Undergraduate / Common App Essay - Real Trophies [2]

I absolutely loathed getting trophies every year in recreational league baseball or basketball just for participating. That plastic trophy meant nothing for me because all I did to earn it was show up (this is still weird, revise this sentence). Even the trophies our team earned for winning the losers' bracket felt cheap and meaningless to me. The real trophies were the camaraderie and sense of hard work that we developed throughout the year. In school, I have hated getting certificates of participation and certificates for passing the Standards of Learning Tests (which make sure you are learning the bare minimum required by the state). I don't want to be congratulated for doing the bare minimum required by some agency. I want to feel like what I have accomplished matters. And I don't need a trophy for that. powerful!

A trophy is only a symbol simply a symbol for something. It can be a symbol of victory, of participation, or of hard work. Regardless of what it stands for, it is still an inanimate object. The trophy doesn't feel a sense of satisfaction, the person does. The real trophy is inside of the presented individual. I have tons of trophies, medals, and certificates stowed away in a cedar chest, but they don't matter to me at all . They're not real. I consider my real trophies to be more useful (word choice) than the trinkets stowed away at my house. My real trophies are my public speaking skills, my AP test scores, and my friends, all of whom were earned through hard work.I don't like this. My real trophies are the positions of leadership I have earned in Student Government, Crime Solvers, and the Virginia Student Council Association. My real trophies are my family, my sense of a job well done, and my faith. Trophies are our values and our accomplishments, not something that sits on a shelf and does nothing . We never see our best trophies.

When I leave this world, I don't want to leave a plastic trophy. I want to leave a legacy and a life filled with accomplishments. Does our society think so little of our personal constitutions that we feel that we need to give both losers and winners trophies so that nobody's feelings are hurt? It teaches the next generation to value the wrong things.

I love this. Strong theme

Writing Feedback / Over-reliance on technology & ability of humas to think for themselves [2]

Hi! I think it's great you are trying to improve your writing skills. What I noticed in your essay is that you have poor comprehension and composition, but a good vocabulary. It is better to have stronger composition and use everyday language than to randomly throw in big words. Also, use a space after periods. Your word processor probably has spell check, go ahead and do that.

Graduate / 'when I first saw the computer' - SOP for Master's in Computer Engineering [2]

I still remember the day of my school, when I first saw the computer. I was a student in the sixth grade . It was more fun when my tutor taught me to play 'Prince of Persia'. uh, what?

Now we have our own personal PC to do our work. Similarly, from a floppy-disk to a pen drive and from Pentium 1st to i7 there are lots of changes we have faced and is still changing. Every hour we welcome to a new technology. This shows how fast the world people and life style have changed along with the achievements in the field of computer science. And because of these reason my interest to get involved in field of computer science have become more stronger.

I was very keen of computer since my childhood. I used to read articles about its uses and its architecture. I was very fascinated with its extraordinary computational power and this keen interest and passion lead me to become a Computer Engineer now. Today the technologies have ruled the world, we search for the new technological solution for our problem and then we develop software to monitor that technology, In addition to this fact all these won't be possible without the Knowledge of Computer Science.

When I was first admitted for my bachelor studies I had many things to learn, not only the programming, networking and telecommunication but also to get adopted in new environment. It was very tough to face the challenges and go through the completion for a girl who has never been so far away from home. Time and circumstances taught me to become more practical, independent and Confident, and then I was never failed in the chapter of life. Even in my academics, I have increasing rank from an average student to a topper until my final semester. In addition to this, it was great honour when we were awarded by (NTA) Nepal telecommunication authority research and study for the development of telecommunication/ICT sector grant for our final year project.

Presently, I work as a Software Engineer in "Magnus Consulting Group Pvt Ltd". Currently involved in building accounting software for cooperative Organisations of Nepal accordingly it works for the ICT development in rural areas. This makes me feel that technology is being entered in our villages day by day, and its a matter of great pride for me to be a part of it. I have a desire to deliver the most standard and efficient software to them. It feels as if the each module, in which I work, brings the new adventures for me. I want to learn more, so that I can go through each adventure more interestingly.

With this very little experience and my interest to work for the information technology industry have increased my passion for gaining more Knowledge in the field of computer science to infinity. I want to take part in research and innovative activities learn them and implement them in our life. I want to get a specialisation in software engineering so that I can deliver most efficient and standard software to the Organisations.

When it comes to the matter of skill, It feels that I know very little and I want to discover more in this worlds of computer Science. I have been knocking in the door and when it opens I will get entered to the real world of Knowledge which will enhance my Understanding not only in the field of programming but also in analysis design and testing. Along with this spirit and enthusiasm, I have chosen to study "Masters in Computer Engineering ", If I am given the opportunity from you.

Are you just learning english? I started to edit this but it just isn't making much sense.

Undergraduate / ' reaching every direction' - Michigan Personal statement- Econ/Business [4]

Hmm. I like it!! I don't know how I feel about the Ann Arbor "shout out" or the alumni. I think if you talked more about your experiences and what the school would do for you, that would be cool. But hey, I'm in the same spot as you! read mine?