tasmia01
Jan 15, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay : Issue of importance (about a pessimistic friend?) [16]
Thankyou so so so much ! Thats just what i needed!
Thankyou so so so much ! Thats just what i needed!
tasmia01
Jan 14, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay : Issue of importance (about a pessimistic friend?) [16]
I dont live in India , And i havent actively done anything about child labor.So what do i write?
Its hard and theres no time left to think of a whole new essay. Im kind of stuck arent i ?
I have changed it up a little bit (for like the fifth time) However i do not know what else i can write about me doin anything about it.
____________________________________________________________ ______________
"There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again" - Elizabeth Lawrence.
Throughout all the highs and the lows, Childhood is something that will be remembered forever. Childhood is a cardinal and powerful experience in each individual's lifetime but this very part of a person's life, is being snatched away from millions of children throughout the world.
Child labor is the full time work done by children under the age of fifteen, it is the work that interferes with their education and damages the physical, mental, social or psychological development of a child. There are about 250 million children that work in factories, plantations and fields and down mines. Even though efforts are being made to curb child labor, it still largely prevails in a number of underdeveloped and developing countries like India, Africa and China. Ironically, these child workers are often forced into labor at a time when there are millions of adults who are either unemployed or underemployed.
As a person, Whenever I read, see or hear of children who are forced to work for whatever reason, it brings to my mind the futility of all the economic progress and achievement that the modern world boasts of, yet does nothing to be able to feed a child in a poor country. Action plans are made and efforts are underway but what i would like to see during my lifetime is that no child needs to work just to be able to afford his or her next meal.
The question that often crosses my mind is "Does child labor really affect me?". After thinking for a considerable amount of time, i realized it does. Products made by child labor are sold in my corner store - matches, fireworks, toys, clothes, sporting goods, plastic gadgets ,you name it! Oranges picked by Brazilian children make their way into my breakfast juice. Surgical instruments used in hospitals are made by children. We all benefit from their cheap wages and since child laborers are usually paid about half the adult wage, that drives down the value of adult labor. It makes it tougher for adults to hang on to wages and to jobs. So ultimately, child labor is an issue of concern to every single person.
It is extremely frightening to see that in an era of technological advancement, the exploitation of children is present all over the world. India is one of the countries where this situation largely prevails.
The colorful glass bangles can be seen throughout India, decorating the wrists of women and girls. But nearly every one of these beautiful light-catching bracelets has one thing in common-children helped make them.
Firozabad city, where people breathe not air but glass, where every second vehicle on the road is found fully loaded with glittering glass bangles of vivid colors, is widely infamous for its glass works. In this city, about 90% of families are dependent on glass and bangle-making work. Approximately 20,000 children work in this business here. Children are dragged from their squalid beds at two, three or four o' clock in the morning and compelled to work for a bare subsistence until eleven or twelve at night, wearing their limbs away, their undernourished frames dwindling, faces whitening and their humanity sinking into a stone like torpor, utterly horrendous to contemplate. They sit in crouched positions, in dark rooms, using kerosene or gas to heat the bangles, staring into a small flame for hours and breathing gas fumes. As a consequence, the children, who slog their daylight hours in a cloistered room close to hot furnaces, often lose the brightness of their eyes. No steps are taken by the employers to educate the workers about the gases and chemicals used, nor are they provided with any protective gear. The beauty of the glass bangles of Firozabad contrasts with the misery of the people who produce them. This is only one mind-numbing example of a place inflicted by child labor. One can legitimately ask how we can contribute to save these children a great deal of misery.
Being an Indian national, child labor is something that i see every year and gives a twinge of bother to my conscience every time i visit. It is a horrendous sight to watch children younger than ten years of age serve you when you dine at a restaurant for a small inconsistent wage.I believe that this is an issue that must be tackled as soon as possible in order to free the children working under the scorching heat and to enable them to spend their childhood the way we do, with our friends and family, not in factories and mines.We must all begin to make an effort to eradicate a world where these poor children suffer generation after generation.It is necessary to take a resolution to abolish all child labor.The children need to be brought to classrooms and provided with basic education, followed by training in vocations of their interest. The nation does not need a working populace below the age of fourteen, but innocent children laughing through the day, enjoying their youth. Stringent steps have to be taken and it is the collective responsibility of the government and us as citizens to address the problem and bring to an end to all types of child labor.Child labor must not become a nation's social safety net.Years of mind-numbing toil have killed these children's initiative and ability to dream and we cannot let this continue.
