Undergraduate / Hailing from the most southern tip of Texas ; Why Yale? [8]

I would suggest choosing another reason. Since I know the word limit, I'm aware you cannot really explain your reason in much detail. Therefore, it would be wise to choose a more compelling reason that particularly applies to Yale. Good luck :)

Student Talk / Anyone who has had a Harvard interview has some suggestions/pointers? Yale. [15]

Thank you so much Ahmad! Your help means a lot and it certainly helped me devise a strategy. Pray for me.

I see you're from Iran, that makes us neighbors and friends by default :)

Regards
Mashal

Student Talk / Anyone who has had a Harvard interview has some suggestions/pointers? Yale. [15]

Yale interview - tips and suggestions for me to be confident?

Hey guys I have my Yale interview in a couple of days. Could anyone please give me some tips or suggestions other than dress professionally, smile a lot, be confident? Your help will be much appreciated :)

Undergraduate / 'World around my little brother' - Stanford-what matters to you, and why? [17]

Thank you so much Larry. I will make sure I incorporate the changes you suggested :)

Undergraduate / 'World around my little brother' - Stanford-what matters to you, and why? [17]

Thank you so much for your contributions.
Mr.Maro I wrote "I had hoped" because I wanted to convey the message that it did not happen. My brother is bedridden.

Undergraduate / 'Parodying Musics' - Caltech: Describing an Unusual way in which you have fun [8]

Wow parodying music is so great. Its good that you clarified the joke because I couldn't figure out how it linked with your friend Richard. It would be appropriate if you could elaborate on the parodies you made rather than just listing them with one line explanations.

Hope it helps, please review my essay.

Undergraduate / Cornell Essay - evolution of intellectual interests - "Success!" [5]

I love how you have described economics as fun! My only suggestion is to change the "Where's" to "Where is" I read somewhere that colleges prefer complete words in the admissions essays.

Please help me with mine, and good luck :)

Undergraduate / 'World around my little brother' - Stanford-what matters to you, and why? [17]

I can hardly add another sentence given the word limit. Would you or anybody else recommend eliminating a phrase or two and adding something else. Is it okay to include Harry Potter in this response?

Undergraduate / 'inherently timeless dream' - UCHICAGO SUPPLEMENT [2]

I think the title "The American Dream" would be more appropriate. I don't see how this essay can fall under the prompt you chose, but as its a topic of own choice just change the title and its good to go :)

Writing Feedback / AP Lang Essay: The Twerp in the Photo is Me [5]

can you read my essay? I've uploaded the complete essay

Undergraduate / 'out of ramblings' - Letter To Roomate supplement... w/ a wacky twist... [6]

I see your point, your essay will certainly freshen up the admission officers. I really hope you get in :)

I have revised my essay and uploaded the complete version. I would really appreciate if you could read it :)

Undergraduate / 'World around my little brother' - Stanford-what matters to you, and why? [17]

I have revised the opening. Can you please read the rest and tell me if it is good enough? It is really hard for me to express my feelings in just two paragraphs, please help me make it for forceful.

As I began typing this response, my epileptic brother suffered from four consecutive fits. Watching his body twist and turn in discomfort and not being able to alleviate his pain extracts the color out of my life. In that moment of helplessness I know what matters to me the most: his well-being. I no longer remember the perfectly crafted response I had in mind to impress the admission officers into offering me a place of study. My world revolves around my little brother, feeling his needs for him and satisfying them has been a part of my life for the past fifteen years. I have seen the anguish in his eyes during the fits when he lacerates his tongue so badly that he cannot eat for days. I can see blood dripping from his ear right now due to the intensity of the last fit.

I still remember my eagerness to welcome the newest member of our family. I had hoped that he would captivate me with his laughter and the first steps but irritate me with his demands to eat more candy and watch cartoons when I wanted to watch Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. His laughter illuminates my world but I am still waiting for the day he would destroy my makeup or spill water on an assignment due in the morning. Every day I see his age fellows in their middle school uniforms talking about the latest gadgets they found at the shopping mall, the girls they like and a vast array of other topics of interest. Looking at them, I think about how different my life would have been if my brother were an ordinary child. There would be no reason for my motherly attachment to him. Nobody would dare pity him. Everyone would understand that it hurts us when somebody laughs at him or looks down at him as if he is some peculiar object. His life and his well-being are the most important aspects of my life and I wish to be a part of a community where nobody would stare at him when he accompanies me at my graduation.

Undergraduate / 'out of ramblings' - Letter To Roomate supplement... w/ a wacky twist... [6]

Its certainly an unconventional approach, and it clearly describes some of your key qualities. But shouldn't it be a little formal? After all it is the admissions officers who get to read it. Get rid of the phrase in the parentheses. Otherwise, I like it :)

Undergraduate / 'A citizen of Earth' - Stanford short essay--What matters to you and why? [7]

Great essay. I believe focusing on two to three places and elaborating on the experience would certainly make it more engaging and reader friendly. Good luck :)

Please read mine, hope to meet you at Stanford next fall. Perhaps we could explore some new places together :)

Writing Feedback / AP Lang Essay: The Twerp in the Photo is Me [5]

I really enjoyed reading this essay.But don't you think it would be better to focus on just one picture? I would suggest pick the one where you're five and write about your encounter with another little human being. Or perhaps choose the one where you are four and elaborate on how this particular picture confuses you. If I were you I would stick with one picture and write a detailed account. If however you must choose more than one, don't choose more than two. Although this essay is interesting. it appears that you're jumping from one idea to another. Hope this helps :)

Let me know if you need more help and please pray for me :)

Undergraduate / 'World around my little brother' - Stanford-what matters to you, and why? [17]

Thank you so much for your opinion, I will certainly try to elaborate on that point.

I'm on your essay now :)

Undergraduate / Notre Dame What do you never believe &difference between intelligence and wisdom [4]

Jennyflower81's editing removes the confusion from your first response. I really like how you've used a very simple example to demonstrate the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Good luck.

Undergraduate / 'World around my little brother' - Stanford-what matters to you, and why? [17]

Thank you :) I'm reading yours now.

Undergraduate / Strange? Indeed; Stanford Roommate Letter [5]

I absolutely love it. After reading this essay, I really hope that I get into Stanford so that I can meet this amazing person who shares so many of my characteristics! It shows that you're spontaneous, outgoing, really friendly, quite ambitious and you take your work very seriously! Oh God, I need to improve my letter A LOT!