Writing Feedback / Working in a cubicle - Division\Classification essay with emphasis on Division. [6]

We are working on Division\Classification essays this week. Our teacher
asked us to concentrate more on Division. I had a hard time with this one and my opening paragraph and closing paragraph could use some work. Any help would be appreciated!

My Cubicle Job

A cubicle can be defined as a partially enclosed workspace, separated from adjoining workspaces by panels that are usually five to six feet tall. Partially or totally open on one side to permit access, a cubicle's designed purpose is to isolate office workers from the sights and noises of an exposed workspace; moreover the theory being that this allows workers more privacy and helps them to concentrate without interruption. In reality, due to the potpourri of co-worker personalities, cubicle life promotes distractions and a circus like work environment often causing grown adults to behave like children. The dreadful reputation cubicle life has been known for stems directly from the people that inhabit them.

If the temperature in your office goes from one extreme to another, in a matter of minutes, you have an office El Nino. Dressed in a woolen parka fit to wear in the Artic, she thinks nothing of bottoming out the thermostat, thus subjecting everyone else to unreasonably cool temperatures. Once the temperature reaches the frostbite stage someone else will "re-adjust" the thermostat; consequently causing the temperature to soar into Saharan like heat. It does not matter that fifteen people are comfortable, she must be accommodated. Perhaps if it is so cold you are wearing ear muffs, you will be well insulated from the next kind of co-worker.

This co-worker fritters away hours out of every single workday complaining about everything under the sun. He consistently proves himself as the least productive bee in the hive, yet he won't hesitate to call the IT department because his computer happens to be running a little slow. An insignificant mistake by another co-worker can set off a tirade lasting twenty minutes about how no one knows how to do their job; nevertheless a gaffe made by this particular co-worker merely receives a chuckle. The complainer has few friends therefore he ends up at the top of the keyboard list - a list of people you would like to beat about the head and shoulders with their own keyboard.

While the complainer brings down moral, the prankster can rouse a few laughs, hence at first seeming entertaining. Pranks usually come about in an effort to cope with the eternal boredom of life in a cube. We have all probably been guilty of being a prankster at least once. A prankster will often re-decorate or re-organize someone else's workspace in a manner that he finds humorous. A screen saver might be changed from "Go Cardinals!" to "Go Cubs!" Your telephone's ringer might be turned up to maximum volume; consequently scaring the bejesus out of you the first time it rings. Every time you sneeze, the phone may ring once and then cease. After awhile these pranks become old and tiresome distracting you from your job.

The final type of annoying co-worker can furrow brows, wrinkle noses and scrunch faces faster than the ape house at the zoo. Just after your sense of smell finally adjusts to the stale, fetid odor that already permeates those colorless cloth walls, he'll stroll through the office smelling like he's been working on a road crew in July. Doesn't he have any loved ones at home to tell him he reeks? On the other side of that equation lurks the co-worker that tries too hard to smell good by bathing in a vat of eye watering fragrance strong enough to make you physically ill.

In conclusion, if you work in a cubicle on a regular basis chances are: you've been uncomfortable because of the temperature, gotten tired of listening to a co worker complain, put up with so many pranks you ran out of laughter, or had your sense of smell permanently marred. A false sense of privacy lulls people into believing that their behavior isn't bothersome, thus creating a breeding ground for hot tempers, resentments and damaged relations. If people actually had to look each other in the eye everyday, perhaps they'd think twice about their repulsive behavior.

Writing Feedback / Narrative Essay, any subject ("jobless rates in America") [3]

Assignment: Write a narrative essay. Any subject.

I've heard about jobless rates in America endlessly every single day on the morning news, the afternoon news, and the evening news. While opening up the morning paper I am routinely accosted by various charts and graphs boldly colored in red depicting the dire nature of our economy. It became easy for me to become desensitized by the constantly streaming bad news especially since I'd been employed by the same company since 1996 and felt very secure in my job. Recent developments brought this epidemic too close to home, making it impossible to ignore.

Beginning on a Wednesday the crazy, unfathomable rumors made their way around the massive tin building like wildfire, filling every employee's heart with dread. The recent economic downturn that had made life more difficult for many people now seemed to have my employer in its crosshairs. One rumor claimed an entire 3rd shift would be eliminated, cast out like day old soup. The other rumor purported that a "big" meeting would be held on Friday to discuss jobs or more importantly job losses. While none of the sensational rumors turned out to be exactly correct, like the pattern of a shotgun blast they circled the devastating truth.

