Undergraduate /
Common App/ I have always been a generous person [2]
I love the message of this essay, and I think it has the potential to be very good. There are many things you can improve though. You do a lot of telling, I would do more showing for starters. A lot of sentences you use are awkward or unclear.
"Here I said," you can share mine. He laughed. "Here, you can share mine" I said. He laughed.
I have always done whatever I can to provide for others in need. I love to share and to be generous. To me, generosity is freely sharing what I can offer with others. It is my willingness to offer moral support and advice. It is sharing my lunch with a friend who forgot theirs at home. Maybe shorten this or eliminate it, it doesn't really add anything.
I have structured my life in a way that makes generosity impetuous and fun. Impetuous means done in a hurry, not a good word to use here.
I have conversations with them and teach them about various social cues and how to guide a conversation. "Teach them about various social cues SUCH AS how to guide a conversation.
Matthew was five at the time and sees only 5% out of one eye. Saw, not sees
I used my own nature to provide nurture for him in class This doesn't make sense.
Matthew taught me that in order to teach him the best way I could, I had to be the best, the enthusiasm he heard in my voice would set the tone for the way he would internalize what I taught him. Run on sentence, and what you're saying here is awkward.
My ability to provide knowledge for them and for them to help me understand how to better be of use to them is very rewarding. Fix this sentence, the phrasing here is very awkward and unclear.
I have always viewed generosity as almost a spiritual endeavor. I have always viewed generosity as an almost spiritual endeavor.
The last few paragraphs are very general and don't really relate to the whole essay. Try to figure out exactly what you're trying to say, in a concise and clear way.
