Undergraduate / At a glance, I'm a quiet girl who smiles & giggles / Stanford supp; Roommate Letter [6]

Dear future roommate,
I feel like it's only right that I caution you of my strangeness now before you get bombarded by it the first time you meet me. At first glance, I will be the quiet girl who smiles and giggles at everything but doesn't utter a single word. After a while, I will be the girl who intervenes once in a while to agree, saying, "I know right!" Get to know me for couple more days and I will be the girl who cracks jokes on herself just to get the other person laughing. But if you stick with me long enough, I will be the girl who brings a smile to your face on your bluest day and catches you when you get off balance. In a nutshell, I'm the perfect example of the cliche "don't judge a book by its cover". I'm honest but not blunt. I only speak the truth or just be quiet. (this sounds a bit awkward ) While I enjoy listening to music, I would rather act to it or dance it out. It helps me escape reality and find that temporary bliss. Dancing to those Bollywood songs gives me a rush of euphoria so be ready to jam out at the most random times! I study, not for tests, but for my own education. If I want to know how cell respiration works, I'll learn it. I'm quiet but not anti-social. Being quiet reduces the chances of drama but once in a while, I need those random chats. I'm different but not bizarre. Crime shows are my favorite but at the same time, eradication of all crime is my hope (I don't think hope is the word your looking for. Maybe desire? ). I love nature but also my technology. I would rather play sports outside than video games inside but a power blackout is enough to give me a panic attack. I'm stubborn to my opinions yet flexible to everyone else's so don't mistake me for zealot. The only favor I'm asking of you is to stick with me until my shell breaks open. If you are smiling at the end of this letter, I know we will be great friends! Can't wait to meet you!

-*name*
I like it. I believe it embodies your interests well. I just made a few minor changes.
Good luck to you!! :)

Undergraduate / MY INTEREST ON STATISTICS-Cornell essay [13]

I not only kept outstanding grades but also helped improve the grades of the whole class.

I gathered maths-lovers together designing the quizzes ; the moments while I was standing on the platform explaining my creative methods solving of challenging problems were still in my mind.

To introduce harder knowledge in quizzes , first I had to learn higher math course by myself. My involvement in teaching not only shaped me into a confident speaker but also motivated me to explore a vaster maths world outside the textbooks. These challenging activities cultivated my good habits to seek and obtain a more profound education that would challenge me.

I successfully collected 57 questionnaires,

And then,M y first research study experience enriched my concept of knowledge in maths. I was assigned a group project to study people's money management plan. After stepping out of my comfort zone, I successfully collected 57 questionnaires, but they were not enough for the project. Some other groups counterfeited questionnaires to meet the requirement, but our group didn't follow them. It urged me to respect the fact .

Statistical analysis was the soul of this project, so the figures should objectively show the facts rather than false impression .(Just a thought/opinion ) After we carefully recorded and rigorously analyzed the figures, we could easily focus on the phenomenon hidden behind the random figures. The various diagrams clearly showed us the general status and inspired us to continue on . The statistics analysis helped me reveal the current status and even foresee the future trends. Essentially, maths is not just for solving the problems in the tests, but for settling down the practical problems; the results are not just dull numbers but like notes that form beautiful melodies. Therefore, I want to learn more about statistics, not to be a test-terminator, but to be a solver of practical problems in life, a witness of present conditions, and a predictor of future tendencies. You should express the development and evolution more in depth.

Cornell University's rigorous academic atmosphere and reputation as an ideal place to get better educational opportunities attract me to apply for the college of arts and sciences. Its systematically academic programs can promote my knowledge of in both computational skills and statistics knowledge. The undergraduate research program will strongly enrich my experience that cannot be absorbed from textbooks . I can also get guidance, motivation and inspiration to further develop my potential when Cornell's career service helps me set up goals and plans for my future career. Moreover, I not only want to but also hope to contribute to the academic atmosphere by enhancing academic vitality in the university with my creativeness and rigor.

You essay is good, but you need to go more in depth about the evolution. Add more concrete examples. Really try to reflect your intellectual interest uniquely because that is what colleges are looking for.

Goodluck to you!!

My stanford supp needs revision :)

Undergraduate / To show the world that "We Exist"is my vision ; Stanford Supp/ Intellectual Vitality [8]

Being a minority myself, I understand and can relate to the stereotypes you have gone through. I believe the topic of discrimination is unique which you can use to your advantage. Your essay sounds good, but I believe you should talk more about what this experience has made your realize. If I am not mistaken this experience has made you desire to end discrimination. You should focus and emphasize the development you have gone through. Show your vitality and this essay will be golden. Good Luck!!

Mind checking my what matters to me essay. I wrote about the discrimination and societal pressures as well, but I feel I am missing something.

Undergraduate / Stanford Supp: What matters to you and why?my brother was stuck on the father space [6]

I agree with jcubed you should look for a more smoother transition. You should reflect more on why it matters. Making yourself shine throughout the essay is important.