By Thursday the increasingly sour feeling in the pit of my stomach would no longer allow me to eat. Everything seemed to slow down to a snails pace. Management avoided employees' questions, averting their eyes when passing them in the hall. The only "boss" who I thought would give me a straight answer could only offer: "There will be no meeting. No discussion." The hand writing plastered the walls like neon signs on Main Street.

Time stood absolutely still on the morning of Friday, the 13th of February in my thirteenth year of employment at Rotometrics. I awoke wide eyed, several hours too early, not waking from a nightmare but waking into one. The urgent need to get to work completely overtook me with an iron resolve to face any fate that may or may not come. Driving slowly through the parking lot, I half expected the building to look like one of the castles in a Dracula movie, complete with bats, a moat and drawbridges slamming shut. Entering the building through the cafeteria as I do every day, the stark contrast of the atmosphere immediately became apparent. The large room usually filled with people sipping coffee and eating glazed donuts before their shift started, remained empty except for one man who stood staring at a blank wall. Walking the plank of life, I continued on to my desk intent on beginning my day of work.

The constant ringing of telephones and drone of mindless chatter were noticeably absent, the only sound being the ominous hum of the fluroescent lights overhead. Co-workers remained at their desks, silently contemplating, each one going over their own worst case scenario in their heads. A pile of work sat mockingly on my desk, daring me to complete it before possibly being handed my final paycheck, a last grain of salt rubbed into the open wound. Concentration left me. Disjointed thoughts remained, some frighteningly crazy, funhouse thoughts skewed and escalating out of proportion.

A sound from behind ripped me out of that other dimension, causing my heart to beat double time. I spun around in my chair to discover a man who works in the department next to mine standing behind me. He whispered conspiratorially: "they're done with your department".

Done? I hadn't been aware that they'd started! In this mausoleum like silence how did I completely miss someone being fired, packing up twenty years of family photos, magazines, coffee mugs, even houseplants and then walking out the door? Running over to the suspected victim's desk, I found the computer turned off and every personal effect gone. Just like that.

With this revelation I could no longer sit silently and stew in my own emotions, so I begin to converse with my co-workers, exchanging facts and speculations. Looking over our shoulders gossip flew, names piling up of people systematically fired and shown the door. Occasionally someone working in the shop would enter our office looking dumbstruck, to relate the drama being played outside our doors: a steady stream of employees, some crying hysterically, some stoic, escorted away by their immediate supervisor.

Finally after an excruciating morning agonizing over the unknown, our boss entered the room. After informing us that we still had jobs, he delivered quite an eloquent line of corporate rhetoric meant to ease our minds and stroke our egos. An almost audible sigh of relief escaped everyone although halfway through his speech you could see the wheels turning in everyone's head. Our boss wielded the axe. The unenviable task of notifying people they no longer had a job, a career or a paycheck belonged to him. Short lived relief became still more fear and uncertainty. Would it be one of us next?

As I went home that evening the ill feeling I'd endured all day lingered on. I could find no joy in knowing that while I still had a job on Monday, many of the people I'd worked with for years did not. In my mind I could picture the chart I would see in the Saturday paper, the red bolder than ever, the arrows soaring higher before my eyes. Headlines I can ignore no longer ignore.

Writing Feedback / Yet another essay on television... [6]

No crazy instructions only requirement is to be 5 paragraphs.
Thanks for any suggestions.

It seems to me, that people constantly try to pass off their child rearing woes onto someone or something else. Taking the brunt of the blame, the television has become America's favorite excuse for ill-behaved lazy children. The gamut of grievances can take us anywhere from violence making our kids aggressive to junk food ads encouraging eating disorders to wily ad men targeting our pocketbooks via our children. Let's stop blaming the most convenient scapegoat and make adult decisions.

Some believe that commercials during Saturday morning cartoons turn their children into professional naggers, constantly pleading for the latest gadget. Those clever advertising executives place attractive commercials around shows they know our children watch. They're practically stalkers! Assuming television didn't exist, would our children stop wanting? I'm pretty certain that if my daughter went out to play, and noticed her friend had a new I-Pod Touch, that she would want one too. People find it easier to condemn an inanimate object rather than taking responsibility and imposing rules or limits.

