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Posts by lehrling12
Joined: Dec 19, 2012
Last Post: Dec 25, 2012
Threads: 2
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From: United States of America

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lehrling12   
Dec 25, 2012
Undergraduate / A Fear of the Deep End; Boston College Supp/ experience that affected perception [2]

Overall, this is a solid essay. A pretty good hook and the flow is good as well.
For the end, I would just take out the last sentence. The tone of it doesn't connect well with the rest of the paragraph and it seems unnecessary.

the "all you need is a little push" should be a better ending to your essay.
lehrling12   
Dec 19, 2012
Undergraduate / UNC Supplement-Design your own course prompt. "journey into mystery" [NEW]

If you could design and teach your own course, what topic would you cover? What texts, assignments, projects, field trips, or other resources would you use in teaching this course?

The new course will be called, "The Journey into Mystery". It is going to be about an aspect that is incoherent in many people. The Journey into Mystery is where student will be aided in understanding themselves. A famous psychiatrist, Thomas Szasz, had said, "People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates." I believe that the self can't be discovered when there is nothing to discover. My course will help students develop their own identity and self.

In present times, it is obvious that a large portion of youth is heavily swayed by outside forces. These influences could be students being forced through their academics because of parents, doing whatever your friends want to do when you hang out, and the pressure of the social norm. While some people do break away from this and form their own identity, others simply go with the flow and regret not exploring their own interests many years later. Yet, these people do not bother to explore it by their own and need stimuli. I want to help them search for properties that will build up their own unique self.

On the first day of the course, I will ask each student about what present interests or hobbies they already participate in. If it's something as common as "listening to music" or "hanging out with friends", I'm going to inquire them a bit more, since I know many people answer like this because they do not have any present interests they take part in. Then, I will be asking each of them about the interests they have but have not undertaken. These two steps will be the hardest part of the whole course because many people will either not open up or they will just not know what they are interested in. However, the first work is to be conducted with the interests that are already known.

For each day, I will be picking one hobby or interest, and I will bring the whole class in to participate in it. This participation can be in any form, whether it's going to a musical or reading about Greek philosophy. Letting the individual who possesses the interest experience this, creates an aspect of his personal life. Allowing the whole class to take part in it constructs a sense of community to help some of the students open up their own areas of enthusiasm. Also, another student could become enticed by said interest and build up their own identity through it. At the end of each day, I will ask for new interests to each student.

There will be weekly assignments for the students to write about something they learned about one of their peers. I will be picking who each student is going to write about. This may seem irrelevant to developing one's self, but how is anybody to discover themselves when they aren't able to understand others in the slightest? That is why community within the class is important in honestly representing yourself. These assignments will lead to a final paper about each student's self. They will be writing about what they have learned about themselves. It could be about anything they learned of themselves.

After the course, they will have discovered themselves through their own means. They would each have built their own unique identity. This would be without the interference of outside pressures because they opened up. Now, when they are told to talk about themselves, they would know exactly what to say.

------------------------------------

Please be as critical as possible and point out any grammar mistakes.
Thank you.
lehrling12   
Dec 19, 2012
Undergraduate / My aunt would help choose the course for me; NYU/ Academic interests? [7]

Just as Karmie said, I think you should be as specific as you can when you discuss your future academics in NYU. Look through their website and talk about their programs and why they interest you. Do a little bit of research on their academics (only takes a few minutes). You don't need to talk about only one area of studies, but a few others.

But having personal reasons for being interested in NYU is a good aspect.
lehrling12   
Dec 19, 2012
Undergraduate / Common app essay about influential fictional character. "Don't forget the hyphen" [6]

Prompt - Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

Am I good enough?

I have always been insecure about myself due to my fear of judgment by those around me. It made me question my thoughts and abilities. I always asked myself if I was good enough, but never really looked for an answer; my insecurities kept me frozen in place.

This changed when I was introduced to Spider-Man. Although he may not be from a respected novel, I immediately fell in love with his wall crawling, crime-fighting antics.

Spider-man is a super hero motivated by the notion of responsibility given to him along with his powers. He is deemed a menace to society and no one truly trusts him. However, he never retires the mask because he believes that even they may need his help one day. He has sworn to protect the innocent, no matter their opinion of him. Spider-man is usually out-ranked by his fellow superheroes. To them, he is just some guy that can stick to walls and shoot webs out of his hand. Despite this, Spider-man is always there and ready. He knows that he is not the best superhero and knows he probably never will be, but that does not keep him from doing his best to protect the innocent. With great power, comes great responsibility; and he lives by these words, no matter what others think of him.

Now the real question is: Am I ready?

After looking at things from a different perspective, I now realize that none of my past worries matter at all. I was always concerned about my own worth and how others perceived me. These never should have been my priorities; instead, my priorities should lie in my responsibility as a student.

I was losing touch with my academics and my hard-earned friends who I befriended when I moved from Korea. I was so worried about others' opinions, that I isolated myself from my friends. I now understand that I should not fear their judgment; I should be bold enough to endure their negativity. I should be strong enough to have my own opinion and be who I am. That is what Spider-Man did, even when the world was against him.

The reason I was obsessed with my worth was because I always saw myself as mediocre. I was never at the top of my class, just like how Spider-man felt among other superheroes. However, I realized that sulking over my mediocrity will not change my state for better. I learned that it does not matter if I am recognized or not, or even if I become the best. What matters is how much I commit to what I do and that I put forth my best effort in all my responsibilities. That is what Spider-Man did when the odds were always against him.

So, my answer to the new question is: maybe, but that does not mean I will not try.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------

That's my essay. I've been working on it for a while but I want to see what opinions you guys would have. Please be very critical if you see anything I need to add or take out.

Thank you.
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