In the words of Tenzin Gyatso, "All the problems of the world - child labor, corruption - are symptoms of a spiritual disease: Lack of compassion"
I dont live in India , And i havent actively done anything about child labor.So what do i write?
Its hard and theres no time left to think of a whole new essay. Im kind of stuck arent i ?
I have changed it up a little bit (for like the fifth time) However i do not know what else i can write about me doin anything about it.
____________________________________________________________ ______________
"There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again" - Elizabeth Lawrence.
Throughout all the highs and the lows, Childhood is something that will be remembered forever. Childhood is a cardinal and powerful experience in each individual's lifetime but this very part of a person's life, is being snatched away from millions of children throughout the world.
Child labor is the full time work done by children under the age of fifteen, it is the work that interferes with their education and damages the physical, mental, social or psychological development of a child. There are about 250 million children that work in factories, plantations and fields and down mines. Even though efforts are being made to curb child labor, it still largely prevails in a number of underdeveloped and developing countries like India, Africa and China. Ironically, these child workers are often forced into labor at a time when there are millions of adults who are either unemployed or underemployed.
As a person, Whenever I read, see or hear of children who are forced to work for whatever reason, it brings to my mind the futility of all the economic progress and achievement that the modern world boasts of, yet does nothing to be able to feed a child in a poor country. Action plans are made and efforts are underway but what i would like to see during my lifetime is that no child needs to work just to be able to afford his or her next meal.
The question that often crosses my mind is "Does child labor really affect me?". After thinking for a considerable amount of time, i realized it does. Products made by child labor are sold in my corner store - matches, fireworks, toys, clothes, sporting goods, plastic gadgets ,you name it! Oranges picked by Brazilian children make their way into my breakfast juice. Surgical instruments used in hospitals are made by children. We all benefit from their cheap wages and since child laborers are usually paid about half the adult wage, that drives down the value of adult labor. It makes it tougher for adults to hang on to wages and to jobs. So ultimately, child labor is an issue of concern to every single person.
It is extremely frightening to see that in an era of technological advancement, the exploitation of children is present all over the world. India is one of the countries where this situation largely prevails.
The colorful glass bangles can be seen throughout India, decorating the wrists of women and girls. But nearly every one of these beautiful light-catching bracelets has one thing in common-children helped make them.
Firozabad city, where people breathe not air but glass, where every second vehicle on the road is found fully loaded with glittering glass bangles of vivid colors, is widely infamous for its glass works. In this city, about 90% of families are dependent on glass and bangle-making work. Approximately 20,000 children work in this business here. Children are dragged from their squalid beds at two, three or four o' clock in the morning and compelled to work for a bare subsistence until eleven or twelve at night, wearing their limbs away, their undernourished frames dwindling, faces whitening and their humanity sinking into a stone like torpor, utterly horrendous to contemplate. They sit in crouched positions, in dark rooms, using kerosene or gas to heat the bangles, staring into a small flame for hours and breathing gas fumes. As a consequence, the children, who slog their daylight hours in a cloistered room close to hot furnaces, often lose the brightness of their eyes. No steps are taken by the employers to educate the workers about the gases and chemicals used, nor are they provided with any protective gear. The beauty of the glass bangles of Firozabad contrasts with the misery of the people who produce them. This is only one mind-numbing example of a place inflicted by child labor. One can legitimately ask how we can contribute to save these children a great deal of misery.