A newspaper article in the Post Dispatch claimed that children who watched violence on T.V. are more likely to display aggressive behavior. Brutal violence found in the news, primetime programming or music videos can confuse children about their values and upbringing. While I do not doubt the truth of these claims, many preventative techniques can be applied to ensure that negativity on television will not interfere with a child's development. In response to public concerns the television industry and the FCC devised a simple and easy to use guide: the T.V. Parental Guideline system. To me this absolves any fault you can find with the television or media content.

According to the Surgeon General's website, 12.5 million children in the United States are obese. Stat spouting researchers are quick to blame the television for this alarming epidemic. They say food advertisements influence children to make unhealthy food choices or popular movie and TV characters encourage children to buy and consume more high-calorie snacks. Really? Who does the grocery shopping in those households? Obesity in childhood and adolescence can be primarily related to lack of exercise and overeating. Parents in America desperately need to be intelligent and responsible enough to make food choices for their children and promote the positive effects of physical activity and sports.

If you want to stop them from watching television, you must also stop them from doing everything else that might be harmful to them. Putting your foot down and saying "no" can be a difficult task for many parents who want to please their child. When an issue comes up and you're forced to make a decision that doesn't agree with your child everyone feels unhappy. A pervasive gloom settles on the entire household. It's easy to see why a lot of parents take the easy way out and give in only to blame the television later. We want our kids to have everything we didn't so rather than teach them manners and limits, we give them the world and hope for the best. Stop blaming TV for making our kids fat and lazy. Pointing a finger at television is a cowardly short cut, a mere distraction averting ownership of fault.

Writing Feedback / Short Essay on Modern day televison watching. [5]

Watching television is a culture of today's modern society. Being the favorite past time of many people, it cuts across culture, creed, gender and age. In the exciting world of television, something is available for every hard to please couch potato. We can tune in anywhere from reality shows and music videos to documentary's and dramas. One thing is for certain: With the advent of modern technology, television watching is now easier and more enjoyable than ever.

We have all at some time or another missed a show we wanted to see. The hustle and bustle of a fast paced existence eats hours out of our days. Ten years ago, if you knew you would not be able to catch the latest episode of "Friends", you would begin the excruciating task of programming the VCR. Accomplishing this amazing headache inducing feat required a degree in Sony-ology. Digital Video Recorders (DVR's) eliminate all of this and more. In mere seconds, you can set up a show to record once or an entire season. With a DVR you can pause, rewind or fast forward through entire sets of snore producing commercials. By eliminating the time viewing commercials, you can save at least twenty valuable minutes per one hour program. A DVR allows you the freedom to watch anything you want, anytime you want. In the event you just can't get enough of those Lifetime movies, consider Netflix.

This online movie rental service stocks nearly every title available on DVD allowing subscribers to rent as many DVD's they want, and keep them for as long as they want. The DVD's get delivered at no extra cost to you through the United States Postal Service from several distribution centers located throughout the U.S. Most titles can be delivered within one business day. Netflix rapidly evolved into America's favorite time saving, commercial eradicator. It's not just some hip new teenage lingo you try to throw into your water cooler conversations, Netflix is a viable time and money saving entertainment experience. Just think about the time you will save by not having to drive to your local video rental only to find the movie you had your heart set on cannot be obtained. Also as a subscriber to Nettle you will never pay any late fees.

Today the High Definition revolution is upon us, forever changing the way we enjoy our favorite past time. A televised sporting event in HDTV far surpasses the experience of attending the game in person any day of the week. No more missing key plays from the nosebleed section and paying eight dollars for a hotdog. HDTV enhances every pressure packed situation making you feel like a part of the game. Shows like Planet Earth on the Discovery channel offer many awe inspiring views ranging from cityscapes to mountain ranges. No earthly habitat is left uncovered and can be seen from every unimaginable angle.

Every day millions of people turn to their televisions to escape the pressures and stress of everyday life. Bounding increases in technology have made the television an integral part of every household. HDTV provides crystal clear panoramas that dazzle the senses. With tools like Digital Video Recorders and Netflix, a relaxing evening of television can now be obtained conveniently and hassle free.

Any help on how to make this better or feedback in any form. Thanks in advance.