Undergraduate / Transfer to NYU Gallatin-Why NYU?/Academic interests/What intrigues [2]

So a lot of people on this website ask how to improve their essays and never mention what happens after. I applied to NYU Gallatin as a transfer and was admitted using these essays. I hope that this helps shed some light on what they are looking for in a transfer application essay!

Tell us why you have chosen the above campus (using a maximum of 700 characters-spaces and punctuation included).
The city streets bustle with an undeniable fervor. Tangles of sounds fill the air: foreign languages, rumbling subway cars, and hurried footsteps on the pavement. Street artists and Wall Street elitists recognize the universality and unique subculture of New York City caused by the intermingling of foreign cultures and perspectives. With Broadway, the Museum of Natural History, and the Sony Wonder Technology Lab, the city teems with frontiers for curious minds to explore. Intrigue, excitement, and adventure are only a step outside of your dorm or a subway ride away. New York City enables students to pursue nearly unlimited opportunities to follow their interests wherever they lead.

NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

One hundred billion neurons make up the brain. Each cell connects to approximately ten thousand neighboring neurons, meaning a cubic centimeter of brain tissue has more neural connections than there are stars in the Milky Way. The brain processes and responds to billions of signals every second, with each signal creating new neural pathways. No two brains are the same, so why should any two educations be the same?

A prescribed education has never quite sat well with me. I have always desired an environment that fosters intellectual curiosity and a curriculum that makes personal growth possible. At the Gallatin School of Individualized Study I plan to pursue my academic interests in an amalgamation of studies - neuroscience, animal science, social work, ethics, chemistry, music, and more - and combine them into my perfect major in preparation for a career in veterinary medicine. Although these subjects may at first glance seem entirely unrelated, I imagine them as an indivisible web, each reliant on the other for survival and necessary for a truly interdisciplinary education.

At Gallatin, I would allow my varied passions to guide my education, rather than trying to fit myself into a standard pre-packaged major. Although I have no idea where these interests will take me nor am I certain how they will combine into a major, I believe that Gallatin will help me determine that along the way and provide me with unparalleled academic and personal opportunities.

What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.

Social media is an odd, twisting array of changing social norms. From the innovation of MySpace to the birth of Twitter, the options for interconnection and communication are infinite. However, neither Twitter hashtags nor Pinterest re-pinnings are nearly as intriguing as the Facebook poke. It may only be a small feature created by Mark Zuckerberg to have no significant purpose, but poking someone means more than just clicking a mouse.

Pokes have no set meaning, and are therefore shrouded in mystery and ambiguity. There are no words, no tone of voice, no facial expressions, and no body language, leaving its interpretation entirely dependent on the users and their relationship. Is it friendly or flirtatious? Are you keeping in touch without writing a message, saying hello in a goofy way, or are you making a move? Then there are more subtle questions associated with the poke that can easily change the connotation attached to it. Does the person respond right away, or wait a few days? Waiting implies disinterest, while immediate re-poking suggests either an impending poke war or mutual attraction. What time of day did you send the poke? A daytime poke is friendly, while a late night poke has suggestive undertones.

We communicate in fascinating ways, but the poke is by far the most intriguing. It is an unstudied anthropological and sociological mystery, that as a college student and social media researcher I find particularly interesting and incredibly relevant.

Undergraduate / College Green; Brown U - TRANSFER - Neuroscience [8]

Here is my Brown supplement in full. Please tell me what you think of it. I am hoping to submit it in the next few days. Thank you!

Please tell us more about your interest in transferring: Why does Brown appeal to you as a college option? Who or what has influenced your decision to apply?

"What did you think of this one, Lex?" My mother would expectantly inquire after every campus visit.

I would pause and list positive attributes about the college, but ultimately I always gave the same reply, "It's okay, but it's just not the one."

But when I stepped onto the College Green, I knew that something was different. I looked on as students played Frisbee and read under the elm trees, and it just clicked. I saw a place where I could thrive and mature personally because of the broad range of student diversity. I could learn for the sake of learning and I could foster my intellectual curiosity without any constraints through the open curriculum. I saw myself joining a lab, a sorority, and CareFree Clinic; perhaps even creating a pre-vet club on campus. Something about the individualistic, intellectual, and accepting atmosphere immediately and inexorably drew me in. But more than that, it was the intangible feeling that I belonged.

Brown is the one.

