Undergraduate / The Haegeum/ Common App Essay prompt #1 [4]

Prompt : Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Please look for any grammatical errors and weird phrases. I will thankfully accept any criticism :)

When I was ten, I went to an outdoor concert with my parents. Under the summer night sky, the rhythm of percussions wafted on fresh breeze and I swayed with joy. However, as the order of traditional music performance came, I, an energetic and lively tomboy, tried to leave the seats. All of a sudden, I was caught by a unique sound I never heard of, and thrilled by the exquisite sound that ranged from joy to melancholy. It was the fateful night that I met my lifelong friend, the Korean fiddle, Haegeum.

I learned from mom, who was passionate in experiencing various cultures, that it is a vertical fiddle with two silk strings and playing it is very difficult so that many people give up. Since I usually tried everything I was interested in, I decided to learn the haegeum dreaming of playing it like the musician. On the day of my first lesson, however, I could not even hold the bow in the right position. Whenever I practiced the haegeum, my brother put his hands over ears saying and said to stop the noise. In fact, the ugly squeaking sounds blasting from the strings were also painful for me.

On August 2010, when I came to the USA, I felt like a beginner of the haegeum. Even though I was excited with many expectation of the new life, the new school life was totally chaotic because of many difficulties and complicated situation. English was simply buzzes that passed through my brain as fragmentary knowledge, and the textbooks were just printouts of black letters and white paper like the complicated haegeum music sheet. As I once regretted choose the haegeum, I sometimes blamed myself to study abroad while others are busy with preparation to apply college. As the haegeum required more efforts to produce beautiful sounds and right tune, compared to the other instruments that make sound by simple touch, I had to work harder to catch up my friends who speaks English as their first language. Despite this, it awoke an indomitable spirit within me. I poured relentless energy and time to raise my level where the confusion and frustration became nothing more than a distant, fading memory.

Now calluses have formed on my right hand by grabbing pens and on my left hand by practicing the haegeum. I reached a minimum level that I make sounds that can be called music and perform in front of the others. Still when I perform solo, I become nervous, I could enjoy the pleasure of collaborating with other instruments like cello. Also when I lead the youth Korean traditional performance team, Haegeum Sarang, I feel proud and responsible. Even though I am not like the maestro at that summer night concert, when I see the veterans dropping tears, and crowded Salvation Army Kettling place during performance, I feel the sense of accomplishment. As I become college student and broaden perspective, I hope the boundary of performance to be widened.

Undergraduate / I felt the inexplicable sense of achievement;Extracurricular Essay (Tutoring ) [4]

It is asking to briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.

My essay is exactly 1000 characters.

Please comment if there are any grammatical errors and weird phrases.

Last year I received a thank you letter from my one of students' mother. Reading the letter of appreciation for guiding her child positively, I felt the inexplicable sense of achievement. Most pleasure of my life comes from the sharing of knowledge with others. So I have been tutoring since I was in 6th grade. Not only teaching school subjects, but also counseling their problems have been enriching my life. When I teach my students, I do not simply teach how to solve problem. I always look for the best method to raise their interest and understanding of the subject. In that process, I often find the efficient way that also helps me. Since any stress and worries affect the studying efficiency, I usually try to counsel any concern of my student. As we talk a lot and find the settlement, I learn the wisdom that benefits my life. I feel great joy when I see the positive result of the students. As I continued tutoring after I moved to the USA, I want to keep my pleasure even at the college.

Undergraduate / Playing Haegeum - Common App/ significant experience [2]

Prompt : Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I am not sure if it fits the prompt, I hope so...

I am not familiar with American expression and phrase, please check if there is any errors.

Thank you:)

I could not raise my head and I kept tuned the instrument that was perfectly tuned long time ago. I felt people in the Veterans' Hospital were staring at me holding foreign instrument with curiosity. Under the humongous pressure, I heard someone introduced my name and I picked my instrument and stood in front of the audience.

"Hello, I came from Korea two years ago with this Korean traditional instrument, Haegeum. As you can see this instrument is a vertical fiddle with two strings. I will present two songs, Yangcheong Doduri and Amazing Grace. Please enjoy."

Even though I memorized the introductory announcement several times, I still missed some parts and my hands were clammy with sweat. I was worried that I would give negative idea on Korean music and I prayed that I could play it without mistake at least. To ease the atmosphere, I told them to feel like Kings and Queens since the first music was Korean court music, but only one person laughed. I felt that no one would understand my performance today and I began playing with sigh.

During the performance, people began to clap following the rhythms of the song and sang along the song they knew, and I gained more confident and played with more energy. After I was done, I could see people smiling at me and sending great applaud with sincere appreciation. I also appreciated them for empathizing with my performance even though it was so foreign and unfamiliar to them.

It took seven years to play in front of people and touch their heart by performance. I was deeply fascinated by the haegeum's uniqueness and the sounds ranging from delight to melancholy. Unlike my expectation, at first, I had to suffer from all the ugly sound I was making. As it was unique instrument, it needed more effort to reach certain level to perform passably in front of an audience. After the long tough period, I could perform it and appeal to the audience over the border.