Being an Indian national, child labor is something that i see every year and gives a twinge of bother to my conscience every time i visit. It is a horrendous sight to watch children younger than ten years of age serve you when you dine at a restaurant for a small inconsistent wage.I believe that this is an issue that must be tackled as soon as possible in order to free the children working under the scorching heat and to enable them to spend their childhood the way we do, with our friends and family, not in factories and mines.We must all begin to make an effort to eradicate a world where these poor children suffer generation after generation.It is necessary to take a resolution to abolish all child labor.The children need to be brought to classrooms and provided with basic education, followed by training in vocations of their interest. The nation does not need a working populace below the age of fourteen, but innocent children laughing through the day, enjoying their youth. Stringent steps have to be taken and it is the collective responsibility of the government and us as citizens to address the problem and bring to an end to all types of child labor.Child labor must not become a nation's social safety net.Years of mind-numbing toil have killed these children's initiative and ability to dream and we cannot let this continue.
In the words of Tenzin Gyatso, "All the problems of the world - child labor, corruption - are symptoms of a spiritual disease: Lack of compassion"
tasmia01
Jan 14, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay : Issue of importance (about a pessimistic friend?) [16]
I omitted some stuff and came up with this . Is this okay? or must i add more personal details ?
I omitted some stuff and came up with this . Is this okay? or must i add more personal details ?
tasmia01
Jan 14, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay : Issue of importance (about a pessimistic friend?) [16]
What must i omit to make it shorter? and If i do make it much shorter then do i still have to add more things about how child labour influences me?
What must i omit to make it shorter? and If i do make it much shorter then do i still have to add more things about how child labour influences me?
tasmia01
Jan 14, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay : Issue of importance (about a pessimistic friend?) [16]
Due date for the essay is tomorrow. I have come up with an essay . Please critique and help correct any mistakes.
Thanks !
Due date for the essay is tomorrow. I have come up with an essay . Please critique and help correct any mistakes.
Thanks !
tasmia01
Jan 13, 2009
Undergraduate / "After I took a psychology course..." - University of Texas at Austin Essay [10]
Great essay! Really well written.
Also , Its surprising how we can find a no. of people applying to the same colleges :)
Great essay! Really well written.
Also , Its surprising how we can find a no. of people applying to the same colleges :)
tasmia01
Jan 13, 2009
Essays / Is there UT word limit? 'it must be no longer than 120 eighty-character lines of text' [10]
Thank you so much :)
Thank you so much :)
tasmia01
Jan 13, 2009
Undergraduate / The two required essays for UT, need critique [9]
These essays are both really good! Im applying to UT too and still havent finished my 2 required essays!
These essays are both really good! Im applying to UT too and still havent finished my 2 required essays!
tasmia01
Jan 13, 2009
Undergraduate / Obedient yet rebellious, disciplined, unruly; this person influenced me [25]
Isnt the UT essay due by 15th of Jan? Im stuck in the same situation and trying to figure out how i can complete 3 essays in another 2 days -_-
Isnt the UT essay due by 15th of Jan? Im stuck in the same situation and trying to figure out how i can complete 3 essays in another 2 days -_-
tasmia01
Jan 12, 2009
Essays / Is there UT word limit? 'it must be no longer than 120 eighty-character lines of text' [10]
so that makes it an essay with around 9600 characters. Isnt that a really long essay?
so that makes it an essay with around 9600 characters. Isnt that a really long essay?
tasmia01
Jan 12, 2009
Essays / Is there UT word limit? 'it must be no longer than 120 eighty-character lines of text' [10]
The UT essay says
"If you are submitting your essay online , it must be no longer than 120 eighty-character lines of text (including spaces and blank lines)
How many words is this approximately? Please help !
The UT essay says
"If you are submitting your essay online , it must be no longer than 120 eighty-character lines of text (including spaces and blank lines)
How many words is this approximately? Please help !
tasmia01
Jan 12, 2009
Undergraduate / Dilemma on writing an essay on 'a person who has impact on your life' [14]
The essay aims at finding out who you are as a person. So rather than writing more about the teacher, write a bit about him and more about how he has influenced your way of thinking / working/reacting with others etc .
Make it all work in ur favor!
good luck!
The essay aims at finding out who you are as a person. So rather than writing more about the teacher, write a bit about him and more about how he has influenced your way of thinking / working/reacting with others etc .
Make it all work in ur favor!
good luck!
tasmia01
Jan 12, 2009
Graduate / SOP for Graduate Program in Environmental Science [3]
The World has entered in to the 21st century; but the challenges humans are facing HAVE been identified ages back.
