tissuetearer
Dec 15, 2012
Undergraduate / Princeton Summer - I participated in volunteer trips to the asylums in the city [3]
"I felt the joy of learning overwhelm my heart"
^ a little cheesy. Try rephrasing this differently or saying it in a way so that the reader feels what you feel without you saying it. That's incredibly hard to you, but then again, so are writing good essays.
"correction of misconceptions"
^ a little vague. anything revelations of significant interesting?
I liked your take on the Opinionator! Interesting~
"The American soul has contradictions"
^ How so? What are some of these contradictions?
always trys to.. (second to last line, last paragraph)
Otherwise, this is an extremely well written essay! Good job and good luck!
If you get the chance, could you please read, comment, and critique my engineering essay? I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
"I felt the joy of learning overwhelm my heart"
^ a little cheesy. Try rephrasing this differently or saying it in a way so that the reader feels what you feel without you saying it. That's incredibly hard to you, but then again, so are writing good essays.
"correction of misconceptions"
^ a little vague. anything revelations of significant interesting?
I liked your take on the Opinionator! Interesting~
"The American soul has contradictions"
^ How so? What are some of these contradictions?
always trys to.. (second to last line, last paragraph)
Otherwise, this is an extremely well written essay! Good job and good luck!
If you get the chance, could you please read, comment, and critique my engineering essay? I would really appreciate it. Thanks!