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Posts by rxa0789
Joined: Sep 23, 2012
Last Post: Oct 14, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
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rxa0789   
Oct 14, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Born in America to Indian parents' - UT Austin- Optional Essay (respect) [2]

Prompt: There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

Any suggestions or feedback would me much appreciated. Also lots grammar critique would be awesome. Be as harsh as you feel and tear it apart!

As the sun peaked over the mountain peaks, the untouched powder glistened on the mountains. Although my feet were weighed down with the board, there was joy in my heart. I was on the mountain with the wind whipping through my hair, 10,000 feet above sea level as I rode the ski lift up to the very top of the mountain. Soon I would once again experience that feeling I dream about every day.

Nothing compares to the adrenaline rush that passes through my body as I carve down the mountain slope. High up here it is just the mountain and I. Hurtling down the mountain enjoying my freedom, I continued down in my own world. Suddenly I was jolted back to reality when someone shouted out, "Watch out! You need to slow down!" Coming to a halt with powder flying underneath my board I turned around to see who it was. It was an employee, he told me to look around and be cognizant of my surroundings.

As I continued down the mountain I realized that there was a larger lesson to be learned here, a lesson that has resonated in other parts of my life. Whether you are a skier or snowboarder, young or old, beginner or pro, the slopes are open to everyone. I should have been mindful of others' paths and speeds down the mountain. This experience helped me realize that respect is bigger than any slope.

All my life respect has played a significant role. Growing up I faced many challenges that have contributed to this sense of respect.

Born in America to Indian parents I had to adjust to both cultures. I quickly learned to respect the differences in both cultures. My parents taught me to appreciate diversity and treat it with respect. I learned not to be judgmental or opinionated about the traditions, clothes, or food of other cultures.

In addition to the cultural differences I faced, I grew up in an interfaith family. My dad is Hindu and my mom is Christian. Growing up I learned to appreciate both religions. This has helped me understand that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. As a result, I have respectfully stayed away from stereotyping people based on race, ethnicity or religion.

In life everyone will travel on his or her own path, at his or her own speed, just like on the slopes. This is something I have come to understand and respect. As I enter college, I am going to be faced with a lot of diversity - social, religious, and cultural. I am confident the importance of respect I have learned will help me navigate these paths.
rxa0789   
Oct 14, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Drill team try-out' - EXTRACURRICULAR essay [3]

I think one way to make this essay better would be to end the essay with how being a part of the drill team and shaped or inspired you in some way. This could potentially make it a much stronger essay.
rxa0789   
Oct 14, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Engineering and Ping Pong' - Georgia Tech Short Essay [3]

I think to make this essay more effective you need to choose one topic to talk about. Having two unrelated topics just confuses the reader. I feel as though the engineering topic makes sense and the table tennis one is kind of random. However, this could due to the way it is presented. The best way to go about this situation would be to choose one, and go further and deeper in to it. Elaborate on it.
rxa0789   
Sep 23, 2012
Essays / UT Austin- Person of Influence Essay Snowboarding [2]

This is the prompt: Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

I want to write an essay about snowboarding but have no idea how to start? Does anyone have any suggestions?
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