There is AN urgency of maintaining natural resource base, the concerns for the sustainable economic development and balancing our environment.
I think the grammar and vocab might need to be worked upon . But do check with an english teacher just to make sure:)
good work !
The World has entered in to the 21st century; but the challenges humans are facing HAVE been identified ages back.
There is AN urgency of maintaining natural resource base, the concerns for the sustainable economic development and balancing our environment.
I think the grammar and vocab might need to be worked upon . But do check with an english teacher just to make sure:)
good work !
tasmia01
Jan 6, 2009
Undergraduate / Essay : Issue of importance (about a pessimistic friend?) [16]
Choose an issue of importance to you .The issue could be personal , school related, local or international in scope.write about how this issue has influenced you , your family , your community or your generation.
^ This is my topic
I was wondering if i could right about a friend (more like a ex friend) whose pessimism has influenced me in a significant manner and how it made sense to end that friendship after trying hard to change her negative attitude.
does this count as an issue? or does it fall into the category of "how someone has influenced my life"?
Help pleasee !
Choose an issue of importance to you .The issue could be personal , school related, local or international in scope.write about how this issue has influenced you , your family , your community or your generation.
^ This is my topic
I was wondering if i could right about a friend (more like a ex friend) whose pessimism has influenced me in a significant manner and how it made sense to end that friendship after trying hard to change her negative attitude.
does this count as an issue? or does it fall into the category of "how someone has influenced my life"?
Help pleasee !
tasmia01
Jan 6, 2009
Undergraduate / UT essay ("a pair of the beautiful earnings") [7]
Thankyou so much , You've really been a great help!
to this sentence:
Her greatest gift is her selflessness.She is someone who is always learning;and then teaching, who always listens;then talks, Who always gives and only then takes
should i add I only wish i could be more like her and care more about those around me with a helpful and determined attitude ?
Would that help?
also do i need to rearrange the paragraphs? and where and how should i fit it in how she has influenced me + taught me new things + given me help , support and advice?
Also, can i add things like " from an early age she has taught me how to create new things (like paper mache) and puppets and how to weave baskets?" and "she has tought me how to look at things with a brighter attitude and truly believe the glass is half full rather than half empty" ?
Please help
Thankyou so much , You've really been a great help!
to this sentence:
Her greatest gift is her selflessness.She is someone who is always learning;and then teaching, who always listens;then talks, Who always gives and only then takes
should i add I only wish i could be more like her and care more about those around me with a helpful and determined attitude ?
Would that help?
also do i need to rearrange the paragraphs? and where and how should i fit it in how she has influenced me + taught me new things + given me help , support and advice?
Also, can i add things like " from an early age she has taught me how to create new things (like paper mache) and puppets and how to weave baskets?" and "she has tought me how to look at things with a brighter attitude and truly believe the glass is half full rather than half empty" ?
Please help
tasmia01
Jan 6, 2009
Undergraduate / Sharps and Flats - common app essay... [10]
Be harsh?
I love this .. I think its perfect!
But from my post before u can see that i really suck, So you should take advice of someone else too.. But this is great!
[You write so well, If you could give a quick read through my post and give me a few pointers please?]
Be harsh?
I love this .. I think its perfect!
But from my post before u can see that i really suck, So you should take advice of someone else too.. But this is great!
[You write so well, If you could give a quick read through my post and give me a few pointers please?]
tasmia01
Jan 6, 2009
Undergraduate / UT essay ("a pair of the beautiful earnings") [7]
Okay , im not good at all. And as u can see i have just started. If you could read what i came up with and help me with suggestions , tips , corrections or any such thing, it would be a great help. This is my first time writing an essay for any admissions so do help!
____________________________________________________________ ___________
I opened the box and took out the beautiful earnings."For me?" I asked in supreme awe. "Who else?" she asked me, smiling. She had made for me,With her own hands, out of shells she found at the beach and little colored pebbles; a pair of (beautiful) earings.
My aunt, Shehnaz is more than 50 years of age,the mother of two children in their 20's and has been through a (terrifying) bout of cancer.
