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Posts by cefireo
Joined: Dec 2, 2012
Last Post: Dec 25, 2012
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From: Canada

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cefireo   
Dec 25, 2012
Undergraduate / Love for animals; MIT short answer - most significant challenge [4]

Since very young, I've always felt close to animals. My favorites were horses. I must have hadbeen 6 years old;unnecessary punctuation the first time I rode one:period her (caps) name was "Bella", and I felt such fulfillment and freedom as riding it that doing so has turned into a passion for me.

I kept riding, unnecessary punctuation as I grew up, and getting each time (move to end of sentence) better and closer to the horses. However, my riding experience is verb tense agreement not all happy. Indeed, a few years ago, as I was riding "Amazone", a very beautiful and imposing horse, a gust of wind scared off the poor animal, which wasused to be ridden indoors only. Thus , we were close to approach(ing) a fence, unnecessary punctuation when Amazone bucked, and I haven't had enough time to adjust the reins, before falling over.

Of course, this wasn't my first fall off a horse; it must have beenuse different words the tenth time: no one can ever claim of being a good horse rider if he never experienced a falling . But, this time, it was different: period instead it wasn't a simple fall, after which legs would hurt for a day or two. No, I have had a serious knee-fracture: I've had to wear a plaster cast for two months.

Though, the biggest challenge I've had to face was, once the two months were over, getting back on track, riding Amazone again. I was really torn between my passion of riding and the fear of getting hurt and re-living the horrible cast-experience all over. It was very difficult dilemma to end; but I eventually bypassed my fear: I couldn't stand the idea of giving up on my passion just because I was too much of a coward to face it. This personal challenge is the most relevant that I've had to face.

I still ride Amazone.
cefireo   
Dec 24, 2012
Undergraduate / Common App Extracurricular -- "Fantasy about Rock-band" 1000 Characters [3]

Since I was young, I had a fantasy about (creating?) a rock band such as Muse. So, as a singer recognized by my mother,(perhaps replace this part with something like "following my aspiration") I asked my friends to start our own fantasy, and five-member band, (NAME), was finally organized. I listened and hummed to the songs for our debut concert everywhere, every time.

The judgment day finally came. All (the) excited, yet nervous, the members walked into(onto) the stage. The drummer counts in to the fantasy: "One, two, three, four". While performing, we started recognizing each other's mistakes, which released our tension, and we found ourselves laughing (awkwardly structured sentence. Maybe try "While performing, we recognized each other's mistakes, which released our tension and made us laugh") . Singing aloud, running across the stage, jumping higher than ever, and sweating heavily. (comma) tT he performing time(performance) passed in a moment. (BAND)'s debut was not perfect like Muse's concert, but perfectly enjoyable for us.

With inextinguishable passion, our practice and performance continued; eventually, we have even performed in local rock-cafes. The fantasy developed me to a more ardent, adventurous and confident dreamer.

It's a good essay please don't let the red freak you out there aren't many colors to work with here :)
cefireo   
Dec 24, 2012
Undergraduate / I portray the overly outgoing student; Western AEO/HBA Essay; Uniqueness [2]

Topic:
The ideal Ivey HBA student has a wide range of interests, perspectives, and life experiences. Describe the uniqueness you have brought as a student to your high school based on your own interests, perspectives, and life experiences. Please be concise and respond using 250 words or less in your answer.


Essay:

While I strive to maintain a high academic standing, I also understand the importance of gaining hands-on experiences in real life. Truly, these are the events that grow and empower a person. In high school, I portray the overly outgoing student who embodies a wide range of interests that offer important experiences and knowledge which continue to shape me even as I am writing this essay. These experiences are permanent, transferable, and catalysts to my future - especially as an Ivey student.

Throughout my high school career, I've consistently, actively, and enthusiastically been involved in various leadership opportunities. With passion, I have helped students in DECA prepare for their competition. With empathy, I have organized a charity talent show for the students in my region. With concern, I have led workshops to combat social discrimination. With loyalty, I returned to China to become a volunteer English teacher for elementary children. Perhaps, the reason that I enjoy being a leader so much is that I love to see my actions produce results. From the thrill of victory with my school's DECA chapter to the untold satisfaction by raising money for rural farmers in India, each experience grants me a newfound perspective that enables me to fully actualize myself.

Overall, I have gained a great deal of life experiences and perspectives through my range of leadership roles during high school. Armed with a plethora of meaningful experiences and an open mind, I am able to bring to Ivey innovative ideas and outlooks.