Describe what academic field(s) you wish to pursue at Brown, how you came upon that interest, and any post-graduation career plans you may have considered.

On the first day of my chemistry of emotion course, the professor posed a series of questions to the class: Why do you have an affinity for certain academic areas? Why do you think in a specific way? Does your brain shape you, or do you shape your brain? Who is in charge, you or your brain? I latched onto these questions and turned them over in my mind - or I suppose my frontal lobe - for hours. As I contemplated these questions and read more on the topic, I found myself looking at the world from a new perspective - a perspective from which I recognized the value and importance of even the most basic functions in the brain. [...]

Undergraduate / Finding The Perfect Pair of Jeans - Transfer Essay [7]

HELP! I feel like something is not right with my essay. If there are any suggestions you have to make the flow or the general ideas more clear I would appreciate it. Do you think the essay talks about me? Do you think it is clear why I am transferring? Do you think that there is a good flow? Do you think it fully answers the prompt?

Prompt: Please provide a statement (250 words minimum) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve

If you go to Old Navy and try on every pair of jeans in the store, you will walk out with the perfect pair of jeans. If you simply buy the first pair of jeans you see in the color and cut you think you want, you may have wasted thirty dollars on a pair of jeans that are not quiet right. One day in November, I tried on pair of black size 26 jeans from Forever 21. They looked perfect when I had bought them online, and I expected them to look perfect on me. I stood in my room, yanking at the belt loops, struggling to get the jeans over my hips. My frustration boiled. I gave one last pull and the belt loop snapped off in my hand. Although I managed to get the jeans on they were incredibly tight, and I felt uncomfortable. Looking in the mirror, I recognized that my time at XYZ was no different - while there was nothing wrong with the college, I felt unhappy with the fit of the school.

My first semester, I enrolled in a seminar that explored the effects of neurobiology on emotion, behavior, and personality. The subjects we looked at ranged from the chemistry of neural hijackings to emotional intelligence. Each class we discussed the readings in relation to current events. The more books I read on the topic, the more interested I became in cognitive and neurosciences. I have enjoyed the academic rigor and engaging professors at the college; however, I have found that the school does not offer my exact major. More and more my interests have stemmed beyond the limited neuroscience program at XYZ - a foundational understanding of the psychological processes alone - into behavioral and cognitive neuroscience, as well as neurochemistry.

Additionally, the college seems to have a "one-size fits all" philosophy when it comes to academics. The administration strictly dictates which classes you can take to fulfill each of the fifteen general education requirements. While these are wonderful guidelines for a liberal arts education, I believe that the best way to achieve a well-rounded student body is by allowing them the freedom of self-determination. Certainly, students should take history, English, math, and science - but it would be more effective to allow the students to choose how and what classes within these disciplines they wish to take. I believe that individualism and finding yourself is much of what college is, and not being able to explore your academic interests fully is, in my opinion, a disservice to the students.

While my reasons for transferring are almost purely academic, there is one non-academic reason. Socially, XYZ operates as a binary. Everything at the college is a black or white. You cannot be more than one thing. You cannot be a combination of things. You certainly cannot be a contradiction. However, I see myself in shades of grey and as many different possibilities. I am not only a neuroscience major, but I am also liberal, interested in the global AIDS epidemic, and a yoga fanatic. I am not someone who can be pigeonholed into one group of people. I believe that a college with more socioeconomic and geographic diversity as well as more on-campus activities, I would find all of my places at a college.

When I first looked at XYZ online and visited the campus, I thought that it would be the perfect fit; it seemed complementary to all of the things I wanted and sought - a beautiful campus, rigorous academics, and an engaging student body. I have since come to the conclusion that no high school student can know exactly what they want from a college until they arrive on campus as a college student. As a high school senior, I went into the college market and bought the first pair of jeans I thought would be perfect. I realized that for me, the perfect fit is a college with a stronger neuroscience department with a larger breadth of courses, fewer curricular requirements or less standardized curriculum, and a more diverse student body where people are more likely to relate to each other in meaningful ways. Now, with more experience and a better understanding of what I want after trying one on for size, I believe I am truly ready to find my home for the next three years.