Even at her age, She manages to organize her cousins, nephews and neices to accompany her for a camping trip in the midst of the mountains. She takes me and my cousins snorkeling and mountain climbing because my parents are too lazy or scared to (do) such (wonderful) (activities). Her drives to unseen places and the experiences she shares with us hasHAVE us listening ever so intently to see what extraordinary event she is going to tell us about next.
Her ability to (be a child) with children [adopt their way of acting and thinking while with them] ,keep them engrossed in (creating things they enjoy) and exploring things for the first time endears her to all children-from toddlers to teens.
Her infallible spirit,zest for life and her ability to be comfortable with people of all ages,backgrounds,ethnicities and social strata that make her so amiable and someone to look up to. She has always weaved a close net of family and friends around her and with her lively nature,made every gathering-one that can never be forgotten.
All this has been in spite of her (illness) which she has (lived through) and battled as if nothing of the sort ever happened. She has never ever spoken about this trauma to those around her .It appears as if she gains her strength and conviction to go on in life with a "Never-say-die" attitude.
Her greatest gift is her unselfishness. She is someone who is always learning;and then teaching, who always listens;then talks, Who always gives and only then-Takes.
Apart from these extraordinary traits , she is an extremely artistic person,be it at painting ,crafts or even sewing.She is someone who does things differently.When once bored, she would go to a nearby village and take pictures of every (house's intricate and different entrances). She leaves me gaping in awe when i see the new things she has (created) by the time i visit her next.
every home's exquisite and distinctive entrances
All in all , Her lively nature, extraordinary zest for life and optimism are what endears her to me and my contact with her has deeply influenced my way of thinking , living and dealing with those around me .
_______________________________________________________________________
I do need to rearrange alot of stuff. But i dont know where to place what.
Also could someone suggest a title for my essay and help replace the words in the brackets with better words? Or am i asking too much?
Okay , im not good at all. And as u can see i have just started. If you could read what i came up with and help me with suggestions , tips , corrections or any such thing, it would be a great help. This is my first time writing an essay for any admissions so do help!
____________________________________________________________ ___________
I opened the box and took out the beautiful earnings."For me?" I asked in supreme awe. "Who else?" she asked me, smiling. She had made for me,With her own hands, out of shells she found at the beach and little colored pebbles; a pair of (beautiful) earings.
My aunt, Shehnaz is more than 50 years of age,the mother of two children in their 20's and has been through a (terrifying) bout of cancer.
Even at her age, She manages to organize her cousins, nephews and neices to accompany her for a camping trip in the midst of the mountains. She takes me and my cousins snorkeling and mountain climbing because my parents are too lazy or scared to (do) such (wonderful) (activities). Her drives to unseen places and the experiences she shares with us hasHAVE us listening ever so intently to see what extraordinary event she is going to tell us about next.
Her ability to (be a child) with children [adopt their way of acting and thinking while with them] ,keep them engrossed in (creating things they enjoy) and exploring things for the first time endears her to all children-from toddlers to teens.
Her infallible spirit,zest for life and her ability to be comfortable with people of all ages,backgrounds,ethnicities and social strata that make her so amiable and someone to look up to. She has always weaved a close net of family and friends around her and with her lively nature,made every gathering-one that can never be forgotten.
All this has been in spite of her (illness) which she has (lived through) and battled as if nothing of the sort ever happened. She has never ever spoken about this trauma to those around her .It appears as if she gains her strength and conviction to go on in life with a "Never-say-die" attitude.
Her greatest gift is her unselfishness. She is someone who is always learning;and then teaching, who always listens;then talks, Who always gives and only then-Takes.
Apart from these extraordinary traits , she is an extremely artistic person,be it at painting ,crafts or even sewing.She is someone who does things differently.When once bored, she would go to a nearby village and take pictures of every (house's intricate and different entrances). She leaves me gaping in awe when i see the new things she has (created) by the time i visit her next.
every home's exquisite and distinctive entrances
All in all , Her lively nature, extraordinary zest for life and optimism are what endears her to me and my contact with her has deeply influenced my way of thinking , living and dealing with those around me .
_______________________________________________________________________
I do need to rearrange alot of stuff. But i dont know where to place what.
Also could someone suggest a title for my essay and help replace the words in the brackets with better words? Or am i asking too much?
