hated the circumstance forcing me to study. Along with that, I abhorred physical punishment at school and bullying issue, which are typical matters in Korea. I had no idea how to find my authentic self.

Until I actually experienced American school life, I never imagined I would feel shocked with exchange student program. There, American students are accustomed to choosing activities and budgeting their time whereas Korean students don't even have choice or free time to do anything. I was doubt with this system at first because I was not used to it. However as time went by, with the school where focus is more on cognitive development and critical thinking, I rather became self-motivated to learn. My mind found settled, not being stressed by so much academic pressure.

Advocating American education, I continued my high school carrier in America by attending Lancaster Mennonite High School after I was done with the exchange student program in Michigan. In my junior year, I was definitely firmed I made a right choice as I took "Small Engines" class that discovered myself that I have interest in engineering. The class was fully based on practical works rather than rote memorizing concepts, which I long desired, and I would have not got that opportunity if I went to school in Korea. I quite felt excited.

Realizing I have a talent in the field inspired me to study it in a qualified institution. If I enter a college in Korea, I will be interested in only taking a look at my GPA. But what good is that? Those schools become inferior when compared to American ones. If I enroll in an American school of engineering, I will meet with many experts in engineering, and I will be more skilled in the field. It will be my honor to use my engineering understanding to develop the field in my home country. Furthermore equipped with the knowledge I earned throughout my school career in the U.S., I will be able to spread this ideal educational system to Korea so hopefully students there can develop critical thinking to advance the nation.