Undergraduate / Johns Hopkins Transfer Supplement - Why Hopkins? 'Outdated stereotypes' [4]

Hello! I would love some advice and/or edits on my admissions essay. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

When planning my large-scale East Coast college tour in the summer of 2010, Johns Hopkins University had just barely made my list. My mother had recounted disenchanting stories staring an overly competitive, anti-social student body in a dangerous city. She alleged it was a pressure cooker, a sink-or-swim environment, and that the school was indifferent to undergraduate students. However, when it came to writing my college tour list, I considered Johns Hopkins obvious strength - academics - and added it to the list in the tenth and final spot.

Upon visiting the campus, I was pleasantly surprised that the stereotypes about Johns Hopkins were unfounded or outdated. The area surrounding the Homewood campus put my mind at ease - calm, student oriented, and relatively safe. The students I saw on campus seemed unexpectedly friendly - a student I had just met even offered to show me her room to see a typical dorm at Johns Hopkins. They raved about undergraduate research opportunities and the personal interest professors take in students, which appealed to me because of my research background. Nevertheless, I had reservations regarding how comfortable the university would be for me. Would someone a little nerdy, a little free-spirited, and incredibly quirky fit in? Despite these concerns, the excellent impression of the school quickly moved Johns Hopkins up to the top of my college list.

My time at the XYZ College has been a period of growth and self-exploration. I have developed a more accurate understanding of what I need from and desire in a collegiate environment, and I firmly believe that Johns Hopkins is the right fit.

Johns Hopkins appeals to me because it is set in a vibrant urban environment amidst the Inner Harbor, the Maryland Science Center, and local cafés. It fits my desire to engage with a diverse student population from all 50 states and from 71 nations, enabling me to interact with countless cultures, worldviews, and life experiences. However, what solidified my decision to apply were the comforting words of a close friend, [Name Removed to Protect Privacy] - a freshman at Johns Hopkins, who assured me that there is no typical Hopkins student except that everyone is kind, friendly, and genuinely interested in their studies. She guaranteed me that I would fit in flawlessly with the student body, perhaps more so than she does. She explained that everyone with passion has a place on campus. I would make mine in a sorority, with the Baltimore Rescue Mission Clinic, and in the lab.

Above all, the university fits my academic interests perfectly. Johns Hopkins encourages individual growth through a self-directed and research oriented approach, something that specifically appeals to me because my preference for a more individualized educational experience. The university also offers a wide variety of courses in my intended major - neuroscience - such as Cognitive Development, Neuroscience of Decision Making, Synaptic Function and Plasticity, and Psychopharmacology. These courses coupled with research opportunities working with neuroplasticity induced by environmental factors including drugs and brain injury with Professor Gorman and Professor Baraban would enable me to explore my interest in the external factors that effect neuronal patterns associated with decision-making.

Undergraduate / Research changes lives; Common App - Independent Scientific Research [4]

This is my common application short answer on my research experience. Please critique harshly!

My fingers began to tremble as a typed. After six hours of transcribing and analyzing tweets, I felt the lower lid of my left eye twitch. Although my body began to feel the effects of exhaustion, I continued to pursue the culmination of three years of my research. I refused to sleep until I could finally come to a conclusion.

Research changes lives. The process of researching requires motivation and dedication, but also objectivity. It demands you to think scientifically and creatively at the same time. It forces you to look at the world in what appears to be a series of paradoxes that somehow work in tandem to create something new. Scientific inquiry has propelled me, intellectual curiosity has fueled me, and creativity and independence have allowed me the momentum to move forward at every bump along the way.

That night when I finally went to bed, I laid in bed musing over my conclusions - anorexic Twitter communities encourage detrimental or life-threatening behaviors.

Undergraduate / 'College Green with The Awakening' - Brown Transfer Supplement - Why Brown [4]

Please help! I want to transfer to Brown! Any comments on the essay?? Thank you!

I lazily reclined in the grass under an expansive elm on the College Green with The Awakening. A soft September breeze brushed against my cheek. My muscles further relaxed and I gently supported my back with the tree trunk. I reflected on the collegiate environment surrounding me - students reading, playing Frisbee, conversing with friends over coffee - and I had an epiphany: there is nowhere else in the world where I would prefer to be.

My revelation that day has only been reinforced, and I know that Brown is the right place for me. Every day, I long to live in an environment of socially active, open-minded learners. I desperately crave the academic self-determination and liberation only the open curriculum can give me. I seek a unified university that focuses on individual growth and development. I crave a world-renowned neuroscience program with dedicated professors and abundant research opportunities. I want, and have always wanted Brown.