Writing Feedback / [IELTS] schools are no longer needed? [9]

Schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home. What extent do you agree or disagree?

In this highly information-oriented society, a considerable number of people have gained access to education through Internet. Thus some people argue that schools are not needed and students can just study at home in this way. As far as I am concerned, despite all the merits of online learning, schools are always indispensable.

Undeniably, online learning is a positive development. It has to be admitted that it is both convenient and economical for children to learn on the Web. They can take free courses on the Internet without leaving our homes and can stop at any time they want. Nevertheless, since we are able to get education and entertain ourselves at home, the line between study and play may be blurred. I doubt if the efficiency of learning at home via Internet can be ensured.

However, schools have their unique and irreplaceable functions including ensure better learning efficiency. It is easy to understand that under the supervisory of the teachers, students are more likely to master learning materials. Furthermore, a school is not only a place for students to study, but also a place to get along with others including their teachers and classmates, through whom there is a lot to be learned.

While learning in school does possess many advantages, it is also a fact that we will have to go to school everyday and thus we will have to spend a lot of time traveling to and from schools, suffering from traffic jams and all the other kinds of inconveniences. By contrast, we wouldn't be bothered by this through Internet.

On way of conclusion, I argue that both the traditional schools and online learning have their unique characteristics and cannot be replaced by each other. Thereby a combination of these two approaches of learning is the best policy.

I have already taken IELTS and got band 6.5 for writing. I hope to get higher scores. I will appreciate all your help.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL- juvenile delinquency and critical situations [NEW]

Recent years, the number of crimes committed by young people in major cities throughout the world is increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.

Recent years have seen the rise of juvenile delinquency in major cities around the globe, which has aroused people's concern.

On possible cause worth mentioning is that the adolescents are more exposed to the media, which contain excessive violence information, and hence pose negative impact on the adolescents. For the adolescents, it is hard to tell right from wrong by themselves in that age. Consequently, receiving excessive violence information may tempt them to imitate like that, perhaps just for fun. Besides, the Incompleteness of the Roles that parents should play as supervisors may play a factor in this issue. Nowadays, since parents are spending most of their time on their job, they overlook their children's education and development, resulting in the adolescents taking on the wrong track. Additionally, the increasing number of the young adults committing crimes in major cities is due to the enormous temptation in the cities. It is universally acknowledged that everyone wants to pursue fame and fortune. As the city is the hotbed for lust and temptation, it is likely that the teenagers fail to resist their carving for fortune and attempt to obtain them in a wrong way.

Considering the critical situations, carefully considered approaches are needed and higher priority must be given to. To begin with, domestic education ought to function properly, that is, parents had better keep their children out of trouble or help them out of it if they become involved. Meanwhile, the mass media might consider broadcasting violence-free programs for the adolescents. Moreover, the school should become actively involved in preventing its youth crime.

Young people often dislike and resent the adult world. They will do things to show that they are rebels.