When I came to the USA, I was simply excited to experience different lifestyle than others. However I had to face many difficulties, strange situation, and disadvantages due to my poor English. I chose a new environment by leaving my familiar homeland, and I persevered through that tough period of adaptation that is sometimes long and harsh. Whenever I felt exhausted, I reminded myself of playing the haegeum in front of the audience, and I moved toward expecting that I can be blended in this new environment and enrich it by my own skills and experience.

I believe when I do my best, I can create the most beautiful sound that touches people's heart. Even though it seems far to reach high level, I will keep practicing until I can play with professional skills and share my passion with the audience. As I am stretching areas within my life, expanding my knowledge, I really hope to expand the places of my haegeum performance to the campus of my dream school someday.

Undergraduate / The Game of Life / Common App topic # 1 [3]

Prompt : Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

I hope my essay fits this prompt :p

I am not really familiar with English expression, grammar and phrase. Please check if there is any awkward sentences. Thank you.

I love playing games regardless of their genre. Most games, especially strategic games, are like a downsized version of life. I always agonize how to win or finish the game successfully. I sometimes study other players' strategies in order to supplement my own, but I usually build my strategies from scratch. Although it takes a lot of time to find the most efficient way to win each game, I always manage to find a way to complete each stage and move on to the next. As I surpass my best scores in each stage, I gain experience points. Just like in real life, I can use this newly gained experience in the next stage.

I don't like moving on to the next stage in my games without feeling like I have completely mastered my current stage. For this same reason, I decided to prolong my high school graduation and stay for an extra year. Because I transferred from Korea in August 2010, I did not have enough credit to graduate. I knew that I could make up those credits by taking online classes or summer school, but I did not think that was the best strategy for completing this stage of my life.

During my first year in an American high school (my junior year), I was trying to graduate by 2012, so I took as many classes as possible in order to graduate. However, I suddenly recalled a game I had played before. It is one of the hardest games in the world and each stage took a very long time to complete. I decided that the best strategy in this game would be to simply focus on basic goals, just collecting the required items and defeating the minimum number of enemies. As I proceeded through the stages, the game became harder because I did not have enough skill points and items. After a hard time of playing, I became very disappointed because I was not even close to the average score. After I read a review of the game written by one of its highest scorers, I realized I did not need to hurry because all those items and points from each stage would help me to complete the post stages easier.

When I realized how similar this game was to my life in high school, I ran to my counselor and asked if I could stay one more year so that I would learn more and be better prepared for college before leaving high school. I needed to become better experienced with new atmosphere and culture, develop myself so that I could survive and be successful, and find the way to finish this stage successfully while gaining all the experience and knowledge as possible. While some people took pity on me for making this difficult choice, I know it is for the best. My extra year in high school has afforded me greater preparation so that I can achieve the high score in the game of life.

Undergraduate / Korean traditional instrument, the Haegeum is what I play; Common App/Creative Work [4]

The prompt is "Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence. "

Please correct any grammar errors and strange phrase. I am not really familiar with English expression. I tried my best though :) Thank you.

Have you ever heard of a vertical fiddle with two strings? This Korean traditional instrument, the Haegeum is what I play. Like they do with other fiddles, those who are just starting to learn to play the haegeum produce a scratchy and ugly sound that makes people uncomfortable, even themselves. As my life needs an abundance of experiences and efforts, the haegeum needs a skilled grip and delicate touch to produce beautiful sounds and the right tune.

About seven years ago, I attended a concert where one musician performed the haegeum solo. I was deeply fascinated by the instrument that created sounds ranging from delight to melancholy. Enchanted by the atmosphere, I dreamed of playing the haegeum like the musician. On the day of my first lesson, however, I could not even hold the bow in the right position, and I was making squeaking sounds. Despite this, it awoke an indomitable spirit within me. I poured relentless energy and time into practice to bring my playing to a level where the ear-splitting sounds of my first day became nothing more than a distant, fading memory.

After the long tough period, I finally gained some minimum skills and techniques that allowed me to perform passably in front of an audience. My improved skill turned out to be a blessing. I was presented with the opportunity to be a teen representative in a cultural exchange event with China and was to perform the haegeum. Before the performance I worried that my performance would leave a negative impression about Korean music. However, after the performance, the audiences applauded with sincere appreciation beyond any I ever expected. This experience boosted my confidence while instilling a resolve to continue to strive toward improving my playing skills.

When I came to the USA, I felt like a beginner again, playing the haegeum for the very first time. Including my poor English, I had to face many difficulties and strange situations. I chose to play the haegeum which is difficult and complicated to play compared to other ordinary instruments that create the sound by simple touches. I chose a new environment by leaving my familiar homeland, and I persevered through that tough period of adaptation that is sometimes long and harsh. Whenever I felt exhausted, I reminded myself of playing the haegeum - which I could reach a higher level of playing the haegeum and perform in front of others after long period of practicing.

As I am maturing with new experiences, my life grows more abundant every day. I believe when I do my best, I can create the most beautiful sound that touches people's heart. Even though it seems far to reach high level, I will keep practicing until I can play with professional skills and share my passion with the audience. As I am stretching areas within my life, expanding my knowledge, I really hope to expand the places of my haegeum performance to the campus of my dream school someday.